Prayers needed for this patience-less mom

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beenwashed

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I am pregnant. I have a 2 year old and an 11 month old. My son has been in a bit of potty training regression. He’s also been throwing lots of screaming tantrums lately and just being a typical two year old boy. Some of It seems to be a phase because this seemed to have started a couple months ago. However, i do feel like my husband and i have been constantly having to get on to him for doing something wrong. I have lost most of my patience for the poor boy an I think it’s compounding this phase. I feel just terrible for the way ive treated him lately. Of course the mother in me thinks im going to scar him for life and im going to break his little spirit. My husband disagrees. He just thinks i need to try reacting differently to the frustrations with him and he will be fine, which im sure hes right. He alsosays i just need to try praising him more and letting some of his mistakes go because theyre just accidets. I really could use some prayers to help me regain my patience and perspective with him and to remember he’s only two and deserves to be treated better than ive been treating him.
 
They call it terrible two’s for a reason:)

I have a two year old as well. It’s a hard age because they are more independent, but still have a little trouble communicating effectively. Not only that, but they have trouble comprehending and understanding what you mean when you say something. Although it’s frustrating for us as parents, it has to be more frustrating for them in a lot of ways. In a way it’s like you’re talking in two different languages. That could explain some of his frustration, and temper tantrums if/when you start to become impatient. It sometimes helps me to remind myself, “Ok, he’s only been on this earth for 2 years…Am I expecting something from him right now that might be too much?” If the potty training seems to be a point of contention right now, I would put it on the back burner until he shows interest. Sure, a lot of kids are potty trained at two years, but there are many who aren’t ready that young. If he regressing, it’s okay. He’ll eventually get the hang of it.

Also, take time for yourself. Spend time in prayer seeing your son as God sees him. Be patient with yourself as well. God understands how tough it can be to parent. You are doing a great job! By the way, CONGRATS on your pregnancy! We’re expecting as well.

I’ll say a prayer for you tonight. Please say one for me too:)
 
beenwashed said:
I am pregnant. I have a 2 year old and an 11 month old. My son has been in a bit of potty training regression. He’s also been throwing lots of screaming tantrums lately and just being a typical two year old boy. Some of It seems to be a phase because this seemed to have started a couple months ago. However, i do feel like my husband and i have been constantly having to get on to him for doing something wrong. I have lost most of my patience for the poor boy an I think it’s compounding this phase. I feel just terrible for the way ive treated him lately. Of course the mother in me thinks im going to scar him for life and im going to break his little spirit. My husband disagrees. He just thinks i need to try reacting differently to the frustrations with him and he will be fine, which im sure hes right. He alsosays i just need to try praising him more and letting some of his mistakes go because theyre just accidets. I really could use some prayers to help me regain my patience and perspective with him and to remember he’s only two and deserves to be treated better than ive been treating him.
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He might not be ready for potty training. Some boys take longer. I tried to start my first son too soon as well and it ended up being too frustrating for everyone. I know with an 11 month old and one on the way that having 3 in diapers will be no fun but this is no fun either and frustrating to everyone. The first one was over three when he finally got it and I did regret trying to start too soon under pressure from my late mom. I think that the more obsorbent diapers can hinder the process because the child isn’t aware of what they are doing. I think I would back off on the training and have things calm down and the tantrums stop. Good luck with all those children and try and get some rest.
 
“Rainbows” — an outward sign from God that he would not punish us so harshly.

I have a two year old too, and yesterday I did punish her too harshly. Then rainbows started stalking me causing me to tell her about Noah & the Ark. This lead me to speak out loud to her that I punished her too hard and that with Gods help, Daddy’s help, and her help I would do better at just punishment. I hope you get your rainbow too.🙂
 
Dear Washed,
I have a 16 year old daughter and a 3 year old grandson, and it’s really amusing how much alike they are in some ways – both think they know everything and want to do everything on their own, but just aren’t quite ready yet.
It’s a lot more obvious with the 3 year old, of course, because he just lacks some basic knowledge that we need to teach him, but he’s so set on doing everything himself. And he will cross his arms and refuse to move sometimes, if things aren’t going his way. Usually he will do it on a walk or at the park when it’s time to leave and he refuses. I just start walking and he will follow. He’s almost too heavy for me to carry now.
If you can see the funny side of things it may help. I know it helps me, but they both get huffy if I start smiling at them, so I have to watch it. It doesn’t help to say, you’re acting just like a teenager (or 3 year old)!
They will be older before you know it, and a big help to you. Congratulations on your coming baby! Maybe if you involve the 2 year old in preparations for his new sibling it will help. I know our grandson loves to be helpful – he always feeds the dog when he comes over.
God bless.
 
He’s been fully potty trained for quite a while now…6 months or so. The timing of his regression I think is due to him acting out his frustration right now. I think he gets frustrated with me or something upsets him so he pees his pants. I just need to remember that I need to go back to reminding him on a regular basis again which would fix that problem. Thanks for the help y’all.
 
This has been my observation: When toddlers are not potty trained they get picked up and spoken to and attention is paid to them for their potty training, hygiene and dressing. When they get potty trained they begin to notice less attention. When they “make a mistake” they notice the renewed attention and find it is a sure way to get touched, spoken to, and loved again…who wouldn’t cook up such a scheme to get attention?

The goal, and I know it is difficult during a pregnancy when you are tired and in need of some attention yourself, is to do something fun and positive around non-potty activities: sensory activities like putting on lotion, playing with water or a mister bottle, fingerpainting, planting flowers in the dirt, taking a bath, a kaleidoscope, music, bubbles, videos, play tents, pillow sandwiches, funny food (faces on pancakes), finding objects (small toys) in a bag of uncooked beans (if the toddler doesn’t try to eat the beans), sand play, soft furry textures, soft blankets from the dryer, nature sounds, favorite items, gadgets.

Think of about 20 different sensory activities (involves touch, sight, hearing, smell, taste) and prepare them in advance in little ziploc bags or on a high safe shelf (ask for help in preparing these if you are tired.) Think of them as “ammunition”, prevention, timesavers.

Some can be BIG activity, some can be smaller and quieter, some can require interaction, some can be more passive and independent. If they are thought out in advance and used when you are feeling good as well as tired, it will distract from the attention seeking of “potty manipulations”. Involve yourself in some of these activities by including YOUR favorite lotion, YOUR favorite treats, YOUR favorite textures, etc.

We have so many chores and duties these days that we forget to have pleasures and fun.

Try to simplify some of your daily chores and obligations and try to stay healthy and happy. Kids at any age seem to know when we are most tired or sick and that seems to be the time when they start to act out. We’ve gotta outsmart them! Enlist help and have “ammunition” stations in various rooms AND the car. Be sneaky so he doesn’t know where to find the next one. Good luck. You’re in our prayers. Remember St. Gerard, patron saint of expectant mothers.
 
Just try and remember to acknowledge your son’s emotions and work through them. If he throws a tantrum over wanting something at the store, for example, you can calmly say something like “I know you are frustrated that we can not buy the toy today.” And move on. I find tat mine gets a little less frustrated (just a little) when I remember to be positive in my parenting. Also, it is very possible to be stern without being scary, and to be firm without being formidable. Just keep it in mind. You can do this. 🙂 Above all, try and remind yourself that your son is his own little person with his own feelings, wants, and methods of thinking and doing things. I found my patience as a mama has increased the more I accept my daughter for who she is. It has really helped me pick my battles. Also, it is easy to get stuck in a rut of just coming down on all your child has done wrong. …I just found myself in that rut again a few months ago during a rough phase. Try and remember to praise praise praise everything he does right. Cheer him on, thank him, congratulate him, reward him… you’ll get through it. 🙂 Congrats on the new bundle!! How blessed you are!!
 
What’s going on with your 11 mo. old? Any milestones that have changed the balance of the family or the relationship between the 2 existing sibs? When are you due? Children pick up on changes inside us because they are less rational and more experiential. Please consider all factors, including whether you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT) before you discipline or interact with your little ones. You have a lot on your plate - any help you can enlist?

:love::love:

Hang in there.
 
I have a 3 yr old (not potty trained), a 17 month old, and I’m pregnant. I am right there with you. I would frankly ditch the potty right now. It’s contentious and you don’t need the headache. Let it happen when it happens.
I try to remember that there is only so much kids can handle. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, sickness, or stress will mean they can deal with even less.
If it’s an accident, say “oops!” And let him help clean it up.
If it’s a tantrum, and he’s not hungry/thirsty/tired/stressed, say “I’m sorry you’re angry/sad/frustrated because of x. Would you like to be angry on the floor or in my arms?” If in your arms, kiss him the go about your business while he screams and you hold him. No excess attention, just matter-of-fact touch and holding. He’ll say he wants to be alone, anyway. Ignore it. Ask every few minute if he’d like help - in a calm, normal voice. This is not worth your time to stress over. Do not let toddler tantrums rule the emotional tenor of your house.
Tell him to do something once. If he doesn’t do it, pick him up and make it happen. No fuss. No anger. We say, “If you’re not going to listen, we aren’t going to talk, and things will just happen.”
Try to cut out food dyes and preservatives. It makes an enormous difference.
Praise the heck out of him. And do not let yourself be bothered by it. This is normal. It doesn’t have to upset you.
I find every day goes better if we have some kind of reading, art, nature, and sensory stuff (preferably running, preferably outside). And if you need it, use TV. I hate it but I often need a break. You can find Mr. Rogers on amazon instant video and it’s super awesome and peaceful. We also do a lot of nature and dinosaur specials.
 
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Some boys are slower than the girls with potty training. I taught my kids outside in the backyard first, ie when they felt the need to go, instead of racing inside to ‘make it’, it was easier for them to (a) register they needed to go while relaxed/playing outside, (b) go to the loo outside, (c) go in and wash their hands afterwards when 18 months old thereabouts. After a few weeks of this, I then brought each one in and said “do you want to go on the toilet like all the big grown up people now”, after placing the potty lid inside the toilet seat (they never used a potty) while I held them for reassurance, It worked for both children.

Temper tantrums usually only occurred with my daughter from preservatives or salicylates in yellow/orange foods such as carrots, pumpkin, orange juice if consumed on the same day. Some other vegetables have these too along with chicken nuggets, fish fillet batters and foods that are frozen or commercially prepared, Once a Neighbour down the road informed me when my daughter was 4 years old and put on a couple of shocking tantrums over nothing at all and not tired at the time (she had slept well the night before) and no stress in the home etc, I knew something was in her system whereby she had reacted,

Teeth pain is another cause around the two year old mark and they find it difficult at two years to localise or identify where the pain is coming from. I would be mindful that your son is probably getting his other teeth. Particularly if his cheeks redden,

Give him plenty of water and have him checked regularly including his teeth, They may be large nerves and teeth developing for a few months; so cast your mind back as to how tooth aches are and the throbbing that occurs when there are tooth related things happening.

With his sibling now arrived and some time they all feel is missing while Mum is whizzing around busy and extremely tired; I would be having Mum to Son time every day while Dad is nursing Baby, Go for a walk together and loads of kisses, hugs, reassurance to your son that nothing has changed! This way, he will bond beautifully too with his sister along the way.

Another thing is to reward your son at the time he exhibits excellent behaviour. When a tantrum is thrown, walk out of the room. Do not leave your baby in the room with him when he does this though, as some toddlers throw things to get Mum’s attention. When his tantrum subsides, reward him for his good behaviour.

Ignore the negatives, reward the positives

Love, Kisses and Hugs in between

Into his room if he disrupts the whole household for a sleep. Follow through always. He should not be throwing regular tantrums continuously if he does not have teeth pain or headaches or any other type of pain though.

Toddlers will do this when a new baby has arrived into the household if they are not reassured and given the time they had before the baby arrived,

I have seen the Super Nanny and noticed that if some of the Mothers and Fathers had reduced some of their tasks to show their love and give hugs and reassurance to their young children, most of them in all probability, would not have thrown tantrums in the first place unless there were health issues at the time.

Sure, one has to ignore and not reward tantrums and negative behaviour however if toddlers are getting their adequate sleep, drinking loads of water, eating healthily, feel loved and reassured, have their parents spend time with them (the years fly by so quickly the time not replayed), kept busy with little tasks, there should be few regular tantrums.
 
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