Promise I want to break

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iamheartilysorr

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Hi I have a problem! I made a promise I was not sure I would keep to make a person feel better. (I promised my track coach i would rejoin the team once the school play is over.) Now I do not want to rejoin… although I am one of the best on the team, running two hours everyday and going to six hour meets on the weekend gives me no pleasure. It would make him very dissapointed and angry if I quit now, especially after promising him. I am aware I should not have promised, but now am I morally bound to finish my senior year on the team?
 
I think you just have to have a conversation about it. Yes, you made a promise, but I’m sure your track coach doesn’t want you to send a whole year being miserable and spending 16 hours per week on something you don’t want to do when you have so much else to do this coming year. It’s probably one of those things that feel like a huge deal right now, but, really, it’s probably not such a big deal.
 
Just tell him you reconsidered and have decided not to join track at this time. Tell him you know you promised, and at the time you meant it, but you are sorry and your feelings have changed and you are no longer interested.

It’s not like you signed a contract with a professional team. Apologize for getting his hopes up, and put it behind you.
 
No just tell him you’ve had time to think and can’t join the team. If he asks why, just say you realized your time commitments are more than you thought. If he pushes it just tell your parents. By the way, what distance do you run?
 
I think you should stick it out. Not only because you promised, but because it will likely be the last time you get the chance to be on team sports. I think in a few years when you look back you’ll realize you liked it more than you feel you do now.

In the moment we focus on all the effort and energy and time an activity will cost us. For the years to come that’s all a blur and all you remember is the good times and friends.
 
As a practical consideration, if you are planning on going to college, having team sports on your application makes you a more well-rounded applicant.
 
I am going to go against the grain and say if you don’t want to do track then don’t do track. When I was a kid my dad would sign me up for little league baseball every year. I absolutely hated it. I would pray for it to rain so there would be a rain delay or the game would get canceled. I was a nerd. I had rather be reading encyclopedias than playing baseball.

I would just explain that you are sorry you made that promise but you simply don’t want to play anymore. It’s your senior year, don’t spend time on anything you hate like that or you will regret it when you get older. He may get mad but he will get over it.
 
The team runs 50 mile weeks in the summer, but during cross country we race 5ks, and during outdoors and indoors I race the 3000 and the 1500. Id be lying if I said I didnt love it, but I love violin more, and it is beyond the capacity of my time or talent to do both
 
Nice, 50 mile weeks??? 5ks are brutal, don’t know how you do that. I liked 800 and mile but wasn’t competitive like you. HOpe it all works out.
 
and thank all you guys! you are giving me so much clarity that I really needed. While I appreciate the consideration that being on a team sport will look better on my college application, I am involved in so many things that I don’t think it will matter too much. What I was mainly worrying about was breaking my word, but I am seeing that the sensible thing to do might be to just admit I was wrong and move on. Not take a lofty, disproportionate penance just to feel more self-righteous, or holier.
 
thank you so much!!! God bless. Not only did I hear back from you guys, an old violin teacher just contacted me… So things are piecing together to show me what I should do. Have a great night!
 
You shouldn’t rejoin if you don’t want to, but you need to have a conversation about it and maybe apologize. Just explain that you thought about it and decided you have other commitments. Don’t let him pressure or make you feel guilty. These past two years I have been in my school band and hated it, next year I am quitting. You did not sign a contract with your coach so you are not obligated to rejoin the team.
 
awesomecatholic said:
you need to have a conversation about it and maybe apologize.
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Definitely apologize, {ETA: let him know as soon as possible!} and maybe even tell him that you have learned a lesson from this, or at least acknowledge to yourself that before you make a promise, think it over 🙂

I had to learn to say, let me check my schedule, so that I wouldn’t over commit myself.

You did mention that you enjoy running and all that, so maybe you can continue it on your own or with like-minded people on a less-intensive basis.
 
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