Pre-Teen entering the Church

[smty3]

Hello,

My 11 year old daughter will be entering the Catholic Church on June 4th. Our diocese requires all children over the age of reason to receive 3 sacraments that day. Baptism, 1st Communion and Confirmation.

This is a huge deal for my family and we are very excited, but my parish doesn’t seem to be very celebrating of it. So now I am a little confused…

My mother bought my daughter a beautiful 1st Communion dress, we are having a celebration afterwards with all of our friends and family. But I am getting the vibe that we shouldn’t think it is such a big deal. My priest will divert me to the religious education coordinator when I have questions and she is not very approachable and kinda mean.

I just don’t want us to look weird when my daughter shows up decked out in her beautiful white dress and veil and we are all dressed to the nines.

Am I over reacting? What should I expect from this?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Usually adults (everyone over the age of reason) entering the church do so at the Easter vigil. How has your daughter been prepared for this? Has she been going through a form of RCIA? If so, whoever organizes those classes should be able to tell you what the procedure is. I would assume that there will be a meeting for the families at least a few weeks before where questions like this can be answered.

However, in the meantime, do approach the peson your pastor diected you to. She is the person he has delegated the organization to and she’ll know what the other children usually wear, if there is a reception afterwards, etc. Call and make an appointment with her, don’t expect you can just catch her (or the priest) on a Sunday, or that she’ll be available to answer questions during the time CCD is going on.

My prayers are with your daughter during this very special time! Help her to be prepared spiritually, perhaps plan to say a novena leading up to her baptism, confirmation, and First Holy Communion.

 

[Bl_Pope_Pius_IX]

Hello,

My 11 year old daughter will be entering the Catholic Church on June 4th. Our diocese requires all children over the age of reason to receive 3 sacraments that day. Baptism, 1st Communion and Confirmation.

This is a huge deal for my family and we are very excited, but my parish doesn’t seem to be very celebrating of it. So now I am a little confused…

My mother bought my daughter a beautiful 1st Communion dress, we are having a celebration afterwards with all of our friends and family. But I am getting the vibe that we shouldn’t think it is such a big deal. My priest will divert me to the religious education coordinator when I have questions and she is not very approachable and kinda mean.

I just don’t want us to look weird when my daughter shows up decked out in her beautiful white dress and veil and we are all dressed to the nines.

Am I over reacting? What should I expect from this?

Well, hello to you!

I, too, received it this way, though at a slightly younger age. Being a young lad at the time, I wore a suit with a dress vest and a nice tie. As a server, a little more than seven years later, I find it refreshing to see young girls receive in their very best. Then my hopes die when I see them in dirty jeans the week later.

Being from a Catholic-Protestant (divorced) family, it was my choice to be baptized, etc, etc.

We did not, however, have a celebration. Primarily for money reasons. I was busy enough praying with my first Rosary. One of the biggest things I regret is not making a bigger deal of it. This was not just my First Holy Communion, but also the other two thrown in. I wish I had been more reverent and I wish I had received on the tongue.

My dad is a nonpractising Catholic. He says this was the time of my life when the Faith was alive to me, with me, and in me. He says this was the time that made me want to become an Altar Boy and a Priest. I am still discerning!

Any way, God bless you and congratulations!

Pius :knight1:

 

[Phemie]

Hello,

My 11 year old daughter will be entering the Catholic Church on June 4th. Our diocese requires all children over the age of reason to receive 3 sacraments that day. Baptism, 1st Communion and Confirmation.

This is a huge deal for my family and we are very excited, but my parish doesn’t seem to be very celebrating of it. So now I am a little confused…

My mother bought my daughter a beautiful 1st Communion dress, we are having a celebration afterwards with all of our friends and family. But I am getting the vibe that we shouldn’t think it is such a big deal. My priest will divert me to the religious education coordinator when I have questions and she is not very approachable and kinda mean.

I just don’t want us to look weird when my daughter shows up decked out in her beautiful white dress and veil and we are all dressed to the nines.

Am I over reacting? What should I expect from this?

You know, often we get the feeling that the dress is more important than the sacraments the child is about to receive. We can’t get excited about it and it comes across as not caring.

Is she being baptized or being received into full Communion by making a Profession of Faith and being confirmed and receiving First Communion?

If your daughter is being baptized I wouldn’t dress her in white to come to church. In our parish we ask that anyone being baptized (yes, that includes babies) be baptized in regular clothes. Their baptismal garment is presented as it is written in the Rite of Baptism. For children your daughter’s age and for adults that would usually be an alb, unless another white garment is provided by the family - that white dress Grandma bought in your daughter’s case.

Even for regular First Communion and Confirmation we ask only that the children be dressed in clean and modest clothing.

 

[corsair]

Not everyone is received into the church at Easter. In fact in the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, many are catechiszed on an individual basis and can be received anytime the priest feels they are ready.

And, yes, its is a “big deal” in a persons life and for the family. Celebrate it. Invite the parish to join you for a piece of cake in the hall after Mass. Take lots of pictures. Make this a Special Day.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello,
My mother bought my daughter a beautiful 1st Communion dress, we are having a celebration afterwards with all of our friends and family. But I am getting the vibe that we shouldn’t think it is such a big deal. My priest will divert me to the religious education coordinator when I have questions and she is not very approachable and kinda mean.

I just don’t want us to look weird when my daughter shows up decked out in her beautiful white dress and veil and we are all dressed to the nines.

Am I over reacting? What should I expect from this?

I am not sure you are overreacting because I don’t know what your expectations are for the parish, and how they are failing to meet them. I am sure the parish will not dictate in any way how you wish to celebrate with your family, which is right and appropriate.

We always had a celebration on Easter morning for the newly received Catholics, until the parents let me know they thought it was a burden on them to be expected to attend. Right after the Easter Vigil most people are simply too tired for a party–it was nearly midnight here. So we stopped having a parish celebration. Speaking for myself and my colleagues, we are all pretty frazzled this time of year so I ask your charity and forgiveness if one of us was brusque and seemed short tempered in answering your very reasonable question.

Why not simply ask her again what the custom is in your parish, and if there is anything you and your daughter are expected to do. And yes, if she is being baptized, do ask again about specifically what she is supposed to wear to Church and if the children will be changing into their first communion dress after baptism. Every parish has different customs.

please give your daughter a huge “Welcome Home” from me, and all her peers, 18 children her age who were baptized this Easter at our parish.

 

[TheMc]

Hello,

My 11 year old daughter will be entering the Catholic Church on June 4th. Our diocese requires all children over the age of reason to receive 3 sacraments that day. Baptism, 1st Communion and Confirmation.

This is a huge deal for my family and we are very excited, but my parish doesn’t seem to be very celebrating of it. So now I am a little confused…

It’s a big deal! Party!

My mother bought my daughter a beautiful 1st Communion dress, we are having a celebration afterwards with all of our friends and family. But I am getting the vibe that we shouldn’t think it is such a big deal. My priest will divert me to the religious education coordinator when I have questions and she is not very approachable and kinda mean.

If that’s really how you feel, try gently letting the pastor know.

I just don’t want us to look weird when my daughter shows up decked out in her beautiful white dress and veil and we are all dressed to the nines.

Am I over reacting? What should I expect from this?

I would dress up anyways. It’s always appropriate to dress up when going to Mass. Any Sunday or special Mass I wear a sport jacket and bow tie. Even if you look weird, that’s because they aren’t dressing up for Sunday Mass, something that you should always do.