Priest says I need a psychologist

[TeresaAnn]

Ep, do you know anyone who has depression? There are varying degrees of it. I’m sure you know someone right now that is depressed but you wouldn’t know it from your interactions with them.

What do you think of them? Do you have compassion for them? Shouldn’t you give yourself the care you would extend to them?

Do you know you that you absolutely do have the potential to be all those things you want to be if you took the time to care of yourself? You can keep doing what you have doing and go downhill or you can seek out people who have expertise with this very common issue and have the tools or techniques to get you where you want to go in the least amount of time.

Don’t make this bigger than it has to be right now. You don’t know what is going yet, you just know that you are hurting. Make an appointment, just go and talk, be open and honest, ask questions. It may not be as bad as you think. At least you would be moving forward, making progress towards who you know you really are.

I have been there my friend. Love and prayers,

TeresaAnn

 

[LilyM]

Ep :hug3: Trust me, it’s possible that I may sound smart from behind the comfort of a computer screen, in writing (which gives me time to reflect before saying things), but that means precious little. Smart only is as smart does in all situations, and if you saw me when I’m put on the spot your view might very well change.

There are many times, both in reading about peoples’ troubles on these forums and in real life, that I come across situations where I have no idea what to do or say. Where I simply throw my hands up and resign everything to God (heh, maybe that’s the ONLY really smart thing to do). And yes, I have needed help from both psychologists and psychiatrists at times - the thing is THEY HAVE HELPED!!!

So please, if you need the help of a psychologist, join the club - it’s a huge membership. To seek professional help is being sensible, and doesn’t mean you’re a freak any more than seeking the help of an accountant or tax advisor for your financial affairs does - or a real estate agent when you want to buy or sell a house.

 

[wcknight]

Being ill and in need of assistance is far better off than wallowing in sin. You are miles ahead of where you were with your problem with drinking and womanizing.

God never abandons ANYONE. Jesus Himself was tortured and treated miserably, can we expect to be treated any better. No one is without sin and no one is completely ‘normal’. We are all here to learn lessons about ourselves and others.

We all have to rely on God for help. You have come a long way, don’t give up half way home. Life is a long journey to the very end, giving up is not an option. Turning away from sin is the first step, next is trusting and loving God and asking for His help and mercy. St Teresa tells us that we have to TRUST in the Lord to help us and save us from our sinful nature. We can not do it alone.

Your advice and counsel is as valid as ever. You may have insight and experiences that are unique to yourself. God does not give all the answers to anyone. You need to start being more optimistic. Your destiny is eternal life, but to achieve that you need to trust in the mercy of the Lord. That is St. Teresa’s message to everyone. May God bless you and give you hope and courage to defeat all the forces of dakness that ails you.

 

[juliamajor]

Being ill and in need of assistance is far better off than wallowing in sin. You are miles ahead of where you were with your problem with drinking and womanizing.

God never abandons ANYONE. Jesus Himself was tortured and treated miserably, can we expect to be treated any better. No one is without sin and no one is completely ‘normal’. We are all here to learn lessons about ourselves and others.

We all have to rely on God for help. You have come a long way, don’t give up half way home. Life is a long journey to the very end, giving up is not an option. Turning away from sin is the first step, next is trusting and loving God and asking for His help and mercy. St Teresa tells us that we have to TRUST in the Lord to help us and save us from our sinful nature. We can not do it alone.

Your advice and counsel is as valid as ever. You may have insight and experiences that are unique to yourself. God does not give all the answers to anyone. You need to start being more optimistic. Your destiny is eternal life, but to achieve that you need to trust in the mercy of the Lord. That is St. Teresa’s message to everyone. May God bless you and give you hope and courage to defeat all the forces of dakness that ails you.

It’s very easy to say “stay optimistic” when your in the middle of depression. It’s an illness - not a spiritual problem.I’ve been there so I know how difficult it is to worship, praise and love God when you feel nothing.That’s the worse part when you get past sad and instead feel nothing but dead inside.Seeking help and hanging in there until you crawl out of the abyss is the best advice I can give. God is there waiting for you-He didn’t abandon you.It’s the illness - not you and certainly not God that can make you feel separated.Pray as well as you can but I know it is extremely difficult.And don’t be tough on yourself-God loves you and wants you to be whole again.

 

[HappyRevert]

EP,

I don’t know if you’ve done it yet, but I pray that you have done what the priest has asked. Everyone needs help in their life and he must see something where he believes a psychologist could help.

It doesn’t make you any freakier than the rest of us, just human and need of help. Please heed your priest’s advice.

 

[Neil_Anthony]

I now hate myself for sure. I don’t know why God punishes me so.

Now I’ll never be able to get a date with that girl who I go to Mass with.

Now I’m just another imperfect, crazy freak.

Don’t worry about it, all sorts of people see or have seen a psychologist. But they don’t go around telling everyone, thats why you don’t realize how common it is.

Remember that everything happens for a reason. Trust in God and ask him why you have the problems that you need a psychologist for. And may I suggest that you seek out a spiritual director as well, to give you a religious perspective in your self-improvement.

There’s nothing wrong with self-improvement, and thats what therapy is all about.

 

[Epistemes]

If I could sum up my feelings right now, in short, I would have to say that I feel useless to both God and man. I sense that, yes, God is trying to help me so that my emotional issues no longer affect my salvation, but I also sense that I am being put on the backburner, that God is saying, “I don’t want you to even think about delving deeper into the spiritual life until you get you figured out,” which has me even more conflicted.

I feel ashamed because, at the root of my problem, I hold myself to such high standards, especially in the spiritual life, and I’m not meeting those standards. I absolutely detest all these posts *in this very thread *which suggest that I’m some sort of beginner, that I haven’t even passed the purgative stage, that I don’t have the proper aversion towards sin, etc. The truth is, I want to be better than I am, but I’m not…and that hurts.

I feel so very lost and alone, almost abandoned, even though I can conceptually acknowledge that I’m none of the above. I feel like I am now walking in a vast, dry desert, exposed to all the elements, with only the barest of essentials to sustain my spiritual life, and I keep stumbling through the self-medication of sin. The journey just go so much more strenuous for me, like a steep incline, and I have no idea what to do. The feelings of uselessness aren’t helping in deciding, either.

I’ve messaged a couple of people already and stated that I plan on taking a hiatus – at least, a hiatus from posting, especially giving advice - but I don’t know if that’s the best idea. While no one in this forum needs me, I wonder if I don’t need you all.

 

[baltobetsy]

I have no idea what to do.

1. Obey your priest, who made this suggestion with the help of grace of state, and get some help to beat your depression or whatever condition is holding you back.
2. Get over the notion that you should be at a certain point in the spiritual life. There is no shame in being in the purgative stage if that’s where God wants you. Any other desire is nothing but pride. Become as a little child. Pride is one of the biggest obstacles to holiness, as I’m sure you know.

Betsy

 

[tbcrawford]

Hi Ep
sorry to hear you are so upset at the moment.You are a very valuable helpful person on these forums.Just thought you should know.
Life experiences that happen to us can help others so much.Im sorry for your suffering but i know it will help someone else one day if you share it with them.
You do what you want to do pal,but if you do go see a psychologist what yo ugonna lose?
If you dont go you’ll never know.
I still keep you in my prayers my friend
God Bless:yup:

 

[bpbasilphx]

I now hate myself for sure. I don’t know why God punishes me so.

Now I’ll never be able to get a date with that girl who I go to Mass with.

Now I’m just another imperfect, crazy freak.

I’m going to paraphrase what you’re saying to see if I understand it.

You couldn’t get a date with someone at your parish, therefore God is punishing you because you’re less than perfect.

Did I get this right?

Think how this would sound about someone else.

Does it put things in perspective for you?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, but your thinking is self-defeating.

 

[kage_ar]

Romans 9 helps me, when I get angry at God for putting me in the body of a sideshow freak:

20* But who are you, a man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me thus?” 21* Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for beauty and another for menial use?

Psalm 139 also:

1 O LORD, thou hast searched me and known me! 2 Thou knowest when I sit down and when I rise up; thou discernest my thoughts from afar. 3 Thou searchest out my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. 5 Thou dost beset me behind and before, and layest thy hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it. 7 Whither shall I go from thy Spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, thou art there! If I make my bed in Sheol, thou art there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there thy hand shall lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Let only darkness cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to thee, the night is bright as the day; for darkness is as light with thee. 13 For thou didst form my inward parts, thou didst knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise thee, for thou art fearful and wonderful. * Wonderful are thy works! Thou knowest me right well; 15 my frame was not hidden from thee, when I was being made in secret, intricately wrought in the depths of the earth. 16 Thy eyes beheld my unformed substance; in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. 17 How precious to me are thy thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand. When I awake, I am still with thee. * 19 O that thou wouldst slay the wicked, O God, and that men of blood would depart from me, 20 men who maliciously defy thee, who lift themselves up against thee for evil! * 21 Do I not hate them that hate thee, O LORD? And do I not loathe them that rise up against thee? 22 I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any wicked* way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! *

 

[Shin]

Hey old chap, counseling is great stuff if you get a good counselor.

A whole ton of people have done it, it’s pretty ordinary to need to go to one life being like it is. Been there, done it myself.

Still at the very beginning here too. Been there for… a whole number of years… keep finding out new stuff I have to get change and get rid of, or things I tried to avoid having to deal with have to be dealt with. You dig stuff up you ignored for years, had blinders onto… objectively it was a problem… subjectively, you covered it up… and eventually one day you pull it out and realize, “That was what was keeping me back!” and then again, on to the next one…

But confession, getting rid of things, and a continual change of attitude about what makes you happy (spiritual instead of worldly), keeps you moving forwards.

So don’t go to seed in a cave. Fight those feelings head on, and air things out for the sake of God. Toss everything, everything you need to toss in attachments to get a clean conscience. With a fight you can get those feelings of perfect repentance going and turn back to Him completely. Live the pure life. I want to perfect, I want to be a saint, and I know what it takes is prayer, interior knowledge, and will.

There’re so many habits of virtue to learn to keep up that kind of life, that we often can’t all at once keeps us humble.

And pray to be able to do it. Because without grace you cannot even have the willpower to do what you need to do.

‘The Apostle commands us to rejoice, but in the Lord, not in the world. For, you see, as Scripture says, whoever wishes to be a friend of this world will be counted as God’s enemy. Just as a man cannot serve two masters, so too no-one can rejoice both in the world and in the Lord.’

St. Augustine

 

[brigid12]

If I could sum up my feelings right now, in short, I would have to say that I feel useless to both God and man. I sense that, yes, God is trying to help me so that my emotional issues no longer affect my salvation, but I also sense that I am being put on the backburner, that God is saying, “I don’t want you to even think about delving deeper into the spiritual life until you get you figured out,” which has me even more conflicted.

Having to figure ourselves out before we delve any deeper into the spiritual life is what God asks of all of us. That is soooooo very hard and painful! Yes, I too have seen psychologists and psychiatrists - I’ve become a better person with each person I become vulnerable to and it’s more the norm in this society than not, now. You don’t need to be useless at all. You are feeling tremendous pain - that is obvious, so offer it to Him for souls. Mother Angelica says, “If God sends (allows) you tribulation - you tribulate!”

I feel ashamed because, at the root of my problem, I hold myself to such high standards, especially in the spiritual life, and I’m not meeting those standards. I absolutely detest all these posts *in this very thread *which suggest that I’m some sort of beginner, that I haven’t even passed the purgative stage, that I don’t have the proper aversion towards sin, etc. The truth is, I want to be better than I am, but I’m not…and that hurts.

You are no more a beginner than I am and we both are beginners compared with what He has in mind for us. Prayer/spiritual growth isn’t often a linear construct. I know that I have been in the/a Purgative Stage many times.

I feel so very lost and alone, almost abandoned, even though I can conceptually acknowledge that I’m none of the above. I feel like I am now walking in a vast, dry desert, exposed to all the elements, with only the barest of essentials to sustain my spiritual life, and I keep stumbling through the self-medication of sin. The journey just go so much more strenuous for me, like a steep incline, and I have no idea what to do. The feelings of uselessness aren’t helping in deciding, either.

St. Therese can help you so much - she’s been there (as, of course, were many of the Saints along with Our Lord). She had to learn the humility to let Him take care of her even when she felt she could do it herself. She wanted it all and immediately (as did St. Augustine). You’re in good company!

I’ve messaged a couple of people already and stated that I plan on taking a hiatus – at least, a hiatus from posting, especially giving advice - but I don’t know if that’s the best idea. While no one in this forum needs me, I wonder if I don’t need you all.

Some days you may want to post or to lurk and others you won’t - but please pray for us, esp. me. We’re praying for you and care.

 

[Epistemes]

Like the deer that yearns
for running streams,
so my soul is yearning
for you, my God.

My soul is thirsting for God,
the God of my life;
when can I enter and see
the face of God?

My tears have become my bread,
by night, by day,
as I hear it said all day long:
“Where is your God?”

Deep is calling on deep,
in the roar of waters:
your torrents and all your waves
swept over me.

By day the Lord will send
his loving kindness;
by night I will sing to him
praise the God of my life.

I will say to God, my rock:
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning
oppressed by the foe?”

Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in God; I will praise him still,
my savior and my God.

 

[Sheeniac]

I now hate myself for sure. I don’t know why God punishes me so.

Now I’ll never be able to get a date with that girl who I go to Mass with.

Now I’m just another imperfect, crazy freak.

I have had both a therapist and a psychiatrist. If you’re an imperfect, crazy freak, what on earth does it make me?

Needing help doesn’t make you bad, nor is it a punishment from God. You are unhappy because you are still at the purgative state. I don’t even know where I am in the journey. For 25 years, I was an atheist, steeped in sin. Now I have finally opened my eyes to God, love him, emulate Christ, and find that I am still steeped in sin. It’s our fallen nature at work.

If your priest thinks you are depressed, then you need to get help, possibly even medication. Medications don’t make you “happy” - I experience all emotions and moods non-medicating people do. What they do is give you a solid ground on which to stand, and dust yourself off.

I went to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and it helped immensely. Then one day I was reading an older (pre V2) book on Christian mental health (written by a Catholic doctor) and what did I see given as advice? All that I had learned in CBT! So take heart, there is hope.

 

[bpbasilphx]

Keep in mind that clinical depression (if that is what you are suffering from) is a PHYSICAL disease.

Among other things, messages don’t get through easily from nerve to nerve. That is in itself reason to make you feel bad, without being able to pin the cause down as to why you are.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I don’t feel like praying. I’ve turned my back on God and it feels like he’s turned his back on me too. I’m ashamed to even approach him. I’ve simply reverted back the primordial, precarious spiritual platform I stood so shakily upon one year ago, ignoring all the lights and revelations God has given me along the way, allowing to me to progress. None of that matters right now, and I will not be sensible. I am little more than a melodramatic child, thus I shall be.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, ya know? I was supposed to be in need of some psychologist, life wasn’t supposed to be this horrible, I was supposed to feel so alone and agonized. I was supposed to be so much better than I am. I was supposed to be able to provide clever, helpful aphorisms like withwind or Shin, or just be smart like LilyM, or be spiritual like beckycmarie, or kind like Trishie, but instead I’m just me - I’m this guy who is a depressed narcissist with low self-esteem, and I can’t love that person. That’s not who I was supposed to be. God tricked me. Instead of helping to progress past the purgative stage into the unitive stage, he’s made me so much worse than I was. I was better off going to bars and getting drunk and going to strip clubs and eating fatty foods all the time. That person never had to go to a psychologist, was never stigmatized by not being normal.

I’m nobody, and no one should listen to what I say. All these stupid threads where I pretend like I can give advice, no one should listen to me. I’m just some crazy, messed up guy with a horrible relationship with God.

The only friend I have is the Little Flower.

Are you my twin? I could have said all those things and more.

You will get through this. God doesn’t trick us, but from our limited perspectives it may seem that way when we are at a low point, or throwing a hissy, or whatever.

If you go to a counselor try to find one affiliated with the church. Beware of secular humanists who will try to encourage your it’s-all-about-me behavior.

Listen to tapes or CDs with uplifting and Godly content. Find someone worse off than you and offer help!

And be aware you might not feel this down tomorrow. Moods are just that: moods. Entertaining despair will only breed more despair yet I KNOW how tough it is to claw your way out of that pit.

 

[spiritualunity]

I was told years ago by a priest that I needed therapy. Well, I had therapy years before i ever came back to the church. I told the priest I know myself and what I think and feel, what I need is the sacrements so I can have the grace to stop some habitual sins I could not stop on my own. So, he patiently and sometimes not so patiently heard my confessions almost weekly for 3 yrs. He said,you know,most of what you confess is never mortal sin,so you do not need to come to confession so often. I said, I do need to come so often so I do not fall back into mortal sin now that God has given me the grace to get out of it. And I will come as often I feel I need to.
The last 2 months or so before I moved out of state and the priest knew I was moving,he said to me… you have grown very much spiritually in these past years and it is good to see this because I do not see this often.
God will guide us,and even Priests are human. Now I have a wonderful priest God has blessed me with. And now, in retrospect, that priest also needed me to speak up to him in a nice but firm way. God often puts people in my path,all my life,that I speak up to,and later find out why.
Please do not let anyone have that much control or power over you. Also, there are good reasons why everything happens in your live. Pray for faith and trust in God’s will for you. God IS in control even though we do not see it. God is like the wind,we know it is there and sometimes it stirs up and we feel it and then there are times there are hurricanes and we really are aware of God because God wants to get out attention. And often those hurricane times are very painful times. Hold on to Jesus on the cross,because that is what will give you what you really need to get through life and obstacles.
I know you have a big heart. So do I. So, you can feel more deeply sad and hurt then those who do not have such a big heart. But,your heart will led you to God.
I will always pray for you.ALWAYS!
God Bless you, Spirit

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

If I could sum up my feelings right now, in short, I would have to say that I feel useless to both God and man. I sense that, yes, God is trying to help me so that my emotional issues no longer affect my salvation, but I also sense that I am being put on the backburner, that God is saying, “I don’t want you to even think about delving deeper into the spiritual life until you get you figured out,” which has me even more conflicted.

I feel ashamed because, at the root of my problem, I hold myself to such high standards, especially in the spiritual life, and I’m not meeting those standards. I absolutely detest all these posts *in this very thread *which suggest that I’m some sort of beginner, that I haven’t even passed the purgative stage, that I don’t have the proper aversion towards sin, etc. The truth is, I want to be better than I am, but I’m not…and that hurts.

I feel so very lost and alone, almost abandoned, even though I can conceptually acknowledge that I’m none of the above. I feel like I am now walking in a vast, dry desert, exposed to all the elements, with only the barest of essentials to sustain my spiritual life, and I keep stumbling through the self-medication of sin. The journey just go so much more strenuous for me, like a steep incline, and I have no idea what to do. The feelings of uselessness aren’t helping in deciding, either.

I’ve messaged a couple of people already and stated that I plan on taking a hiatus – at least, a hiatus from posting, especially giving advice - but I don’t know if that’s the best idea. While no one in this forum needs me, I wonder if I don’t need you all.

Who said that? No one here. We need you as much as you need us. And I think we all have to crawl through the desert now and then.

 

[Psychotheosophy]

I don’t feel like praying. I’ve turned my back on God and it feels like he’s turned his back on me too. I’m ashamed to even approach him. I’ve simply reverted back the primordial, precarious spiritual platform I stood so shakily upon one year ago, ignoring all the lights and revelations God has given me along the way, allowing to me to progress. None of that matters right now, and I will not be sensible. I am little more than a melodramatic child, thus I shall be.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, ya know? I was supposed to be in need of some psychologist, life wasn’t supposed to be this horrible, I was supposed to feel so alone and agonized. I was supposed to be so much better than I am. I was supposed to be able to provide clever, helpful aphorisms like withwind or Shin, or just be smart like LilyM, or be spiritual like beckycmarie, or kind like Trishie, but instead I’m just me - I’m this guy who is a depressed narcissist with low self-esteem, and I can’t love that person. That’s not who I was supposed to be. God tricked me. Instead of helping to progress past the purgative stage into the unitive stage, he’s made me so much worse than I was. I was better off going to bars and getting drunk and going to strip clubs and eating fatty foods all the time. That person never had to go to a psychologist, was never stigmatized by not being normal.

I’m nobody, and no one should listen to what I say. All these stupid threads where I pretend like I can give advice, no one should listen to me. I’m just some crazy, messed up guy with a horrible relationship with God.

The only friend I have is the Little Flower.

Psychotherapy can be helpful.

Pray to the Little Flower,
She sees something good in you that you don’t see.
And how much more good does God see in you?
Is the Little Flower greater than God?