Pre-Cana

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Anduril11623

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Just a quick note:

My fiancee and I recently went through the daylong pre-Cana class (well, back in July in Cinci). If anyone has questions about it, like what to expect, or wants to discuss some thoughts they took away from it, I’d be happy to talk a bit.

Anduril
 
Best wishes for your marriage! DH and I did the engaged encounter weekend when we were preparing for our marriage, and we loved it! How was the pre-cana experience for you?
 
Anduril11623 said:
Just a quick note:

My fiancee and I recently went through the daylong pre-Cana class (well, back in July in Cinci). If anyone has questions about it, like what to expect, or wants to discuss some thoughts they took away from it, I’d be happy to talk a bit.

Anduril
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I have plenty of questions…don’t know where to start…😉

1st question: How should we prepare for pre-Cana? Or was there anything that came up in pre-Cana that you felt like you and your fiancee should ahve already been preped for and perhaps were caught off guard??

btw thanks for this thread offering advice. Usually threads are started to ask questions…this is nice :).
 
LittleRose said:
Best wishes for your marriage! DH and I did the engaged encounter weekend when we were preparing for our marriage, and we loved it! How was the pre-cana experience for you?
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It was quite good. I think the most important thing we learned was the difference in personality types and how they affect how you deal with each other, something that had been a source of some friction in our relationship (which is generally otherwise quite friction free). We both would’ve liked to have done the weekend retreat, but both of us had too many time commitments between school and work. How did you like the longer retreat experience?
 
We really liked the weekend retreat setting of the engaged encounter. We did ours at the Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside, CA. There were two married couples and a priest giving talks. One couple had been married for a long time, the other just for a coupld of years, so we got to hear about different stages in the marital relationship. They all had a lot of really good insights.

After each talk, we would have time to journal separately on the topic in quesiton, and then time to share our writing with each other and talk. It was really helpful to us as far as learning to communicate as a couple. We already had a pretty healthy relationship, but I think it matured quite a bit that weekend. It was the first time I really got a feel for what it means to “feel married” I learned a lot about how my husband communicates and what makes him feel loved, and I make a concentrated effort to remember what I learned now that we are married. I think it really helped us to be a better married couple, and it made me even more in love with my husband than I was before. 🙂

We think that maybe, after a few years, we might give the “marriage encounter” weekend a try too!
 
I’m very glad your pre-Cana went well. I went to one a little over 2 years ago 🙂
I was just going to suggest for you (and anyone else engaged or contemplating marriage) to read Church documents/encyclicals on family, marriage, etc. and books by orthodox Catholic authors (like JPII ‘s “Love and Responsibility”, “Theology of the Body”, and numerous writings, Kimberly Hahn’s “Life-giving Love”, Fulton Sheen’s “Three to get Married”, and some of Christopher West’s books).
Even if your pre-Cana was great, it isn’t enough time to cover everything and the more you understand marriage (the sacrament and everything related to it in a Catholic light) before you get married, the better 🙂

Also, its great to review what the Catechism and Canon Law say about marriage 🙂
 
I love this topic!! It is just amazing how many people get married without really knowing what marriage is all about. My husband I went through the pre-cana weekend retreat 5 years ago and we loved it!!! We also had 2 couples,one who was married for a long time and a newly married couple. The experiences they shared was unmeasurable. The older couple is actually the Directors of the NFP program in our diocese and they shared a wealth of information on that! (critically important to marriages). I think one of the most important things we got out of it was how to communicate better and really listen to each other. We loved the journaling part of it a lot. We also read several Catholic books on marriage, the two I would suggest that are pretty easy reading are…Marriage is For Keeps by John Kippley and Marriage a Path to Sanctity by Javier Abad and Eugenio Fenoy. My husband and I both had a copy of these books and read on our own and then would discuss them when we were together. I think what surprised me most was how many engaged couples there had no idea what the churches teachings were on marriage, contraception and so forth. I wish more Christian churches required some type of marriage preparation before letting couples marry, maybe we wouldnt have so many divorces. Best wishes and prayers to each all of those engaged couples out there, and remember its not about the wedding, its about the marriage. Enjoy your day, it goes by so fast and then really enjoy your marriage, it is truley a path to sanctity!
 
one more thing I wanted to add, was though I am sure it is possible to have a good marriage that is of mixed religious beliefs, it is a huge factor and does make things much easier when you are both on the same page!
 
3blessings said:
one more thing I wanted to add, was though I am sure it is possible to have a good marriage that is of mixed religious beliefs, it is a huge factor and does make things much easier when you are both on the same page!
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I’ll second that!

As did 3blessings, DH and I also loved hearing about NFP from the couples who spoke w/ us. The older couple actually had been on ABC for about the 1st 10 years of their marriage (and it nearly destroyed their fertility!) and talked about their difficult transition to NFP.

It was also nice to hear about how couples resolve conflicts and how they come to appreciate each other’s little quirks, even the ones that can be irritating. 🙂
 
my husband and I loved pre-cana. he’s not catholic (non denominational christian) and he was so impressed with how seriously the church takes marrage. his respect for the catholic church grew a lot through that whole experiance. also, we had to listen to a CD talk by Christopher West about birth controle and it was what completly converted both of us on the issue.

than, at pre cana, a couple came to talk about NFP and when it was time, here comes this young man and his wife (she was big and pregnant) and two little ones toating behind them. my fiance (now husband) was laughing so hard when he saw that she was pregnant. it was a sweet laugh though and they were a powerful and beautiful witness for us.

I also liked how they really encouraged us to start praying together as often as we could. we both were already trying to do that, but it was great reinforcement.
 
My husband and I went for the weekend Pre-Cana and loved it! It was time consuming - 2 1/2 days - but so worth it. I still have our materials (from 3 years ago!). I would suggest the weekend if it fits in your schedual.
 
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