Premarital sex question

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Hello all. I live in a house with my roommate who is in his late 20’s. He is a non-practicing Catholic. I have been trying to get him to come to Mass with me and he is very, very open to it and it looks like my efforts are paying off. We were talking, however, about premarital sex and he said that he doesn’t see that there’s anything wrong with it. I told him about God’s plan for sex and other arguments to back up why it’s wrong but he kept saying if there’s 2 consenting individuals, who is the act hurting? What is the best argument to counter his stance? I guess I don’t want to be too argumentative because I want him to come to Mass and then I figure maybe he will change his stance. Thank you 🙂

Anthony
 
ACanthony said:
Hello all. I live in a house with my roommate who is in his late 20’s. He is a non-practicing Catholic. I have been trying to get him to come to Mass with me and he is very, very open to it and it looks like my efforts are paying off. We were talking, however, about premarital sex and he said that he doesn’t see that there’s anything wrong with it. I told him about God’s plan for sex and other arguments to back up why it’s wrong but he kept saying if there’s 2 consenting individuals, who is the act hurting? What is the best argument to counter his stance? I guess I don’t want to be too argumentative because I want him to come to Mass and then I figure maybe he will change his stance. Thank you 🙂

Anthony
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I think one point that at least makes a lot of sense to me is that sex is the most intimate physical way to show your love (in a proper context, of course) and marriage is the most intimate relationship to enter into, so it just makes sense that the two should go together.

I think it also makes a lot of sense when we think about it rationally. Society’s basic unit is the family. When people have extramarital sex, you challenge the integrity of the family in many, many ways. It could cause jealousy or insecurity in a marriage, children out of wedlock (which has tons of ripple effects), and you simply don’t see marriage as quite as unique of a relationship when there is less that separates it from other previous relationships. Just my :twocents:…
 
Tell him that it hurts both of you. Not only does it destroy one’s innocence if they are virgins but it exposes you to the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases for him and pregnancy for you. Also, I think there have been studies that have shown that those who wait for marriage to have sex are less likely to get divorced. This is not to mention that having premarital sex would be a mortal sin. It sounds as though you two may be in a near occasion of sin by living together. I would suggest that you two reconsider your living arrangements. I do not say this out of judgment but out of concern for you two.
 
Read Is Marriage Necessary by George A. Bartlette, and see if you maintain your stance.
 
Holly3278 said:
Tell him that it hurts both of you. Not only does it destroy one’s innocence if they are virgins but it exposes you to the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases for him and pregnancy for you. Also, I think there have been studies that have shown that those who wait for marriage to have sex are less likely to get divorced. This is not to mention that having premarital sex would be a mortal sin. It sounds as though you two may be in a near occasion of sin by living together. I would suggest that you two reconsider your living arrangements. I do not say this out of judgment but out of concern for you two.
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I’m pretty sure the poster and his roommate are both males, and are in no way physically involved. You might want to try rereading the OP 😃
 
ACanthony said:
Hello all. I live in a house with my roommate who is in his late 20’s. He is a non-practicing Catholic. I have been trying to get him to come to Mass with me and he is very, very open to it and it looks like my efforts are paying off. We were talking, however, about premarital sex and he said that he doesn’t see that there’s anything wrong with it. I told him about God’s plan for sex and other arguments to back up why it’s wrong but he kept saying if there’s 2 consenting individuals,** who is the act hurting**? What is the best argument to counter his stance? I guess I don’t want to be too argumentative because I want him to come to Mass and then I figure maybe he will change his stance. Thank you 🙂

Anthony
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Committing a mortal sin by definition is rejecting God’s love. Do they think God does not care?
 
It hurts any children that would be conceived, either due to abortion or due to being born outside of a loving, married family. It hurts the future spouses of both partners, knowing that something that should have been there’s was given to someone else. It hurts the individuals who open themselves up like that to another person only to find out that that person wasn’t committed to them and now they’re hurt. And most of all, it hurts God when people abuse the gift of sexuality. Is that a long enough list for your roommate?
 
Keep in mind that he is not coming from the same place you are. He doesn’t recognize God’s law or love. He doesn’t recognize some of the important concepts that you do about the sanctity of marriage, the commands of God, or especially Dogmatic Church teaching about today’s controversial topics. This may be a time to just let him visit your Church and and just dialogue about what you see/hear. I wouldn’t worry too much about specific points, especially those areas that are controversial because you could cause him to go in the other direction before he is ever given the chance to experience the authority of the Church and then accept what she teaches.

You have done a wonderful job opening the door for your friend now give God and the Holy Spirit some time to do their work. He doesn’t have to memorize and agree with the entire catechism before he ever attends Mass.

You and your friend are in my prayers. You are doing really wonderful work!!!
 
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