Protestants, pornagraphy, sex and "boys will be boys"

[The_Geographer]

Hide the playboys …wink wink

What do Protestants think about boys having Playboys and such? Don’t get me wrong, I know Catholics that have done the same thing, but we are taught it’s not only wrong but evil. Are Protestant men more prone to be perverted and the women much more permissive in this area?

We went to see meemaw this past weekend. I took my oldest son, 15, to one of my brother-in-laws because their youngest son is only a year older than he is. One of the friends pulled out a phone and had a Playboy Bunny Logo on the screen saver. Shortly after that the older son, 1 years older walked out holding his girlfriends hand and they had that look on their faces. I was horrified because that would never have happened in my home growing up. I was shocked. Knowing my oldest son and after chatting with my brother-in-law I finally got the courage to leave and planned to keep tabs on my son, but from meemaw’s house. They were playing video games and I know my son would not participate because of how he is about sin…especially temptation to porn. He tore up his mom’s Victoria Secrets catalog that was sent only after she had just purchased some basics. If you shop there ladies you know what I mean. I still get embarrassed about it. She could have been one of the VC models before our son was born, but child bearing takes a toll on the body.

Anyway, I told my wife that I was a bit concerned about the Playboy sign and something I saw happen with one of the boys with his girlfriend walking out. Meewaw defended the kids and said they are good kids and that I had to let my son grow up. I said I don’t have to allow him to be exposed to playboy or any kind of smut. She said that boys do that kind of thing and I had to let him grow up. I said that may be true but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to protect him from it especially while he’s young and vulnerable. She continued down the defense line of “boys will be boys” and that I can’t stop it because its going to happen. I said not over my dead body.

To make a long disturbing story shorter. She basically admitted to finding Playboys in her son’s rooms and would either hide them or throw them away. She said boys will do that. I told her I didn’t. Either choice without confronting the boys is wrong in my opinion. Her line of defense is that you can’t stop them so why try. I said but it’s pornography and it’s the number one thing that men have grown to getting addicted to since the internet in particular. I said that is so wrong and deeply sinful. She continued down the path that I shouldn’t be concerned about it because I can’t watch him all the time and he’s going to get exposed no matter what I do. I said but that’s why we should try to stop pornography. It exploits women and ruins marriages, etc.

Never did convince her and her reaction really turned my stomach. I realized that day, no wonder I saw the mentality among her brothers that I only noticed in more recent years. My wife is disturbed by it also. But she also noticed the double standard between the boys sowing their wild oats while they still can. But the girls had to be home early. I’m more inclined to never let my children stay with any of them now - not even over even a weekend. I have protestant stepmother that is the same way now and the result is horrible. One stepbrother is divorced twice, impregnated his girlfriend in high school. My stepsister got pregnant at 16 and married really young, but her marriage is still in tact. The other stepbrother list like a “man ho” and is also recently divorced.

I’m beginning to believe this is not only a society problem but among all Christians is a uniquely non-Catholic screw ball way of thinking and explains a lot of why so many Church of Christ women come across so miserable after a while. The ones that can’t deal with their man’s wondering eyes really get persecuted in a very messed up way. It’s not Christian at all, but they hide behind “boys will be boys”. It Sickened me.

 

[Darian]

That’s a pretty big generalization. I in no way condone what was said and done, but could tell you the same story about a catholic family, or any other family for that matter.

 

[The_Geographer]

That’s a pretty big generalization. I in no way condone what was said and done, but could tell you the same story about a catholic family, or any other family for that matter.

I haven’t generalized yet, but am curious about how Protestant’s, various types, think about “boys will be boys” attitude and teenagers using porn. We know about cafateria Catholics already. No surprise there. But Protestants that typically attend church come across as “the truly saved” or “faithful”.

I noticed you have “Christian” for your religion. That’s too general and you could easily be Catholic, Orthodox or even Mormon for all we know. So which is it? Are you non-denom, Church of Christ, Baptist, Methodist, Unitarian, etc.?

 

[Rascalking]

From what I’ve seen, I think it’s Catholics who have a lesser view of male sexuality than protestants. So many pamphlets and little guides show men as interested only in sex, and women having no sex drive. That’s wrong and kind of silly. One organization run by a powerful priest has hands that basically show men as borderline sexual deviants and women as models of grace and chastity that never have a sex drive! (private message me if you want the name of it. I don’t want to “slander” this group)

As for the pornography issue, I never, ever thought it was a problem, and I still don’t. We hear about from people on these forums, and thats a very, very small percentage of Catholics, and an even smaller amount of Christians. Not all men have secret piles of X rated material in their basement, In fact, I’d venture few do.

I’m sorry, boy’s will be boys, that’s true-all men are visual creatures, that’s absolutely true. We’ll always have some immaturity in us-but let’s take a deep breath and not realize that all of us sex obsessed maniacs and women always have the virtue card.

 

[aicirt]

I don’t know if this will help but I have a Methodist friend, two Presbyterians, and two Lutheran friends. All were strict with their kids. All wondered aloud why the head of ND wasn’t fired over the continued showing of The Vagina Monologues on that campus. All of us consider it porn as I do. I can’t even conceive of a Catholic guy asking a Catholic girl on a date to see it. Totally inappropriate on sooo many levels.

About your son and porn. Yes, boys are visual and they are curious. If you ever should find something of his, I suggest you put it back where you found it. Later, take him out and talk about sex in high school and how much of it is bragging. But for the others, they are playing Russian roulette jepordizing their lives with STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

 

[dove1967]

I think this issue crosses ALL denominations & religions. I also show as being Christian, I was baptized and joined the Methodist Church. As a Christian and a parent of a 17 year old son my husband and I do not want porn to be a part of our sons life. That being said in talking to wives of different denominations I find that pron seems to be a common problem and does need to be addressed, It hurts relationships, families and is not reality. It can also become very addictive. This is only based on about 20 whom I have talked to about the issue. I know not all males deal with this issue.

 

[Moscati]

My Protestant family was very strict growing up, especially with the boys. One time, my brother got caught looking at these sort of stylized anime nudes online, and he literally wasn’t allowed to touch the computer for a full year.

I don’t think this is a Protestant or Catholic thing, really. It just depends on the family.

 

[mariahloves]

As for the pornography issue, I never, ever thought it was a problem, and I still don’t. We hear about from people on these forums, and thats a very, very small percentage of Catholics, and an even smaller amount of Christians. Not all men have secret piles of X rated material in their basement, In fact, I’d venture few do.

I’m sorry, boy’s will be boys, that’s true-all men are visual creatures, that’s absolutely true. We’ll always have some immaturity in us-but let’s take a deep breath and not realize that all of us sex obsessed maniacs and women always have the virtue card.

You know what, it really gets to me when people say “all men are visual creatures” all WOMEN are visual creatures as well. I really don’t know who came up with this ridiculous notion that women aren’t sexual or are but don’t act on it, that women don’t care what their partners look like as long as they make us women laugh and are sensitive! Or the even bigger lie that women don’t watch porn…they do. Women have standards. Men have NO excuse or license to sin.

 

[MarineGuy]

Most Protestant guys my age I know (“evangelical” ones included) don’t see a problem with pornography, fornication, masturbation, etc. Even if they acknowledge they are sins, they certainly don’t think they are sins that will send you to hell.

 

[Rascalking]

You know what, it really gets to me when people say “all men are visual creatures” all WOMEN are visual creatures as well. I really don’t know who came up with this ridiculous notion that women aren’t sexual or are but don’t act on it, that women don’t care what their partners look like as long as they make us women laugh and are sensitive! Or the even bigger lie that women don’t watch porn…they do. Women have standards. Men have NO excuse or license to sin.

Um-let’s take a look at this. If women are as equally motivated by the visual as men are-how come you don’t see commericals for products geared towards with nothing but shirtless men hawking the product? Try this-enter into a group of women with a hot guy, Tell them that they can have quick, anyomous sex with him, nothing else. Most women would decline. Do the same thing with a hot girl and a group of men. As for the women watching porn-how come Playgirl has a 70 percent gay man readership? How come there are no strip clubs for HETEROSEXUAL women that show hot guys?I could go on.(Now yes, you might even know of a strip club, say Chippendales, that focuses on women. Your right. But how many male stip clubs are there in comparison?)

I never said men have an excuse or license. I never said women weren’t visual. What I say, and what most people see-is that men are much, much more visual and have stronger sex drives. Much stronger.

Now yes, you could know an exception, you could even be the exception-but it’s a true statement.

I think you might have misunderstood my post. If I wasn’t clear, I apologize.

 

[mariahloves]

Um-let’s take a look at this. If women are as equally motivated by the visual as men are-how come you don’t see commericals for products geared towards with nothing but shirtless men hawking the product?

I didn’t say equally visual but certain people (not saying you) like to pretend as if women are not visual at all because it suits their agenda. There are some women who are just as visual as the average male. I think the difference between men and women being visual is not as great as everyone might assume. There are advertisements geared at women with sexualized men. Have you ever looked through a fashion magazine like TeenVogue? There are many pictures of half naked male and female models trying to sell girls handbags and shoes. Don’t get me started on perfume ads. Also why is creativity and art associated with non visual women???

Try this-enter into a group of women with a hot guy, Tell them that they can have quick, anyomous sex with him, nothing else. Most women would decline. Do the same thing with a hot girl and a group of men.

This isn’t a good example. Women who have casual sex are branded as sluts who are worth nothing more than their sexuality. It’s considered abnormal, unnatural, and wrong for a woman to have casual sex (it is for both men and women but the message is not the same for men). So women have this ingrained in their minds while men are told they are “lucky” if they can “get” a woman to have sex with them, that they’re a stud, more manly and cool if they have casual sex…the more the better! That’s ingrained in men’s minds along with the “men are visual!” thing. So would it be any surprise if men agreed to have sex with a girl anonymously?

As for the women watching porn-how come Playgirl has a 70 percent gay man readership?

That’s one magazine. Maybe most women don’t like that type of porn?*

How come there are no strip clubs for HETEROSEXUAL women that show hot guys?I could go on.(Now yes, you might even know of a strip club, say Chippendales, that focuses on women. Your right. But how many male stip clubs are there in comparison?)

I can say this: I think male strippers look gay. As a straight woman, I am not attracted to gay men or men who look like gay men. I think this is true for most women. Stripclubs are considered such a “guy” thing women may surpress any desire to go to a male stripclub.*

I never said men have an excuse or license. I never said women weren’t visual. What I say, and what most people see-is that men are much, much more visual and have stronger sex drives. Much stronger.

No no no no no lol and no. Sorry. Men do not have “much stronger sex drives” I’m so disappointed you don’t see how the media has tried to convince men they are dumb sex crazed robots. It’s simply not true. Women are ashamed to admit they have sex drives like men because they have been indoctrinated to believe it is wrong…they need to be pure and virginal…let me tell you this, for every man having casual sex, one night stands, etc there is a woman doing it with him. Explain that. Sex SHOULD be am exclusive act between one man and one woman who are married. Both male and female struggle with this.*

Now yes, you could know an exception, you could even be the exception-but it’s a true statement.

Maybe I live in some weird area but I know of many, many exceptions that make the “rule” seem like an exception lol *

I think you might have misunderstood my post. If I wasn’t clear, I apologize.

I think you’ll probably misunderstand mine too…it’s the Internet though thoughts aren’t translated as vividly as real life unfortunately…i’m sorry in advance for misconceptions

 

[mariahloves]

Haha my post randomly generated *'s…I can’t remove them any reason why?

 

[Soutane]

I think this issue crosses ALL denominations & religions. I also show as being Christian, I was baptized and joined the Methodist Church. As a Christian and a parent of a 17 year old son my husband and I do not want porn to be a part of our sons life. That being said in talking to wives of different denominations I find that pron seems to be a common problem and does need to be addressed, It hurts relationships, families and is not reality. It can also become very addictive. This is only based on about 20 whom I have talked to about the issue. I know not all males deal with this issue.

Porn is the Gorilla in the room in a lot of Chistian families,Catholic and non-Catholic alike and I’m not just talking about internet filth,smut magazines or pornography that one can rent at blockbuster.It pervades the media with porn references and smutty sitcoms-have you ever seen two and one half men?AND ITS BROADCAST IN PRIMETIME.Canadian Tv shows programs likr KINK and Sex CITYand a plethora of others on a non-porn channel.You even see advertisements on television for sex toys.I’ve seen commentators on i don’t know how many American and Canadian news programs refer to “the money shot”;for those who do not understand what this refers to,google it.Porn has been normalised.Both adolescent boys and girls of ALL faiths view it.The most popular pornography for women is male homosexual porn.Women used to be the civilizing influence and a restraint on the powerful sexuality of men but when they become like us head for the hills.Porn deadens the soul, skews and perverts sexuality in adolescents and marriages."Oh honey,it’s just a normal fantasy and harmless.It is NOT.It is defacto cheating on your spouse and it is very,very,addictive.

 

[The_Geographer]

You know what, it really gets to me when people say “all men are visual creatures” all WOMEN are visual creatures as well. I really don’t know who came up with this ridiculous notion that women aren’t sexual or are but don’t act on it, that women don’t care what their partners look like as long as they make us women laugh and are sensitive! Or the even bigger lie that women don’t watch porn…they do. Women have standards. Men have NO excuse or license to sin.

This is an interesting point. Our pastor brought up the point that about 60% of confessions are dealing with viewing pornography. He said that even women are confessing it now more than ever.

 

[The_Geographer]

Most Protestant guys my age I know (“evangelical” ones included) don’t see a problem with pornography, fornication, masturbation, etc. Even if they acknowledge they are sins, they certainly don’t think they are sins that will send you to hell.

This is exactly my point. It’s a curious question because I spent most of my life in Protestant faiths, but was probably the most conservative of all of my piers, including the preachers, elders and elders. But mention homosexuals and everything hits the fan. To me, sin is sin. Now, as a Catholic, mortal sin is mortal sin. One can not live his entire life hiding from culpability just to not be blamed for committing mortal sins knowingly.

 

[The_Geographer]

…Women used to be the civilizing influence and a restraint on the powerful sexuality of men but when they become like us head for the hills.Porn deadens the soul, skews and perverts sexuality in adolescents and marriages."Oh honey,it’s just a normal fantasy and harmless.It is NOT.It is defacto cheating on your spouse and it is very,very,addictive.

Yes, I learned this too. Women did used to be the civilizing factor in society. Men were seen as being house broken so to speak. Still seen in some views. Thus the “boys will be boys” but we’ll keep trying.

Also, I had a visual of a man posting this months pin up over the headboard so he can look at it while engaged with his wife. How do you think that would make the wife feel guys? Do you suddenly feel the weight of a iron skillet crashing in your skull? Who could blame her. But “boys will be boys”.

Hey, I’m no Saint. I’ve lived through the worst of environments. But surviving the environment I grew up around I firmly believe we have been knocking at Satan’s door for a long time, begging for him to take over. I can recall seeing what is now known as “hardcore” porn at the age of 7 while living in apartments. It’s disturbing and quite embarrassing. I do my best to wipe out the memories of it. That happened in 1968. That’s how strong the male mind can be. Visual stimulus is a nightmare if not harnessed properly. That’s why many women react so harsh towards my views about them covering up more. Somehow they think we should be able to shut it off like a light switch. Once the hormone kicks in its a major struggle.

I once saw a woman in her 50’s, still in good shape, get up in front of our assistant pastor and shake it all around in front of him while he was dancing on the floor. He’s a well formed man. I was embarrassed for her and for him. My wife’s reaction was one of amazement. The woman, respected among our Catholic community, was acting almost like a hooker in our view. Not only is dress important, but so is how one moves their body in front of especially the opposite gender. Why is this so difficult to understand. I think its that we try to justify to others to cover up the addictive tendencies we have. It’s humiliating to admit openly.

 

[AmandaB]

Um-let’s take a look at this. If women are as equally motivated by the visual as men are-how come you don’t see commericals for products geared towards with nothing but shirtless men hawking the product? Try this-enter into a group of women with a hot guy, Tell them that they can have quick, anyomous sex with him, nothing else. Most women would decline. Do the same thing with a hot girl and a group of men. As for the women watching porn-how come Playgirl has a 70 percent gay man readership? How come there are no strip clubs for HETEROSEXUAL women that show hot guys?I could go on.(Now yes, you might even know of a strip club, say Chippendales, that focuses on women. Your right. But how many male stip clubs are there in comparison?)

I never said men have an excuse or license. I never said women weren’t visual. What I say, and what most people see-is that men are much, much more visual and have stronger sex drives. Much stronger.

Now yes, you could know an exception, you could even be the exception-but it’s a true statement.

I think you might have misunderstood my post. If I wasn’t clear, I apologize.

GAHHHHHHHHH!!! You can’t be serious??? I think most people realize that the reason you see way more pornographic stuff geared towards men is because women have become sex objects and this sells like crazy. This has NOTHING to do with sex drives-this has to do with a part of history that has never gone away…cater to mens sexual desires-but not womens because they are too “pure” and admitting they had any such desires would make them dirty and shunned. Come on-we have made some progress with women’s rights, but NOT completely!!! What a laugh, if society catered to women’s sexual desires like they do to mens, you would never hear the end of the whining from the male population about having to see billboards of half naked men everywhere and much more…and most women would be too embarrassed to admit they like it and it would never sell as much as the men being catered to. So the cycle would repeat itself. Trust me- take a course in this field and it will blow your mind! P.S( for the record I don’t agree with ANY kind of pornography, but I had to make a point)

 

[Soutane]

Yes, I learned this too. Women did used to be the civilizing factor in society. Men were seen as being house broken so to speak. Still seen in some views. Thus the “boys will be boys” but we’ll keep trying.

Also, I had a visual of a man posting this months pin up over the headboard so he can look at it while engaged with his wife. How do you think that would make the wife feel guys? Do you suddenly feel the weight of a iron skillet crashing in your skull? Who could blame her. But “boys will be boys”.

Hey, I’m no Saint. I’ve lived through the worst of environments. But surviving the environment I grew up around I firmly believe we have been knocking at Satan’s door for a long time, begging for him to take over. I can recall seeing what is now known as “hardcore” porn at the age of 7 while living in apartments. It’s disturbing and quite embarrassing. I do my best to wipe out the memories of it. That happened in 1968. That’s how strong the male mind can be. Visual stimulus is a nightmare if not harnessed properly. That’s why many women react so harsh towards my views about them covering up more. Somehow they think we should be able to shut it off like a light switch. Once the hormone kicks in its a major struggle.

I once saw a woman in her 50’s, still in good shape, get up in front of our assistant pastor and shake it all around in front of him while he was dancing on the floor. He’s a well formed man. I was embarrassed for her and for him. My wife’s reaction was one of amazement. The woman, respected among our Catholic community, was acting almost like a hooker in our view. Not only is dress important, but so is how one moves their body in front of especially the opposite gender. Why is this so difficult to understand. I think its that we try to justify to others to cover up the addictive tendencies we have. It’s humiliating to admit openly.

I love Mexico and Playa Del Carmen especially.On the beach you see American,Canadian and European women with thongs on and completely topless.You NEVER see a Mexican woman disgrace herself like this.I think the female form is the most beautiful work of art that God created.But it irritates me to no end to have this shoved in my face as it provokes an emotional and physiological reaction in me involuntarily and I resent these women for provoking it AGAINST MY WILL.It also embarrasses other women and it intimidated my girlfriend.I would dliberately and ostentatiously turn my head away from them and comment loudly on their lack of respect for thenselves,the Mexican people(who object to this practise)and other women and men on the beach.Not ONCE was I argued with so there must have been some underlying shame.It’s not freedom it’s exhibition and a near occasion of sin.

 

[Rascalking]

GAHHHHHHHHH!!! You can’t be serious??? I think most people realize that the reason you see way more pornographic stuff geared toward men is because women have become sex objects and this sells like crazy. This has NOTHING to do with sex drives-this has to do with a part of history that has never gone away…cater to mens sexual desires-but not womens because they are too “pure” and admitting they had any such desires would make them dirty and shunned. Come on-we have made some progress with women’s rights, but NOT completely!!! What a laugh, if society catered to women’s sexual desires like they do to mens, you would never hear the end of the whining from the male population about having to see billboards of half naked men everywhere and much more…and most women would be too embarrassed to admit they like it and it would never sell as much as the men being catered to. So the cycle would repeat itself. Trust me- take a course in this field and it will blow your mind! P.S( for the record I don’t agree with ANY kind of pornography, but I had to make a point)

For the record, again, I never said women don’t have sexual drives. I never said men where corrupt-in fact, if you notice my other posts, I think men get a bad rap and aren’t always obsessed with sex. As to taking a course, I’ve taken several. However, I don’t use them as credentials because it’s a logical fallacy called the appeal to authority.

 

[Rascalking]

I didn’t say equally visual but certain people (not saying you) like to pretend as if women are not visual at all because it suits their agenda. There are some women who are just as visual as the average male. I think the difference between men and women being visual is not as great as everyone might assume. There are advertisements geared at women with sexualized men. Have you ever looked through a fashion magazine like TeenVogue? There are many pictures of half naked male and female models trying to sell girls handbags and shoes. Don’t get me started on perfume ads. Also why is creativity and art associated with non visual women???

This isn’t a good example. Women who have casual sex are branded as sluts who are worth nothing more than their sexuality. It’s considered abnormal, unnatural, and wrong for a woman to have casual sex (it is for both men and women but the message is not the same for men). So women have this ingrained in their minds while men are told they are “lucky” if they can “get” a woman to have sex with them, that they’re a stud, more manly and cool if they have casual sex…the more the better! That’s ingrained in men’s minds along with the “men are visual!” thing. So would it be any surprise if men agreed to have sex with a girl anonymously?
That’s one magazine. Maybe most women don’t like that type of porn?*
I can say this: I think male strippers look gay. As a straight woman, I am not attracted to gay men or men who look like gay men. I think this is true for most women. Stripclubs are considered such a “guy” thing women may surpress any desire to go to a male stripclub.*
No no no no no lol and no. Sorry. Men do not have “much stronger sex drives” I’m so disappointed you don’t see how the media has tried to convince men they are dumb sex crazed robots. It’s simply not true. Women are ashamed to admit they have sex drives like men because they have been indoctrinated to believe it is wrong…they need to be pure and virginal…let me tell you this, for every man having casual sex, one night stands, etc there is a woman doing it with him. Explain that. Sex SHOULD be am exclusive act between one man and one woman who are married. Both male and female struggle with this.*
Maybe I live in some weird area but I know of many, many exceptions that make the “rule” seem like an exception lol *

I think you’ll probably misunderstand mine too…it’s the Internet though thoughts aren’t translated as vividly as real life unfortunately…i’m sorry in advance for misconceptions

Perhaps it is best if we agree to disagree. God Bless.