Praying for others...

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Epistemes

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Sometimes I get so tired of praying for other people. I feel like I don’t spend enough time praying for myself. But I feel selfish. Plus, all I ever have to say about myself is, “Please help” or “Have mercy,” but with other people I can pray, “Please convert them” or “Please grant them healing.” Sometimes I feel so self-righteous, thinking that even if I were to die in mortal sins, all my prayers for others might count for something…
 
Epistemes, dear friend, look again at Jesus’ command to “love others as yourself”. Do you see the implied command in that. Jesus is also saying “love yourself”. Pray for others as you pray for yourself

‘Love others…as yourself’

Jesus when You command us to love others as ourselves, You require something more challenging than simply to “love others.” The embedded touchstone in that command is “love your self.”

Many people lack proper self-esteem, making it difficult for them to genuinely value others. However, Scripture exhorts, “value yourself at your proper worth. Who can justify a man who runs himself down, or respect a man who despises himself.” [Ecclesiasticus 10:28-29]

If we do fail to love ourselves correctly, we cannot accept God’s love. Let us never imagine ourselves hidden from Your mercy: ‘“Can anyone hide in a dark corner without my seeing him?’ asks the Lord.” [Jeremiah 23-24]

The concept of rightly loving oneself in order to love others as God’s precious children may be confused with the selfishness that ruins unselfish self-love. It requires us to reject negative self-talk and responses. “If a man is mean to himself, to whom will he be good?” [Ecclesiasticus 14:3].

Growth in Christian self-love is facilitated by “filling your mind with everything that is true, everything that is noble, and everything that is pure and good” [Philippians 4:8] and serving “in works of love.” It is allowing the Spirit to direct your life and then “you will be in no danger of yielding to self-indulgence. What the Spirit brings is…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control.” [Galatians 5:13, 16, 26, 22-23]

Jesus, help me/us to fittingly love ourselves. You do not wish me/us to disparage myself/ourselves but to see myself/ourselves as loved, forgiven child[ren] of God.

A poor self-image may compare to our perception of ‘clouds’. To observers, clouds appear to be impressive, substantial and tangible. However, within themselves the clouds seem damp, insubstantial and misty.

Jesus, let us not belittle ourselves in comparison to others because of our personal uncertainties and inadequacies. Let us live in sincere acceptance of self, that unique gift of Your creative love. help us to see ourselves as loved children of God. Jesus, help me to know that You really love me. Help me to love myself so that I can love You and others love others truly.
 
Confidence in God’s merciful love

God, You command that I forgive and rightly cherish myself. Like many people in human history, I often find it difficult to sincerely and consistently love the ‘self’ that I find mirrored in my consciousness. I know that You can bring me to appreciate the miracle and privilege of my existence!

How can I refuse to love what God loves! You treasure me, as You love and treasure each unique, human person that You create. Yet I need much grace to love this betrayer of my true being and purpose, myself! I betray Your loving creation of me by failing to be fully ‘the person I am created to be’.

You love each person so much that it led to the incarnation of Your divine Son, and to His redemption of humankind. Jesus is Your response to my betrayal of my destiny and me. Yet frequently I am unconvinced or indifferent before these astounding gifts of divine love for me and for every person!

Please give me grace to value each person as Your beloved and eternal gift. Inspire me with faith and gratitude for the gift of myself, for the lives of dear ones and of all people. Grant that these human gifts are shaped by Your love to become everlasting gifts to You, and through You, eternal gifts to each other person.

Through Jesus, You taught us that cheerful, loving mutual service of others leads to fulfilment of Your creative will. Therefore, give me grace to faithfully say ‘yes’ to Your loving purpose by active respect and charity to others and me. Delight Yourself in me by forming me into the unselfish, joyful, helpful and prayerful person You dreamed me to be for You and others’ souls for time and eternity. 1999

Thank you for all your prayers for others, Epistemes. Also never forget your needs before God, beloved child of God.

“God restored Job’s fortunes because he had prayed for his friends. More than that, God gave him double what he had before.” [Job 42:10]
 
Prayer for others is acting in charity. You know what Jesus said about that concerning the Last Judgement.
and as an act of charity, in praying for others not only are you loving others but as Jesus teached in Matthew 25, it is charity towards Him*
And will never be forgotten
“Cease to do evil. Learn to do good, search for justice, help the oppressed, be just to the orphan, and plead for the widow. ***Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” **[Isaiah 1:17-18]
 
Are you familiar with the prayer of Jabez?
1 Chronicles 4:9-10:
“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.”

Asking God for blessings for yourself is not selfish. In fact, it can be just the oppposite. I know that as long as I have food, no one I know will go without. As long as I have a house, no one I know will sleep in the cold. The better you are set in this world, the more you are able to help those around you. Notice the second part of the prayer, secondly asking God’s hand to be with you and steer you on the right path. A person with means and guidance, is charitable to all who are around them.
 
Hi Epistemes,

Many years ago, I read in the Pieta prayer book that our prayers are strongest at the Consecration. So when the priest elevated the body and blood, I would say a prayer for what I wanted most at the time. I don’t ever recall getting what I prayed for then (probably because I was praying for all the wrong things.)

Later I heard about the St. Gertrude prayer, a powerful prayer that was revealed to the saint by Christ to release many souls from Purgatory each time it is said. In early 2008, I got the idea to quit praying for myself at the consecration, and say the St. Gertrude prayer instead. I modified the words slightly. Here’s the prayer I say:

“Eternal Father, I offer You the most precious blood of Your Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today for the holy souls in purgatory, for sinners everywhere, and for all those for whom I pray.”

If there is someone in particular who needs prayers, I will add, “especially n.” The “for all those for whom I pray” is offered as an intention to cover anyone I have ever prayed for or am currently praying for.

I also say this prayer every time I pass a cemetery, see a roadside cross or otherwise hear of someone’s death.

I’ve seen some dramatic results for others and for myself from saying this prayer.

Until recently, I had totally forgotten about how the souls in purgatory and those we’ve released by our prayers will intercede for us as well. I’ve begun to think that perhaps the spiritual progress I’ve made this past year, which is utterly amazing when I recall the awful state I was in prior to 2008, has a lot to do with all those souls praying for me in return.

St. John Vianney said, “If one knew what we may obtain from God by the intercession of the Poor Souls, they would not be so much abandoned. Let us pray a great deal for them, they will pray for us.”
 
Epistemes said:
Sometimes I get so tired of praying for other people. I feel like I don’t spend enough time praying for myself. But I feel selfish. Plus, all I ever have to say about myself is, “Please help” or “Have mercy,” but with other people I can pray, “Please convert them” or “Please grant them healing.” Sometimes I feel so self-righteous, thinking that even if I were to die in mortal sins, all my prayers for others might count for something…
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“Ep”… it’s not selfish for us, to pray for ourselves. Prayer for oneself, is a humble admission… that we need Jesus.

Continue to pray for your family and friends… absolutely. But also, please remember to pray for yourself. God loves you, just as much as those you’re praying for. 😉 Praying for yourself, is like saying to God… “Daddy, please help me”.

My little method… is to simply say, at the end of my prayers for others… “Lord, please grant the same graces and mercies to me, a poor sinner. Amen”. That way, I feel I’ve covered all the bases!

Hope this helps. God bless.

MV 😃
 
Epistemes, you are in my prayers for discernment on this question. 🙂 Nearly every day I pray for myself in this way, when I say the Most Holy Rosary, in between each decade I add (in addition to the O My Jesus prayer), “May the graces of the Immaculate Heart of Mary come down into my soul” (a simpler version in my mind of St. Louis Mary Grignon de Montfort’s counsel to never say a Rosary without asking for graces in **Secret of the Rosary **
montfort.org.uk/Writings/Rosary.html and also “Father, may a reverend fear overtake me (or us). Make me (or us) so aware of your presence, power, and love that I (or we) will be amazed.” With these prayers I don’t feel selfish as I read in St. Maria Faustina’s Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul that a perfect soul can do much more good than several imperfect souls so my santification may one day help others. 🙂 😃 👍

Maybe this excerpt from the Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Avila might also be relevant. :o
I beg you to try to live in such a way as to be worthy to obtain two things from God. First, that there may be many of these very learned and religious men who have the qualifications for their task which I have described, and that the Lord may prepare those who are not completely prepared already and who lack anything, for a single one who is perfect will do more than many who are not. Secondly, that after they have entered upon this struggle, which, as I say, is not light, but a very heavy one, the Lord may have them in His hand so that they may be delivered from all the dangers that are in the world, and, while sailing on this perilous sea, may shut their ears to the song of the sirens. If we can prevail with God in the smallest degree about this, we shall be fighting His battle even while living a cloistered life and I shall consider as well spent all the trouble to which I have gone in founding this retreat, where I have also tried to ensure that this Rule of Our Lady and Empress shall be kept in its original perfection.
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Do not think that offering this petition continually is useless. Some people think it a hardship not to be praying all the time for their own souls. Yet what better prayer could there be than this? You may be worried because you think it will do nothing to lessen your pains in Purgatory, but actually praying in this way will relieve you of some of them and anything else that is left – well, let it remain. After all, what does it matter if I am in Purgatory until the Day of Judgment provided a single soul should be saved through my prayer? And how much less does it matter if many souls profit by it and the Lord is honoured! Make no account of any pain which has an end if by means of it any greater service can be rendered to Him Who bore such pains for us. Always try to find out wherein lies the greatest perfection. And for the love of the Lord I beg you to beseech His Majesty to hear us in this; I, miserable creature though I am, beseech this of His Majesty, since it is for His glory and the good of His Church, which are my only wishes.
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catholicfirst.com/thefaith/catholicclassics/stteresa/way/wayofperfection3.cfm#CHAPTER%203

Hope your weekend is amazing and filled with the love and mercy of God!! 😃

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *
 
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