Hi Tommy - ok, so I’m just going to respond without having read any the other responses. So I apologize if all of this has been covered already or the conversation has steered another way by now, but:
I was also raised Protestant and taught that birth control (within marriage of course) was totally fine. I married at age 24, but went off birth control for good at 27 in order to become an egg donor (though I of course was on a slew of other hormones other than BC for the donations, but that’s a different story). I did a couple donations before my husband I began TTC on our own right when I turned 28. We tried for 2 years before finally conceiving my daughter. My husband also had male infertility and had surgery to help (I wonder if he had the same issue as you? He had varicocele repair surgery). So we seem to have similar backgrounds.
Interestingly, over all those years of being an egg donor and then trying unsuccessfully to conceive myself, I became incredibly knowledgeable about human reproduction and ended up coming to a conclusion very similar to the Catholic view of birth control and natural family planning (NFP) all on my own. It was actually kind of the door into Catholicism for me! I know that a lot of people don’t understand Catholic teaching on it - but I first understood the reasons behind it, and then later learned that that’s what Catholics taught too.
So, to sum it up (also, I should note that I’m not actually a Catholic yet, though I just started RCIA so I likely will be converting soon) - Catholics place an extremely high value on human life, even moreso than my protestant upbringing seemed to. As part of this, the miraculous ability for humans to create new life through the act of sex is also highly esteemed. (and I’ll freely admit that before I carried and gave birth to my own child that I did not fully understand the full beauty of our ability to create life in this way. I mean, LIFE. It’s a pretty big freakin deal!) So Catholics believe that new life should always be given a chance and that the reason that humans are able to experience and enjoy sex is because a large part of the act of sex is the ability of it potentially bring forth new life. It’s both a heavy responsibility and awesome privilege.
And then - on top of that - sex also exists to form a bond between married spouses. And since marriage is also highly regarded in the Catholic church, the act of sex becomes two-fold: both to bring couples together, and to potentially create life.
Now, there’s a whole slough of questions that people typically raise at this point (what is a couple is infertile? what about masturbation? etc?), and those can be answered separately, but basically, the Catholic Church teaches that sex should serve the following two purposes:
- brings the couple together and
- should have the potential to be life-giving.
Then means that:
a) artificial birth control should not be used because it takes away the possibility of life (not counting NFP, which isn’t actual birth control, but agreed upon mutual abstinence during fertile periods).
b) sexual foreplay is ok, but it should always end with the male ejaculating into the woman (i.e. no ejaculation by masturbation).
I know I answered a bit more than you asked, but I think it’s important to understand the whole picture about the Catholic view of birth control.
Also, as a side note, and apart from Catholic teaching, I’m now personally very much against hormonal birth control. Now that I’ve learned so much more about my body, I realize how dangerous hormonal birth control can be for women and how horribly unnatural it is. And ugh, as an egg donor, I was pumped so full of hormones, I don’t even want to go into it. But basically, I now understand how artificial hormones mess with a female’s body and I just wish more girls/women were aware of it instead of everyone just going on birth control pills like it’s nothing.