Problems with my Priest

[mangold81093]

I was teaching religion class this week and I took the kids to the church to do a little tour of church ,altar , sacristy etc… my priest is not involved in our religious ed program and he can be hard to approach most times…a lot of people have left the parish because of this…but this time I was so terribly hurt for myself as well as my students, I was going through what the priest wears for the vesting process and we were in the sacristy, and Father.came in. He didn’t even say hello to the children and he was so curt and mean that I almost began to cry. We were not disrespectful in any way , and I’ve always taken the children into the church as they enjoy it too… I feel like I’m nearing the end of my rope, He can be so terribly unfriendly at times, but when he’s that way to me I just deal, but these children( 9th grade )and I was terribly upset that he was so mean, the children were visabally shocked by the way he acted… I don’t want to leave my parish…but I keep seeing more and more families leaving. I give the Eucharist to the homebound and nusing homes, but If I left I would be just devastated! I always try to respect and pray for our priest… and encourage others to as well , …I just don’t know what to do anymore, I am losing heart… Please pray for me

 

[Roseeurekacross]

When @PianistClare comes back.

She has a lifetime as DRE etc

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

I was teaching religion class this week and I took the kids to the church to do a little tour of church ,altar , sacristy etc… my priest is not involved in our religious ed program and he can be hard to approach most times…a lot of people have left the parish because of this…but this time I was so terribly hurt for myself as well as my students, I was going through what the priest wears for the vesting process and we were in the sacristy, and Father.came in. He didn’t even say hello to the children and he was so curt and mean that I almost began to cry. We were not disrespectful in any way , and I’ve always taken the children into the church as they enjoy it too… I feel like I’m nearing the end of my rope, He can be so terribly unfriendly at times, but when he’s that way to me I just deal, but these children( 9th grade )and I was terribly upset that he was so mean, the children were visabally shocked by the way he acted… I don’t want to leave my parish…but I keep seeing more and more families leaving. I give the Eucharist to the homebound and nusing homes, but If I left I would be just devastated! I always try to respect and pray for our priest… and encourage others to as well , …I just don’t know what to do anymore, I am losing heart… Please pray for me

You seem to be taking his abruptness very personally. You may want to seek help if someone not saying hello can drive you to tears. I also caution you that your attitude may have made it worse for these young adults.

I know Priests who go out of their way to be friendly and open but even they, at times, just need to get stuff done and aren’t really “on.”

Even if taking them through the sanctury was normal, did you inform him first? That would seem like a major overstep to me.

Have you sat down with him and asked what you can do for him?

 

[mangold81093]

Thankyou for being honest, I didn’t ask the priest permission, so I will definitely do that next time. I have done it for years and it was just part of my curriculum. I totally understand that priest have a lot on there plates and like I said I pray for him always, I will try to do better

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Thankyou for being honest, I didn’t ask the priest permission, so I will definitely do that next time. I have done it for years and it was just part of my curriculum. I totally understand that priest have a lot on there plates and like I said I pray for him always, I will try to do better

I think we often do not understand how minuscule and valuable downtime is for a Priest. He may have thought that there was something very wrong going on, dropped what he was doing (likely resting) and came in.

Only to find a class of students.

It seems reasonable this would be frustrating and irritating for him. A simple heads up could have prevented him from having to stop his 3-hours late now cold meal.

I remeber seeing my priest nearly in tears. He had a HARD few days. Back to back funerals, church functions, confirmation prep. Then the 11am Mass included a Baptism…so it lasted well past noon and someone chatted his ear off–someone who was working on important church issue and was NEVER available, so he had “no choice”. I had come back to help with something and he was still standing in the vestibule, late for Baptism classes. He had not eaten since the day before…it was nearly 2. I ran and got him a sub.

But the poor thing. And he still had a full day ahead of him. He was kind but his life was hard. Really hard. And at 72 years old, he really should of had it much easier.

 

[kcooper]

I went to a Catholic high school and college some years back when there were a lot of priests. Some of them were very personable men and others not so much. Not all that different from plumbers or teachers or cops.
My parish has an older pastor and declining attendance also. He is very personable but comes across as very strict. He’s the only priest although we have 3 deacons and I think his popularity does have something to do with the lesser attendances.

 

[MaryT777]

Please stay in your parish as those who teach are so needed in the Church. You sound like a wonderful person and sensitive to the thoughts of others so I imagine you are as such with your students. We had what seemed to be a rather “brusque” priest one time and he ended up being my favorite priest. He was short and to the point and that was off putting to some until they got to know him. better and we all ended up loving him so much for he worked so hard for the Church.

Could you set up a short meeting with your priest sometime and talk to him about wanting students to do a tour and ask if that is ok and just chat a little bit about religious ed etc and your experiences? I bet you might find you feel better after getting to know him a little bit.

I will pray for you and am sorry you felt as such. Yes priests are short on time but some sensitivity especially around a class would have been nice given you have student with you. That is JMO.

God bless you your work for the Church.

 

[buglady]

ease pray for me

I thought that kind of priest went out of date after Vatican II. I remember being told I would go to hell when I died by one of the priests at church when I was about 10 years old.

He might be replaced some day. At least you can hope.

 

[buglady]

choice”. I had come back to help with something and he was still standing in the vestibule, late for Baptism

Oh, incidentally, if you are a volunteer teaching CCD, I can see why you would feel bad. If you are an employee, that makes the priest your boss and what he says goes.

 

[Trishie]

And like everyone else, priests need our prayer.
Charity in correcting someone, and certainly before children, is always necessary.
God grant that the children will see enough witness of Christian charity that any such less kind witness will be overwritten in their minds and souls. The churches belong to all, not just our priests, Jesus is present to welcome all, and especially the little children. It is a source of gratitude and delight, not censure, for children to come into His Presence.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

We don’t know why the priest is abrupt, he no doubt has his problems,
so hopefully his parishioners who find him unfriendly or abrupt will compassionately pray for his temporal and his spiritual needs. Those who give their lives to serve, also need our support, compassion, and prayers.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Oh, incidentally, if you are a volunteer teaching CCD, I can see why you would feel bad. If you are an employee, that makes the priest your boss and what he says goes.

So you should tell less to your boss because it’s something you’ve been doing for years? No.

Volunteers and employees BOTH need to be respectful. You don’t feel bad about a poor guy who needs some down time because he’s your boss? Really? Even when I was a work-study in college, I’d ensure that my boss got time for lunch and would help the students and answer the phones she normally would so she could have a bit of peace.

She loved the days I came in because others did not think to do that and she was so busy she forgot to delegate.

It is important to pray and to chat on a 1:1 basis. Most people do not realize how poorly Priests who live alone fair. They are like a single parent of thousands. They must do their own laundry, cook their own meals and try to get some time in their day to just rest. This can make anyone aloof and cranky. Many times cranky and aloof priests can be changed by a parish who cares about their well being, rather than a parish that runs around saying how his actions are all wrong.