Praying for Others?

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I’m struggling with something related to prayer. I know that we are commanded to pray. I also know that prayer has helped me deepen my relationship with God and grow in virtue. But I think that’s where the effectiveness of prayer stops.

When we pray for loved ones, or just pray general intercessory prayers at Mass, I don’t see them helping, and I don’t see why they would.

For instance, we can all be sure that it’s God’s will that we all practice chastity in our lives. We can pray for this for a loved one, but it’s really going to come down to that person’s decision to follow or not to follow the will of God. Our prayer is irrelevant. God isn’t going to violate this person’s free will because of our prayers.

So when people say that they will pray for others or tell you that “you’re in my prayers,” that’s nice, but I don’t see that it will actually change anything. God is good and will bless us (in the next world and maybe in this one) if we seek him and seek to conform ourselves to his will. But I don’t believe that God will typically intervene to change the outcome of situations in the material world. Now, miracles do happen, but I’m starting to realize that they’re definitely the exception and not the rule.

Does this make sense? In a nutshell, I find that prayer in which I seek to conform myself to God’s will is effective. Prayer in which I seek an outcome for myself or for others is ineffective. So why do we pray for anything except the knowledge of God’s will and the fortitude to carry it out? Thoughts?
 
faustina.org/diary/excerpts.html
Pray as much as you can for the dying. By your entreaties, obtain for them trust in My mercy, because they have most need of trust, and have it the least. Be assured that the grace of eternal salvation for certain souls in their final moment depends on your prayer. (1777)
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Hi Joe,

I was thinking about what Jesus said, in relation to your post.

This is what I think about, when people come together to pray for each other–that Jesus is there for us when we come together to pray about someone’s intentions.

Here is a link to bible hub, where you can look at different verses from Matthew, Chapter 18:20:

biblehub.com/matthew/18-20.htm:

New American Standard Version
“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”
 
1 Timothy, chapter 2

Prayer and Conduct.

1* First of all, then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone,2 for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. 3 This is good and pleasing to God our savior,
4 who wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.5 For there is one God.

Peace
 
Thanks for the responses so far. Honestly this reaffirms my original thought. We’re told to pray for others, but the effectiveness of this prayer is questionable at best.
 
JoeSchmeau said:
I’m struggling with something related to prayer. I know that we are commanded to pray. I also know that prayer has helped me deepen my relationship with God and grow in virtue. But I think that’s where the effectiveness of prayer stops.

When we pray for loved ones, or just pray general intercessory prayers at Mass, I don’t see them helping, and I don’t see why they would.

For instance, we can all be sure that it’s God’s will that we all practice chastity in our lives. We can pray for this for a loved one, but it’s really going to come down to that person’s decision to follow or not to follow the will of God. Our prayer is irrelevant. God isn’t going to violate this person’s free will because of our prayers.

So when people say that they will pray for others or tell you that “you’re in my prayers,” that’s nice, but I don’t see that it will actually change anything. God is good and will bless us (in the next world and maybe in this one) if we seek him and seek to conform ourselves to his will. But I don’t believe that God will typically intervene to change the outcome of situations in the material world. Now, miracles do happen, but I’m starting to realize that they’re definitely the exception and not the rule.

Does this make sense? In a nutshell, I find that prayer in which I seek to conform myself to God’s will is effective. Prayer in which I seek an outcome for myself or for others is ineffective. So why do we pray for anything except the knowledge of God’s will and the fortitude to carry it out? Thoughts?
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I can understand what you’re saying. That God won’t use force on anyone so why pray for someone?

But there are other ways besides force that God can use. For instance, I have heard any number of testimonies from people who say what a terrible life they were leading. When all of a sudden one day out of the clear blue it struck them what they were doing was not right. And it seemed as if a sudden light bulb went off in their head, and they saw things differently than before, which changed their attitude and their life outlook.

So there are other avenues that God can use to move people to do differently which will coincide with their free choice to act and think in a new way.

God may also cause certain events to happen which also may change the way a person thinks, and because of them, they too will be affected to act differently.

There are also other options that God may bring into play, such as one person meeting another person who will then play an important role in their life which eventually will change that person.

When we pray we should keep in mind that he is CREATOR of galaxies, stars, planets, and this small earth, with me, a tiny tiny thing hardly worth noteing. Yet he controls it all either actively or passively as he deems. God can do something to change our lives without flinching an eyelash, without effort. So yes thru our prayers he will and can do much to change our world and others…if ye but have love and faith, and more importantly…trust that he cares. So that are prayer becomes a prayer and not just a basket of dry words.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
Fred Conty (previous post) is right. God may intervene in our lives, or the lives of others, to guide us in ways that do not violate our free will. He shows us the right path but does not force us to choose it. Why not pray that God may offer that guidance to others?
 
I don’t question the power of God to intervene in subtle or even magnificent ways. But he’ll do that whether or not I pray for this. I just don’t see that God is waiting for my cue to begin his intervention in the lives of others. That’s my point: my intervention is irrelevant.
 
JoeSchmeau said:
That’s my point: my intervention is irrelevant.
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Did you bother to read the replies? Yes, your “intervention” is irrelevant. However, your participation is not. Praying for others is as much for your benefit as the possible benefit for others.
 
JoeSchmeau said:
I don’t question the power of God to intervene in subtle or even magnificent ways. But he’ll do that whether or not I pray for this. I just don’t see that God is waiting for my cue to begin his intervention in the lives of others. That’s my point: my intervention is irrelevant.
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Yes it is true that God can do without us when it comes to changing another person or situation. He really dosen’t need us absolutely.

St. Catherine of Sciena once asked God the same question in her Little Talks with God. “Why do you need me Lord?” He didn’t reply directly to her question but merely asked her to pray for others.

This is one of the mysteries…that God has really given us a role to play in the salvation of others, that our prayers are answered in regard to others especially where grace is needed.

Jesus is our saviour but when it comes to applying graces for salvation, we being one in his mystical body and a part of him, gives us a participation in the role as a priestly people thru our baptism. A priest offers sacrifice to God by his office, and we being priestly people offer to God sacrifice to him for ourselves and for others by being united with the sacrifice of Jesus in our own sufferings. And this is what St. Paul was referring to when he said that we make up was was lacking in the sufferings of Christ.

We offer ourselves with Christ today in prayer and sacrifice, and fulfill our greatest office of priesthood with Jesus. Indeed, he has given us a great and important role in this office which will effect the salvation of others thru charity.

But of course we must realize who and what we are thru our baptism and make this come to life when we pray. The honor he has bestowed on us is just overwhelming when we give it sufficient consideration. How many souls will be there because of your prayers. Those who were bent on rejecting God will be turned around because we took our office seriously and became one with Christ in prayer. Great graces will be given for the most needy who will be in heaven with us because of our prayers. “What you do unto others you do unto me.” Simply because it is his will and way for us to share with him in his greatest act of all time.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.
 
Joe,

I completely get what you’re saying. And I’ve felt the same way. Our priest once said, "God already knows what everyone needs. " I believe (as Bonnie stated) that praying for others benefits US most. It helps me to be less self-centered when I’m thinking of others. Also, any quality time spent praying will inevitably bring us closer to God. Perhaps our prayers for others should be the same as your prayers for yourself. Lord help them to conform to Your Will.

God Bless You.
 
Thanks, folks. I think my questions have been answered. It seems that the consensus is that prayer for others may not be effective, but we should do it anyhow. Frankly this just feels disappointing to me. But maybe it’s just because it has taken me so long to recognize what prayer is all about.
 
The Lord established prayer as one of His plan for accomplishing His will in our world. We are taught to follow Jesus’ example, and He frequently interceded for us through prayer. So if it was a good practice for Jesus, it’s good for us to do too!
 
My experiences at prayer have been the opposite of yours.

James 5: 13 Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He should sing praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick?* He should summon the presbyters of the church, and they should pray over him and anoint [him] with oil in the name of the Lord,15 and the prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. If he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful. 17 Elijah was a human being like us; yet he prayed earnestly that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain upon the land.18 Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain and the earth produced its fruit.

Peace
 
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