Pre-Confession jitters

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Aurelia

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I know the Good Lord meant for the sacrament of Reconciliation to be a source of grace and healing, and not an instrument of torture, but whenever I decide to go to confession I get nervous beforehand–heart pounding, rapid shallow breathing etc. just like an anxiety attack. I’ve never had a bad experience in the confessional, so I don’t know why I should be affected like this. Maybe it’s a holdover from my teen years when I experienced a spell of scrupulousity,
Does anyone else suffer like this?
 
I just started RCIA. I still have some anxiety. But it was even worse about a month ago.

The anxiety was pretty much this. Would I be willing to confess the worst of my sins?

I was questioning myself, just like the young soldiers in “The Red Badge of Courage”. Before they got into their first battle, the big question and many private discussions were would they turn and run away or would they stand and fight?

This is not necessarily recommended: I went to a very beautiful Church (a basilica). There was a small congregation praying the rosary. So I sat down and also prayed. They had Mass. Afterwards, I knelt at the tabernacle for about an hour (maybe a little less). After getting a late lunch, it was almost time for confession. So I went in and told the Priest right upfront – look, I’m only signed up for RCIA so don’t give me absolution. The elderly Dominican Priest quickly understood that I wanted a practice confession. We kept the time short (perhaps 20 minutes). Not enough time to confess everything, but enough time to confess a few biggies. He really was so wonderful. So I felt like it was a good start. The whole day’s experiences sure made me a lot less anxious.

See a more complete description of my wonderful day under
Sacraments > Difficulty Confessing > #13
August 28, 2004, 06:33 PM

Aurelia: the whole thread there may be helpful to you
Sacraments > "Difficulty Confessing"
 
my second graders know exactly what you mean. in fact a great deal of our sacramental preparation is spent first with parents, diffusing their emotions about confession so their conflict is not communicated to their children. Then we begin with the children, so they understand the difference between intentional sin and accidents, and above all understand the Divine Mercy and the love of the Sacred heart of Jesus.

One little boy missed several opportunities for 1st confession due to illness, and we held a special make up class for him and others who needed it. He came out of the confessional and all those waiting in line cracked up when he gave a loud “Whew!” as he ran to his mom.

Seriously, the time in front of Jesus in the tabernacle is the perfect time for examination of conscience, and contemplation of exactly what Jesus is offering us in this sacrament. There you can find the root cause of your discomfort.
scrupulosity?
fear?
personal objection to the priest or method of confessing in your parish?
one thing that is hard to realize is a sort of hidden pride, the “my sin is worse than your sin” syndrome, you hear this kind of discussion among high-schoolers. If this rings a bell it is a matter for spiritual direction.
 
Try going to confession after twenty five years, now that’s something to be nervous about. After posting here and with the help of many beautiful people at this forum I was able to gather the courage. But most of all I have to thank the Blessed Virgin Mary whom I prayed to for guidance and strength and she was with me every step of the way. Yes it’s hard but the rewards outweigh the aprehension you feel and when you hear the most beautiful words ever spoken in a confessional, “I absolve you of all of your sins” , you will wonder why you felt this way. Pray to Mary and she will help you.

:blessyou:
 
I too was a reck…after not going for almost 15 years, I had a “big knot” in my stomach and tears in my eyes, I practised my confession in the parking lot, in the church and then when I went into the confessional my mouth went dry!:o …but I told the priest that it had been a very long time and to please help me along…he was very sympathtic and understanding.
But I still get a knot in my stomach whenever I go! I just pray to the Holy Spirit to give me strength and guidance 😉
 
I’m the same way! I find that the more frequently I go, the less nerve racking it is. :eek:
 
Beg Our Lord to do it for you. You’ll be surprised. You’ll find yourself thinking as you prepare and deliver a difficult confession: WHERE is this **coming **from? – and you’ll know the answer!
 
I have been priviledged to have been given the simplest key to eagerly going to confession.

What is it that you can’t forgive for? Would you love to hear Jesus tell you that you are forgiven? All you have to do is go to confession to have that guilt lifted from your heart.

To me, that is one of the beautiful parts of confession. The other is the grace to avoid temptation. It sometimes takes me three visits to overcome a problem, but I can feel stronger with each visit.

Perhaps reading St. Faustina’s diary would help. Her description of Christ’s mercy is awesome. I highly recommend the book. Of course St, Therese is awesome too. Her view of our God as Father is so wonderful.

May you find your peace to go be forgiven.
 
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Aurelia:
I know the Good Lord meant for the sacrament of Reconciliation to be a source of grace and healing, and not an instrument of torture, but whenever I decide to go to confession I get nervous beforehand–heart pounding, rapid shallow breathing etc. just like an anxiety attack. I’ve never had a bad experience in the confessional, so I don’t know why I should be affected like this. Maybe it’s a holdover from my teen years when I experienced a spell of scrupulousity,
Does anyone else suffer like this?
Click to expand...
Yup:yup: ! Almost all the time! And, I try to go once a month! I’m not really sure why I feel so intense…always have and I’m a convert of 41 years next week…But sure feel great when I come out! I just offer it up and figure it’s part of my unoffical penance…Annunciata:)
 
When I first came back to the church 4+ years ago, I said my first confession in over 25 years - that was definitely a nerve-racking experience. Now I go on a regular basis and don’t get nervous anymore. I know it’s strictly confidential and that the priest represents Our Lord because after all, it is He who is forgiving us of our sins. I feel comfort in being able to come to the Lord with my weaknesses and feel renewed each time the priest gives me absolution.
 
I am really looking forward to my first confession. Now that I have documentation on my Lutheran baptism, maybe it can be moved up. Can’t wait :bounce:

DaveBj
 
Because my family didn’t practice our faith when I was a child I never had to go to Confession in my youth. When I came back to the Church as an adult I went to Confession for the first time. My first time was face to face in the Pastor’s office. It was a General Confession and lasted about 30 minutes. I felt totally comfortable with him, because he is such a kindhearted priest. That was six years ago. After that I didn’t go to Confession that often, but several years ago I started to go once a month, and in this last year I’ve been going once a week.

When I first started going to Confession I was really nervous, and forgot many of my sins while in the Confessional. I kept coming back week after week until I remembered all of them. One time I had an actual panic attack–I broke into a cold sweat and almost fainted in the box. When I came out I was soaking wet and all the folks in line looked at me like “what on earth happened to you in there??”!! I could barely walk and practically crawled over to the closest pew to do my penance. Sweat just poured out of me as I prayed! I have never had a reccurrence of that, thank God!

The more I made myself go to Confession the easier it has become for me to confess. Now it is something I look forward to, because I have grown so much through the penances I have received. It took me a few years of going, though, before I felt this way. Take heart, dear friend! Remember Our Lord Jesus is holding your hand as you go in!
 
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DaveBj:
I am really looking forward to my first confession. Now that I have documentation on my Lutheran baptism, maybe it can be moved up. Can’t wait :bounce:

DaveBj
Click to expand...
I’m an “old” convert of 37 years and I remember the grace and joy of my first confession as if it were yesterday.
To all of you out there on your way home - may your first and all subsequent confessions be a time of grace, peace and opportunity for growth that you will always be grateful for. Thanks be to God for this wonderful sacrament!
Hurry home, DaveBj !!!😃
 
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