Preparing for engagement?

[live4life]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We are pretty well 100% that we are meant to get married, however, we are both aware our relationship is still developing and we have some struggles we are working on…

Currently we are praying together as often as we can, we make an effort to go to go to weekday mass and confession frequently. We feel we have discussed most of the important moral/family issues which we are on the same page with.

We are going to speak to a priest soon about discerning, but I would like some resources/advice on what other people did when preparing to get engaged.

Did you prepare? Or did you just do marriage prep while engaged? What questions do you think are vital to ask prior to engagement or marriage? Is it important to be open about any family issues? Do you have to overcome all spiritual/physical struggles before taking the next step?

Thanks in advance!! God Bless

 

[Xantippe]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We are pretty well 100% that we are meant to get married, however, we are both aware our relationship is still developing and we have some struggles we are working on…

Currently we are praying together as often as we can, we make an effort to go to go to weekday mass and confession frequently. We feel we have discussed most of the important moral/family issues which we are on the same page with.

We are going to speak to a priest soon about discerning, but I would like some resources/advice on what other people did when preparing to get engaged.

Did you prepare? Or did you just do marriage prep while engaged? What questions do you think are vital to ask prior to engagement or marriage? Is it important to be open about any family issues? Do you have to overcome all spiritual/physical struggles before taking the next step?

Thanks in advance!! God Bless

If you pick up some marriage books, you can get some ideas for stuff to talk about.

There are always going to be some surprises with regard to your future spouse. The important thing is to be good enough about talking about stuff and resolving disagreements that you can work through the surprises.

This is a little tricky, because initially in your relationship, it’s natural for it to be very easy and pleasant to give way to the other person. “Let’s do it YOUR way, muffin!” “No, let’s do it YOUR way, schmoopsiepoo!” That is not really long-term sustainable for the average couple, but it’s hard to see that early in a relationship. I would suggest putting a lot of effort from the beginning into producing win-win solutions wherever possible, because that is the most sustainable approach.

You’ll probably do a questionnaire during marriage prep and then discuss those answers. We found that very helpful, but it’s really just a start. You can find other sources for questions in other places, and I would suggest trying to cover as many areas as possible, although (again) there will always be some surprises. You’re also not going to achieve perfect virtue before you get married. I would definitely suggest being VERY open about family issues and family history.

Best wishes!

 

[AdamP88]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We are pretty well 100% that we are meant to get married, however, we are both aware our relationship is still developing and we have some struggles we are working on…

Currently we are praying together as often as we can, we make an effort to go to go to weekday mass and confession frequently. We feel we have discussed most of the important moral/family issues which we are on the same page with.

We are going to speak to a priest soon about discerning, but I would like some resources/advice on what other people did when preparing to get engaged.

Did you prepare? Or did you just do marriage prep while engaged? What questions do you think are vital to ask prior to engagement or marriage? Is it important to be open about any family issues? Do you have to overcome all spiritual/physical struggles before taking the next step?

Thanks in advance!! God Bless

Generally marriage prep is done with engaged couples only. Not to say that you can’t read some books on marriage to get you started. It’s worth looking at Love and Responsibility, especially the idea of harmonisation when it comes to sexual matters.

It is very important to be open about family issues. You’d be surprised how much your family of origin can form you as a person, you have to be aware of this and your spouse should be too in order to have the understanding necessary to deal with certain issues.

I don’t think one ever overcomes all spiritual or physical struggles. lol