Presenting the Gifts

[rick43235]

Long story short: I was raised in the Lutheran church, married and divorced many years ago. A few years ago I married a Catholic, but we were not married in the church. We are known by the priest and are members of the parish where we attend Mass every week. Neither my wife nor I receive communion.

Last Sunday I was approached by an usher (a relative of mine who knows me and my wife well) and asked if we would take the gifts to the altar during Mass. While I certainly had no problem with it, I was afraid that it might not be “proper” given my marriage situation and the fact that I am not Catholic. He ran off to ask the priest, who said it was OK. I still felt kind of “weird.”

Proper or not?

 

[benedictgal]

Hey, Rick!

My late paternal grandma and step-grandfather were in a somewhat similar situation. My grandmother had gone to Mass for years, even though she was in an invalid second marriage. One time, when I was a tweenager (11-12), we went to Mass with them at their parish. This was back in the 1970s.

The usher chose the three of us to bring up the gifts. Yes, the pastor knew the situation, but, he also knew that my grandma was still steadfast in going to Church (her annulment came through when I graduated from Catholic school-8th grade). There was no scandal involved.

Don’t let this bother you. Bringing up the gifts is not contingent on your current state. You are representing the community that is gathered there for Mass, a community that may include couples who are in your situation. Had you been asked to proclaim the readings or if your wife had been asked to serve as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, then, that would have been a different story.

Let me give you another example. We had a tremendous cantor at the cathedral. The rector and I auditioned her and we both agreed that she was the one after she sang the Ave Maria and the Pater Noster.

However, she was involved in an invalid marriage. Nonetheless, the rector consulted with the bishop and both allowed her to sing. The bishop loved the fact that she could sing in Latin, English and Spanish, which is very rare. The rector liked the fact that she was also a music teacher and helped the children’s choir after the first director left. The cantor never received Holy Communion.

Interestingly enough, the cantor’s young daughter was well-versed in the faith to the point that at five, she knew her responses. The little girl went on to earn a distinction as parish altar server of the year. I believe that the cantor got her marriage issue resolved.

This incident might be a moment of grace for you. Maybe this is the Lord’s way of telling you that you are home, just fix whatever needs to be addressed.

 

[rick43235]

benedictgal,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

 

[puzzleannie]

yes, its fine, anyone may do this, as all present are united in giving their gifts, even those who cannot yet receive communion. RCIA catechumens and candidates may sometimes be asked.