O
OLofMtCarmel
Guest
This past Thursday, June 20th, I had my first evaluation for disability. Next week I have more appointments from physical, psyche, hearing. I’m not sure how many more there will be, but this should not be the end of them. I’m a bundle of nerves since the 90s, when I started crawling back into a cave bouncing off walls. I’m injured in many ways. I’ve had many psychos experiences. It wasn’t until recently an NP prescribed an anti-psychotic that I had a relief from most psychosis. She said it was anxieties. I’ve been experiencing ideations since the accident. Hopeless and worthless feelings. I know god love me. But the feelings are there no matter what anyone tries to say as “encouragement.” It is what it is. PTSD sucks, especially when it’s driven everyone in your life away. It’s a miracle my wife remains with me. I see the effects of my condition in my children now. I’ve only been diagnosed since 2012 and wished I had known for sure before I got married, worked on my career, etc. I needed help way back but now am just trying to settle for good enough (health wise). God had to be directing me in that wrong direction that led me to marrying my wife, who is now Catholic after I defected for many years. She’s stuck by me all these years, but probably because she also has PTSD. Only she’s gotten much better. Now I realize how bad off I’ve been. So not only do I need prayers, but so does my wife and children. I particularly want to ask for God’s hand in my disability ratings since I’ve managed to hide all these years from facing the truth. I’ve gotten good at lying about my condition. I’ve even convince others. Pray for the healthcare workers driving this process. Pray for the board/reviewers of my disabilities. I need 100% because I’m virtually unemployable based on my past of snapping once someone backs me into a corner It’s both physical and mental. And this is hard for me to admit. Pray for our veterans.