Presuming on God's grace et al

[Richmart]

I have a very strong Catholic faith. I do a decent amount of reading, approaching the esoteric stuff on occasion, like Fr. Groeschel’s Eucharist book. I’m kind of the go-to guy in my circle of middle aged friends and family on all things Catholic. I converse with Jesus all day long. Not in formal prayer, but as you or I would speak. I don’t say this out of egotism.

I really have the feeling he is plesed with me. And I’m not so sure this is a good feeling to have. I don’t want to sound Calvinist or anything. I have a weakness, which I have been fighting for about 10 years. It is a mortal sin, and against the 6th Commandment.

The fight has certainly not been entirely without success. But there have been setbacks. There always are. I have confessed this embarrassing sin literally hundreds of times. I perhaps go to Confession a bit less than I should because of the embarrassing nature of the sin. (and therefore receive the Eucharist less than I should. I also think that the sin of human pride is creeping in there.

I know intellectually that if I die with this or any mortal sin on my soul, I will be sent to Hell upon my death. But I have the strangest feeling that Jesus is pleased with the effort, and I’m not a locutionist or anything but He and also His Mother, have made it clear to me that I will not die with this sin on my soul.

Is that presumption on God’s mercy? He even gave me a prayer to say during Masses at which I could not receive the Eucharist. “Blessed Lord, help me to know You better, to love You more, and to avoid the sin(s) which have kept me separated from You in THIS Eucharist: the Rosary, frequent confession and daily Mass being the means to that end”. When I AM able to receive, one word of the prayer is changed: THIS Eucharist is changed to THE Eucharist.

When I can’t receive, I am not supposed to look at the elevation of the Body and Blood. When I can receive, I am allowed to look after properly bowing. I don’t think these things come from me. It would certainly be the antithesis of what I would do, if it weren’t so clear.

Am I nuts? I am a 54 year old, well educated. Happily married. Not otherwise nuts, but I do think my faith is that of a child. I was away from the Church for many years but when I came back I came roaring back. I feel like I could die for it now. (though I am not particularly looking forward to it)

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[RosaryFan]

My advice to you would be to get yourself to confession more often - maybe once a week to start - and kick that 6th commandment sin once and for all! It is possible and you CAN DO IT, but only with the help of Jesus. Go to confession over and over and over again. Each confession gives you the necessary graces to fight the sin. The more you go, the more graces and strength you receive from Our Lord.

It is presumtuous to assume God is going to keep you around until YOU’RE ready to go. You must make EVERY effort to be ready to go at any time. And by making every effort, that means not keeping away from confession because you are embarrassed. Go. You are doing yourself more harm by not going often enough to kick this habit.