catsrus said:
Alan, I admire your calm ability to “fiddle” with fundies minds. I wish I could, but I see red and all bets are off.
I’m only a three year convert so maybe I will calm down in time. But given my personality, I’ll probably always have to walk away.
Until very recently I was also too timid, emotional, angry, etc to go amid people who disagreed. A couple years ago my psychiatrist actually insisted I quit all my parish leadership positions because I couldn’t deal with conflict.
That’s all changed, though. I’ve learned not to care about anything or anyone. That is, I have no anxiety based on what they will do. If they are my friends they will act like it, and if not then their problems aren’t my problems as long as they are just blowing steam. Sticks and stones may break my bones but their blasphemy will never hurt me.
It helps to think of them as so inconsequential that you have absolutely no concern over what they say. Recognize that you have power over them as long as you do not let them see you sweat. Most of the time I think when we get mad it’s because we are really concerned whether the other person understands our view and validates it, all the better if they accept it. If you’re confident in you faith, then who cares what they say?
Once you’ve gotten to that point, look at them like they have a big prideful zit that has to pop. You can’t pinch the zit because they think you’re hurting them. So you swell it up by feeding their pride as much as possible. The ultimate, once they have thoroughly exhalted themselves, is for them to find out that you are the person over whom they just clearly exalted themselves. Suddenly they’re apologizing to me all over the place. What’s funny is I don’t care if they apologize; I think it’s good for them to make asses out of themselves in such a way they can’t blame it on me. If they don’t learn anything, well then I still don’t care what they say. If they have coherent criticism I’ll listen to it, for the sake of Truth, but their emotional pushiness can’t push me around because I’ve been pushed around by some of the best professional mind shrinkers.
Actually my enjoyment of being around them isn’t all about one-upping them; I actually enjoy being around different people to experience different points of view. Even if it be people hostile to my own cause, I still like to know how they think because I’m curious and the better I understand people who think differently than I do the less I fear them.
Alan