Thanx for this cecilia97 we all need a place where we can just let go. My prayer request is to not give up. My divorce will be final end of Feb 07. Here am I going to church every Sunday doing the right thing and I feel as if I am suffering more than he ever will. He is so happy you can hear it in his voice. He has moved on he tells me it is a year that we are not together anymore. That he can only care about me from a distance and that is all that he can give me. I never asked for that so why did he say that. He says he is making the most of a situation and that God has blessed him with this now 20 year old. And they go to church together etc. They are living together and everything seems to be working out wonderfully for him. And here am I battling and struggling to get over what has happened. That it is so easy for him to switch off his feelings after we were together for 12 years. That I am all alone having to bring up two small children on my own. This is not what I wanted this is not the life I asked for.
My marriage was not great there were more bad times then good. There was physical and emotional abuse. He wanted to control me and what I did and where I went etc. He did not want me to have friends. He wanted me to be in the house all the time never going anywhere. So why am I still crying about this man. Why am I still feeling the pain when I should have been over him a long time ago. I just don’t have the answers. As soon as I feel that I am getting the answers then I am back down in a miserable and unhappy situation.
Robaynne,
give yourself time. They say it takes about 3 years to get over a divorce and it must be especially painful if he’s playing the wonderful, Christian man and doting father.
If he had really changed to become this wonderful man, a real conversion of heart, don’t you think he would be doing the right thing and not living in sin?
He has not changed. Don’t be fooled. It is an act to ease his conscience. Don’t think that she is getting better treatment than you did. People don’t change that easily.
Please try to stop thinking about what she has, and what you’ve lost. He’s the one that has lost!
He is an adulterer. No matter what he pretends to be, he is sinning against God.
I have been reading a few books on abusive men lately and I don’t really know your story or what he was like, so I don’t know if these books would apply. But try getting some good books to read on your situation. It helps. I know how you feel. My first husband left me for a 19yo when our 4th child was 5months old. He broke up with her 4 years later and he is still wandering around looking for women, oblivious to anything at all but what he needs ‘right now’. He is a lost soul and has no depth. The tears I cried over him for 4 or so years were wasted on him. He was not worth them.
God will reward you. I remember feeling the same way. i tried to do everything right and he was doing everything wrong and he was happy and I was miserable. Just offer every little pain, suffering and every tear to God. He joyfully accepts our sufferings, offered with a willing heart. Pray for the grace do His will, no matter how unpleasant or how hard. I think if you realise that suffering willingly for God is the greatest gift you can give back to Him. He is the most wonderful and loving Father and He wants only what is good for us. As painful as this is, believe with childlike faith and trust in Him that this is His will and good will come out of it.
God bless and I will pray for you.
