Praying for guidance

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JoeFreedom

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Okay, I honestly hope I chose the right place for this thread. I’ve read the sticky about it and I can honestly say I am not here to try and break any rules, but only to ask for guidance from others.

I have a family. A wife and three young children. I love them dearly. We both work to provide for our children, especially now that they are going to Catholic school in the fall. In my walk with Christ, and my journey to become closer to Him, I’ve prayed a lot, and asked for His grace. With that, I’ve been able to clean up my life and become closer. I know that works do not get us into heaven, but He does want do the work of Christ. But at the same time, no matter how much I try not to sin, I will always be a sinner and never good enough to get into heaven. It is by the death of Christ that paid for our sins. Our belief that he did this for us and that He is the Son of God is our salvation.

So… because I am male, I do have tendencies towards the flesh. I don’t give in and don’t let my mind go there. When I see an attractive woman, I certainly think she is attractive. I have trouble sometimes wondering if I have sinned simply b/c she is there and my mind says she is attractive. I didn’t ask for her to be there and for her to be pretty, but then my mind automatically thinks, “Wow, she’s good looking”, before I can even stop it. I’ve struggled with the fact that my mind goes there and many times it is simply because woman dress so proactively, or simply because they have a nice body. It is at work, while we are out shopping, everywhere. It is not my choice that my eyes happen to come in contact with them, and I don’t want them tempting me. I don’t want my mind going there, b/c it is tempting and sinful. I don’t desire them, but I don’t even want the thought being entertained. I love my wife and want to direct all sexual love towards her. I’ve thought that my soul is in danger and that I should simply find the most remote location possible to get away from all temptation. But I certainly can’t leave my family, but then again, my soul is more important.
 
JoeFreedom said:
no matter how much I try not to sin, I will always be a sinner and never good enough to get into heaven. …

So… because I am male, I do have tendencies towards the flesh. I don’t give in and don’t let my mind go there. When I see an attractive woman, I certainly think she is attractive. I have trouble sometimes wondering if I have sinned simply b/c she is there and my mind says she is attractive. I didn’t ask for her to be there and for her to be pretty, but then my mind automatically thinks, “Wow, she’s good looking”, before I can even stop it…
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Joe, it isn’t a sin to notice what is in front of your eyes. What you mention is observation of something evident to anyone with sight and a brain.The sin is if you allow yourself to dwell on her with impure intentions.

Who of us can truly claim to be good enough for heaven’? Who of us isn’t a sinner?
Salvation, and heaven are God’s gift.

We must continue to strive, with God’s grace and our sincere efforts, trusting in God’s mercy.
 
A few points to think about, maybe take to prayer.

God wants us to be serene, at peace, calm, resting in Him
He knows our struggles.
He wants to help us grow in unity with him…even amid our daily life, and especially in our struggles.
All we can do is to struggle, and to smile, and complain to Him about our weakness.
We will grow in holiness…our desires over time will perfect toward His will for us…AT HIS PACE, not our pace.

Maybe he needs you to struggle a bit more…longer…maybe this experience and struggle will help you teach your sons about chastity and purity somehow. We don’t know.

So we smile…pray…talk to Him as we are presented with images that tempt us…we convert those moments into prayer and unity with Him

“Father, how about a hand here…Your creation is so beautiful…I am tempted… I am just a weak child…a boy really…why do you expect so much love from me…help me more.”

Convert temptations into short immediate even humorous prayers.

Accept God’s pace for your growth in holiness. Adopt a ‘sporting spirit’, one of happy sacrifice and struggle.

Have frequent recourse to Confession. VERY important. The graces received are in proportion to the specificity our our confession. Be blunt, worst sin first, no excuses. Be brief, but specific.
 
I frequently have the same problem and my confessor always makes the joke… she may be beautifull now, but wait to you see what she is like at home:D it is good you are directing your thoughts back to your wife… take your passions and use them for the good and for God…
 
Noticing someone who’s good looking isn’t a problem. I find myself doing the same thing sometimes. It’s when we dwell on it that we can run into problems. Like, with me, I’m single and often times run into a man I’m attracted to. But I have to watch the tendency to desire a relationship due solely on that fact. Yes, there are good looking people out there. We just can’t allow our thoughts to run towards lustful intentions. My biggest stumbling block is being around men who are really caring and understanding. I find myself wanting more, which can become an obsession for me. And that’s unhealthy. When you find yourself being tempted to dwell on a particular woman, ask God to help turn your thoughts away from her, and for His help in being thankful for your wife.
 
Edward, I can identify with your comments about “all we can do is struggle” and “we will grow in holiness… at His pace”.

I’ve come to the conclusion, with prayer, that I will, at least at this time, not be one of those people who are instantly transformed overnight in my spirituality. My journey will be slow and steady.

He has already with his grace, helped me immensely. Overcoming many of my sins. I struggle with them still, but my love for Him, and his grace, is what stops me from sinning many times. I still sometimes struggle to suppress them, but I am a far cry from where and who I was before, by not giving into temptation. I have to fight it constantly, so I always always ask for help from Him, and I continue to, at a slow pace, to grow. But it is not a quick transformation.

I have confessed the worst of my sins and I know that confession should provide us with peace and forgiveness, that those sins are wiped clean, but that is, from a human’s fallible mind, is very difficult to come to terms with. I know we cannot earn God’s grace and that we will never be good enough through works, but I continue to feel guilty for doing the things I have done in the past, even though I have confessed them. I guess I need to continue to ask for grace and peace to leave those things behind and know that they are forgiven.

It is amazing though to know that even though all of the bad things I’ve done, that those things are now wiped clean from my soul, that I have truly repented for them and cry joyous tears that He loves me no matter what I’ve done.
 
JoeFreedom said:
Edward, I can identify with your comments about “all we can do is struggle” and “we will grow in holiness… at His pace”.

I’ve come to the conclusion, with prayer, that I will, at least at this time, not be one of those people who are instantly transformed overnight in my spirituality. My journey will be slow and steady.

He has already with his grace, helped me immensely. Overcoming many of my sins. I struggle with them still, but my love for Him, and his grace, is what stops me from sinning many times. I still sometimes struggle to suppress them, but I am a far cry from where and who I was before, by not giving into temptation. I have to fight it constantly, so I always always ask for help from Him, and I continue to, at a slow pace, to grow. But it is not a quick transformation.

I have confessed the worst of my sins and I know that confession should provide us with peace and forgiveness, that those sins are wiped clean, but that is, from a human’s fallible mind, is very difficult to come to terms with. I know we cannot earn God’s grace and that we will never be good enough through works, but I continue to feel guilty for doing the things I have done in the past, even though I have confessed them. I guess I need to continue to ask for grace and peace to leave those things behind and know that they are forgiven.

It is amazing though to know that even though all of the bad things I’ve done, that those things are now wiped clean from my soul, that I have truly repented for them and cry joyous tears that He loves me no matter what I’ve done.
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Joe, week said.

Don’t worry about feelings and consolations from confessions. Sometimes God gives us these…sometimes not. We don’t know why. We don’t need to need to know why.

The only thing we can know for sure is “if feelings don’t come, they must not be necessary to struggle on”. Otherwise if they were necessary for our sanctity, God would give them to us.

So you can “offer up” your lack of feelings!
 
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