privacy

[Kelfa28]

well, what you describe sounds fine.

but I think there are bigger problems if I am suddenly being asked for my passwords out of the blue. like other have mentioned, if one spouse feels the need to constantly check through the others messages, there are issues

You would clearly have bigger problems of trust if this is happening.

For the record, I do check my husband’s email. Usually it’s for one of two reasons:

One, he is busy doing something around the house or doing something with the kids and I happen to have a second to check my email…I’ll check his too and let him know if anything pops up.

Two, he’s working and needs to tell me something. He’ll send me an email from his work desk to his civilian email. They aren’t allowed to have cell phones with them.

I’ve never kept a password from my husband…nor has he kept one from me. It’s hard to explain why, I guess.

Our lives are so entangled with each other that it isn’t practical to keep passwords from each other anyway.

We share all of our electronic devices, bank accounts and we have the same site for pay stubs and our retirement because we are both in the military.

So, completely impractical to keep passwords from each other.

 

[pensmama87]

You would clearly have bigger problems of trust if this is happening.

For the record, I do check my husband’s email. Usually it’s for one of two reasons:

One, he is busy doing something around the house or doing something with the kids and I happen to have a second to check my email…I’ll check his too and let him know if anything pops up.

Two, he’s working and needs to tell me something. He’ll send me an email from his work desk to his civilian email. They aren’t allowed to have cell phones with them.

I’ve never kept a password from my husband…nor has he kept one from me. It’s hard to explain why, I guess.

Our lives are so entangled with each other that it isn’t practical to keep passwords from each other anyway.

We share all of our electronic devices, bank accounts and we have the same site for pay stubs and our retirement because we are both in the military.

So, completely impractical to keep passwords from each other.

Yeah, this is pretty much how we do it.

 

[white_sheep]

what would be a reasonable amount of monitoring? without going overboard?

A reasonable amount of monitoring of your child’s use of unlimited porn devices? Total. Going overboard would be looking over their shoulder all the time without good reason for doing so. Sifting through absolutely everything they have done on such devices is reasonable.

 

[white_sheep]

yeah, I think basic texting is ok though. there’s really no need for data if you have other computers already. I think kids having electronics in their room is probably going to keep them up all night anyways, so leaving it in the living room is probably a good plan

that’s find if you have joint accounts. but I mean if your boyfriend demands you give him your passwords, or something like that.

Tell him to go take a leap. You should not give boyfriends your passwords, especially if you are a minor. If he actually accuses you of cheating and wants to see your emails because he thinks there is evidence of it there, or in your texts, I would first discuss the whole issue with him thoroughly. Find out why he thinks you might be cheating. If he is just crazy overboard jealous there may be some issues there you want to know about before continuing the relationship. If there is a reasonable explanation for him thinking you are messing around then maybe just show him your emails and texts, but I would still not give him any passwords.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

We, as spouses, have access to all the email accounts, bank accounts, and probably facebook, etc. They are just sort of jointly operated. If my wife was worried about me being unfaithful, I would appreciate it if she told me, and I would show her all my texts and forum pm’s. I would also want to fix whatever is causing her to worry.

Our kids aren’t big enough yet, but I foresee no privacy for them within the realm of electronics. Limited functionality, safe search programs, random inspections, and public use of internet connected devices. Meaning it is in the kitchen/living room where I can see what they are doing always. Phones that are just phones, not browsers.

I’m in the basically the same boat. I have a list of all our logins and passwords, as much so my wife can access something should I be out of pocket as for openess between us, which we just find healthy anyway. She can grab my phone anytime to use it, and vice versa, though it rarely happens except for taking quick pics of the kids.

We have NetNanny on both the desktop and laptop, and when our children begin to access the computer (ages 5, 2, &1 right now), it’ll be centrally located for easy monitoring. The desktop and laptop are also password protected, as is access to the internet, so if we aren’t there, the computer is out of commission. Nothing is full proof, but it is the best we can do, along with trying to raise them right in the mean time.

 

[angell1]

Well, first of all, I wouldn’t let kids have data plans on their phones. That right there would mean no picture-based texting, which would eliminate a lot of those problems.

Internet use only in common areas of the house: no computers in bedrooms, for example. That way a kid can still write emails/use Facebook (if old/mature enough), etc, but knows that mom, dad, or a sibling could walk past anytime and see the screen.

And yep, I’d stick with a kid not getting their own phone. Family phones and not leaving the house without one? Definitely. Having a way that predators (or just randy, stupid teens) can know they’ll contact them and only them by calling or texting? Nope. And that also helps the teen with their peers. “No, I can’t do X, mom and dad would know.” (I have no problem taking the blame for something like that.)

Now, would I insist on reading every single text on a phone every day? Nahhh, not unless a kid had given me significant reason not to trust them. But general oversight from time to time? Definitely. Those aren’t the kids’ phones: they’re mine. I bought them, I’m paying for the minutes and texting, I’m responsible, both morally and legally, for what happens on them.

I guess even if they each did have their own phone, you can still use tha tline of reasoning. you are still the one paying for them therefore they are still yours. have them leave them in the common area when they’re at home for example, or something.

I don’t know, the one thing my parents weren’t too strict about was my technology and I feel, for the most part, I knew what not to do with it.

but that’s proably because my mom isn’t too good with tech stuff, so she wouldn’t know hwo to check anything anyways

 

[pianistclare]

I guess even if they each did have their own phone, you can still use tha tline of reasoning. you are still the one paying for them therefore they are still yours. have them leave them in the common area when they’re at home for example, or something.

I don’t know, the one thing my parents weren’t too strict about was my technology and I feel, for the most part, I knew what not to do with it.

but that’s proably because my mom isn’t too good with tech stuff, so she wouldn’t know hwo to check anything anyways

Excuse my ignorance, but what kind of cell phone technology is there for blind users?
Spoken (name removed by moderator)ut technology? Various apps or special phones?

 

[angell1]

Excuse my ignorance, but what kind of cell phone technology is there for blind users?
Spoken (name removed by moderator)ut technology? Various apps or special phones?

it’s ok, it’s not very common knowledge.

the IPhone and android phones all have built in text to speech program which will read out what’s on the screen.

if you have one of these kinds, you can even try it out yourself. if you go in to settings and in to accessibility, ther’s usually an option for vision, the IPhone one is called Voice Over and the android one is called Talk back.

Similar programs exist for computers and tablets

 

[on_the_hill]

Well.

My wife and I share a “family” yahoo email account. It’s the one we use for all of our emails that deal with family matters, stores, schools, insurance, medical, etc.

I have a separate yahoo email account that I use if I’m at a site that wants an email and I don’t want to give my real information. I.e., I don’t want to give my real name and email to retail sites, or forums, or places where I want to remain anonymous and don’t want to fill our main email with spam.

My wife has asked for my username and password for that account on occasion. I always tell her, but she never remembers it anyway.

We both have work emails and neither accesses the other’s.

I have nothing to hide, but I DO NOT LIKE people to monitor me. It was a huge deal for me to give in to my wife when she demanded that I connect my iPhone to our iCloud so she could use Find My iPhone to keep track of where I am on my commute to and from work. It really aggravates me but I conceded because she got more aggravated than I did.

Bottom line is: I don’t tell her everything about everything, and she doesn’t ask. And I don’t ask her. If there were something “bad” happening, I wouldn’t rely on prying into someone’s email.

 

[angell1]

Well.

My wife and I share a “family” yahoo email account. It’s the one we use for all of our emails that deal with family matters, stores, schools, insurance, medical, etc.

I have a separate yahoo email account that I use if I’m at a site that wants an email and I don’t want to give my real information. I.e., I don’t want to give my real name and email to retail sites, or forums, or places where I want to remain anonymous and don’t want to fill our main email with spam.

My wife has asked for my username and password for that account on occasion. I always tell her, but she never remembers it anyway.

We both have work emails and neither accesses the other’s.

I have nothing to hide, but I DO NOT LIKE people to monitor me. It was a huge deal for me to give in to my wife when she demanded that I connect my iPhone to our iCloud so she could use Find My iPhone to keep track of where I am on my commute to and from work. It really aggravates me but I conceded because she got more aggravated than I did.

Bottom line is: I don’t tell her everything about everything, and she doesn’t ask. And I don’t ask her. If there were something “bad” happening, I wouldn’t rely on prying into someone’s email.

yeah, that actually kind of freaks me out, that there are IPhone locaters that let you track other people.

my dad tried to get me to do it once but I didn’t. I need my own space sometimes

 

[Inisfallen]

Good question.

My wife and I have our own e-mail accounts, and we don’t have each other’s passwords. This is just fine with me. Every adult is entitled to have private conversations, whether in person or on the phone or by email, with their friends and family. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We don’t have separate finances. Our paychecks go into a joint account. Mostly my wife manages the money – she’s better at it than I am. But I do have access to our various accounts and credit cards and so on. I pretty much leave it to her, though. So I suppose we don’t really have financial privacy. She can see all my credit card charges and cash withdrawals, and I could see hers if I wanted to, but I don’t care – I don’t check her spending or anything.

Neither one of us has a Facebook page. This was true even before we met each other, and long before we got married. Just not my thing, and not hers either. The idea of living my life in public gives me the creeps.

As to our daughter, well, she’s not quite two yet, so it’s really not an issue. But if she were a teenager, I think I’d be OK with her having a smartphone, and private email, and even a Facebook page. I’d certainly advise her not to have a Facebook page, but I know it’s hard for kids today to stay off Facebook. There would be some social cost to her, and if she didn’t want to pay that price, it would be OK with me.

Basically, unless she did something that showed me otherwise, I’d assume that she was smart enough to handle privacy, and let her have it.

 

[Allegra]

My husband has access to my accounts because he works at the bank and knows all of my passwords because I can’t remember them. I don’t think he checks my stuff for infidelity, though he does sometimes look at my facebook account in order to correct my spelling errors.