Priests who are just far too busy to see you!

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Dear friends

I have noticed that whenever I need to speak with a Priest or see a Priest for any reason that they always complain how busy they are and make you feel like a hinderance. I have never gone to a Priest with anything trivial, but have noticed that the case is always alot of huffing and puffing and looking at their watch!! They also do this to others so I’m not a person who pesters the Priest and always knocking on their door!🙂

In the past I have tried to speak to a Priest on important matters usually involving making a confession and they have ALWAYS been too busy, well if they are too busy at that present moment, why don’t they say I can’t see you now but I will make an appointment for you, but no they just huff and puff and leave you feeling like a real trouble and a nuisance. Several in my Parish have noted this and it really makes you feel like not approaching a Priest at all.

I know they are busy and have other matters to attend to that is not directly dealing with the laity, but are parish council meetings and courses they go on more important than their ministry to Christs flock???:confused: I can’t imagine Christ Jesus ever telling anyone that He is too busy to see you and then to go on and moan and complain about all He has to do!!!

Have any of you noticed that this happens to you. Do you feel that your Priest is too busy for you.?

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Dear Teresa,

I suppose it depends on whether we catch them before or after a mass on the cuff, or if we make an appointment. My pastor has never refused a conference with me when I call the rectory and schedule it.

OTOH, I know personally a few people who left the parish, and pray God they did not leave the Church, because the pastor did not visit their sick family member in the hospital. They felt really slighted at a time when they were in need of comfort, and expected that the priest should be there for them.

One lady told me on the phone she does not go to church any more because Father did not CALL her when he noticed she was not coming to mass. She had been ill and unable to attend mass, and NO she did not call and ask for the sacrament of the sick or to be put on the prayer line. Nothing I said soothed her indignation. I found out that she told several parishioners, and one of them informed Father. He did bring the sacrament to her and asked why she did not phone him.

With the shortage of priests, I believe they really are THAT busy. Our pastor can pray up to four masses on any given Saturday - one A.M. and one vigil, plus a funeral and a wedding. Of course, there is the blessing at the funeral home, and the gravesite, and they often attend the wake. Just for starters. Sundays are even busier with a possible baptism after 3 masses.

In one former parish, the pastor was also assigned by the Bishop as administrator of the entire vicariate. Some are moderators for Charismatic activities, scouts, missions, and often serve at other parishes for healing masses and communal penance services. Our pastor is involved with the “golden agers” as well, and gives instruction to the altar servers, and classes to RCIA, etc.

How do I know? I was parish secretary and saw with my own eyes. I hope this helps soothe your anxiety somewhat, and I suggest that you make an appointment, telling the secretary how much time you may require so she can slot it in his book. 🙂

God be with you,
Carole
 
It’s disappointing the priests you know choose to act put out when you ask to speak to them. You’re right; priests are sheperds of their flocks and need to take care of them with concern and compassion. But they are still human and most are extremely busy with much more responsibilities than many US parish priests had in years past. Here’s an article that my diocesan newspaper ran a few years ago that sheds some light on the busy schedule and expectations placed on parish priests:

theleaven.com/archives/feb03.html#priestspeak

Again, it’s not a cop-out for how your priests may have treated you. But I think there certainly is a lack of understanding on the part of many of the laity to the demanding vocation and work priests have.

I attended a Catholic college sponsored by a religious order, so there was never any shortage of a priest to talk with, give Confession at the drop of a hat, have spiritual direction, etc. But I admit feeling guilty asking my parish priest for spiritual direction knowing how busy they are. My priest, God bless him, just smiled when I told him that and said he was no busier than most people.
 
This has been frustrating to me, because it seems that nowhere offers confession around here at the time it is scheduled for the parish; usually before the Saturday vigil. I’ve gone to that mass early many time with the intention to go to confession (I
prefer Sunday mass when possible), and the priest is no where near the confession room until about five miutes before mass starts, when the bulletin says that it will be available an hour before mass.

Unfortunately, I feel that I need more than five minutes fto confess my sins. Confession still makes me feel like a dentist visit, or worse, and knowing that I will be cuasing the mass to start late if I confess what I need gives me even more anxiety. I understand they are busy, but I still think this sacrament is important, even though they argue that the lack of interest in the parish makes it difficult for them to allocate an full hour a week to a sacrament that many will not attend, when they have so many duties pressing for their time. I thought it would be more available during Lent, but that has not been the case.

I called a church office once and asked if I could make an appointment for confession and the woman told me that they have confession on Saturdays. I said I showed up there and the preist was not available, and she ssiad it was unusual that something msut have come up and he’d be there definitely the next week, but he wasn’t. She also said at the time…unless it’s something really important that you feel can’t wait, but he is very busy this week.

He is the only priest in the county. When she puts it into the context of “really important,” I think of all the people that must be trying to speak to him becuase their marriages are falling apart or their loved ones are dying or any number of grave problems which I don’t have and it makes me feel that I am too unimportant to ask for time from him.
 
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goravens:
Here’s an article that my diocesan newspaper ran a few years ago that sheds some light on the busy schedule and expectations placed on parish priests:

theleaven.com/archives/feb03.html#priestspeak
Click to expand...
Wow, I read that site and it changed my life (seriously). I never realized how terrible the shortage is or how busy the priests are. May God help them! It made me want to get involved in a parish (which unfortunately I cannot do at the moment 😦 , due to lack of transportation).
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serendipity:
He is the only priest in the county.
Click to expand...
Wow, and I thought I had it bad! I highly recommend reading that link from goravens.

God bless,
Lily628
 
Dear All Friends

Thank you for your replies. Yes of course you are right our Priests are only human and i do realise how busy they are.

I think I found it disheartening to be treated so brusquely. I do expect to be told ‘now is not a good time’ I think I did not expect such arrogance and shortness of words. Maybe that was naive of me and I don’t hold bad feeling and do realise the stress and pressure our Priests are under, it just that the laity does need their Priests and cannot always make that hour slot once a week for confession, some sins a person cannot bear on their soul for one minute longer and once a person has raised the courage to make a good and honest confession, it is very hard to raise that again after a re-buff, it has nothing to do with pride.

I was forced to make a confession walking in the street with an older Priest and was given absolution before the passing shoppers! That was hard dear friends to do and I had no pride when I made that confession I can assure you!!!

Well anyway I do hope and pray we have more vocations to the Priesthood because the lack of Priests is really taking it’s toll on the laity and their requirements!

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
I have worked with pastors in 4 parishes in 3 dioceses in 3 different parts of the country in the last 12 years. All but one is responsible for multiple parishes or missions, and all have additional diocesan assignments that used to be full time paid positions with support staff, and now are part time responsibilities, added to the parish load, with no additional compensation other than mileage expense (inadequate). All suffered health problems directly related to job stress, 3 had heart attacks and bypass surgery, one a stroke, one battled cancer, two had nervous breakdowns, and one died on the road travelling between assignments late at night (he logged over 200 miles a day on average trying to meet the demands on him). Our current pastor was given a new car when he was given his diocesan appointment, because it involves daily commutes of up to 130 mile round trip, in less than a year he has put 60,000 miles on it.

If we did not have one part time and one retired deacon no one would be available for funerals, weddings or baptisms. He has 5 Sunday Masses here, 2 at the Mission, Span/Eng (2 daily Masses here and mission parish alternate, sometimes it is at nursing home, hospital or prison - there are 5 prisons and jails in our parish boundaries, and 4 hospitals). “Sick call” is supposed to rotate but it can be a nightmare to locate someone in this town for last rites. People refuse to call the priest when the person first gets sick or is scheduled for surgery, they wait till he is on his death bed and get mad when secretary can’t find a priest in 5 minutes. I could go on. All these guys are over 60, and I only know of maybe a dozen under 50 in our diocese.

Get used to it folks, imagine priestless Sundays, and conditions similar to mission countries, when the priest gets there 3-4 times a year.
 
Dear All Friends

Thank you for your replies. Yes of course you are right our Priests are only human and i do realise how busy they are.

I think I found it disheartening to be treated so brusquely. I do expect to be told ‘now is not a good time’ I think I did not expect such arrogance and shortness of words. Maybe that was naive of me and I don’t hold bad feeling and do realise the stress and pressure our Priests are under, it just that the laity does need their Priests and cannot always make that hour slot once a week for confession, some sins a person cannot bear on their soul for one minute longer and once a person has raised the courage to make a good and honest confession, it is very hard to raise that again after a re-buff, it has nothing to do with pride.

In the end I made the confession walking in the street with an older Priest and was given absolution before the passing shoppers! That was hard dear friends to do and I had no pride when I made that confession I can assure you!!!

Well anyway I do hope and pray we have more vocations to the Priesthood because the lack of Priests is really taking it’s toll on the Priests and on the laity and both of their requirements!

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
we are all going to have to get used to the idea that the sacraments may not be “on tap” in the future as we have been used to. for practical advice, know the confession schedule of all neighboring parishes, shrines, religious houses, and plan your confessions for times of retreats, communal penance services etc. Confession is not spiritual direction or counselling, make an appointment or find another person for those things, of course there are times when you simply must have confession before communion, call all tell the secretary you must have an appointment with Father before Sunday if at all possible. She probably has a hard time judging who just is calling with questions or complaints and who has a real need. Don’t need to give her the story but tell her there is a “pressing pastoral need”.
 
Dear friend

Priests secretary? what is that? we do not have one, nor have ever had one. Nothing like that has ever existed in the Parish I am in in the UK. You call if you manage to get the Priest at home you make your request. I was praying before the Blessed Sacrament at the time (which you can only do if you ask the Priest to let you in to do as the church is always locked outside of Mass times, I am not even convinced the Priest is happy to let me in to pray before the Blessed Sacrament, but this is something I have to do. There is no-one else who asks to do this, I am convinced I am an annoyance in this also) and the urge and courage came to me by the grace of God and I went to find him in his house for absolution and he rebuffed me. I asked are you busy, he said he was and was very short and arrogant about it, I saw him at Mass the sunday following and he said he really was busy, i said ok no worries, I then felt concerned he felt bad and approached him to say not to be, he was most arrogant and rude again. You see I don’t want to be a hinderance and now will not approach him again.

I will ask the Sisters at the nearest Convent if I can pray before the Blessed Sacrament there.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Jeepers, Teresa . . .

I can’t imagine a parish without a secretary. No wonder your priest is so frazzled! Has he not heard of this, or does he just not desire to have one? My heavens - that would certainly take a lot of pressure off him if he doesn’t have to answer the door and every phone call that comes through. Does he do his own bookkeeping also?

Our secretaries pay salaries, rectory bills, journal the expenses and income, handle the bulletin, schedule meetings, record mass requests, get the mail at the post office, do the banking, and a host of other duties that relieve the pastor. Of course this will vary, depending upon each parish requirement. I remember having to meet with the auditors to go over the books, but I understand a lot of this is computerized and performed through the diocese now.

You may need to put a bee in his bonnet to get organized.

Kind regards,

Carole
 
When I first started to read this thread I was remembering some of my percieved shortcomings of the priests at my parish. We have a K-8th school, a chapel ( was the old church) that seats 800 and a large beautiful Church. The Pastor came here about 10 years ago when plans for the new church were being formed. There are about 3500 families in the parish. We have two priests and there is always a “visitor” priest back from the missionary fields.

Some three years ago I went to confession at the announced time on Friday and on Sat. I repeated that the next week. There were no priest in any confessionals. So I wrote a letter asking when we could go to confession. No response. I go to the rectory and talk to the lady in the church store. She said I would get a phone call from the secretary. A few days later I got the call. I said I wanted to go to confession. She said come to rectory a few days later. (All this had been going on for 3 weeks)

Well I was there 10 min. early. I could see the pastor walking in the hallway. After about 1/2 hour the secretary said the pastor would see me. When asked, I said no one in the confessionals and I wanted to confess. He had a sheath of papers in his hand. He said “Well, get on with it”. I dropped in front of a chair, and confessed. I got up and he was looking at me with a hard look. I told him thank you, and left. Penance was one" Our Father." I thought that wasn’t enough, but I accepted it.

All this could have been avoided if the priest was at confession when it was scheduled.
 
Teresa and Serendipity,

How much alike we are in spirit! I remember the early days of my conversion when I was not strong enough to avoid sin. I suffered great interior pain at the thought of not being able to receive on Sunday, so confessions were a weekly event in those days.

My piety and zeal to keep a clean heart, even though it was not Saturday, often caused me to travel 30 miles from home to a ghetto area where there were hourly confessions each day of the week. Actually, it was the Capuchin Monastery in Detroit where Blessed Father Solanus Casey was a porter. To me, this was a wonderful blessing, but I realize a similar privilege is not available to any of us in our day.

So what now? I fully believe in the act of perfect contrition which I have no doubt both of you are saying. Anyone so anxious about confession is a person who is deeply sorry for offending God, and I trust He sees the repentance and firm purpose of amendment in your heart. Should you die in such a state, I believe God is merciful, even if you haven’t gone to confession. St. Therese expressed in her autobiography an abounding trust in God’s mercy, and I think St. Faustina was also one who knew it well.

May God bless you with insight and his quiet peace.
Carole
 
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Joysong:
Jeepers, Teresa . . .

I can’t imagine a parish without a secretary. No wonder your priest is so frazzled! Has he not heard of this, or does he just not desire to have one? My heavens - that would certainly take a lot of pressure off him if he doesn’t have to answer the door and every phone call that comes through. Does he do his own bookkeeping also?

Our secretaries pay salaries, rectory bills, journal the expenses and income, handle the bulletin, schedule meetings, record mass requests, get the mail at the post office, do the banking, and a host of other duties that relieve the pastor. Of course this will vary, depending upon each parish requirement. I remember having to meet with the auditors to go over the books, but I understand a lot of this is computerized and performed through the diocese now.

You may need to put a bee in his bonnet to get organized.

Kind regards,

Carole
Click to expand...
Dearest Carole

No dear friend our Parish Priest does not have such support, he has no secretary, he has a cleaner and someone to prepare food for him, but he has no administrative support as you mention which is in my mind silly, if he had this he would find most tasks in the day easier. Such a lady could make apppointments for him knowing his diary and course of his working day.

I don’t know but it just seems so badly organised and so being people end up feeling a hinderance where they may not actually be. No-one dies in accordance with man’s laws but by God’s call and so a Priest within the Diocese must be available to give last Sacraments, this would be so easily assigned if there was a rota and if there were secretaires within each parish, but there are not and as such Priests are left to answers phones and deal as matters arise…at the end of the day it is poor management of issues rather than the issues that arise…in so being all lose out, Priest and laity

God bless you and much love and peace to you always Carole

Teresa
 
Dear friends

You know what Trust in God’s mercy for you and do not worry if you cannot seek a Priest for you, do not worry about this, trust God’s mercy and love for you

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Dear Teresa,

Perhaps you could volunteer to come in a couple times a week to do clerical work for the priest? You would definitely get to talk to him them, and likely relieve some of his stress.

Just a thought, but I know we’re all busy.
Lily628
 
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