Pubescent Masturbation

[TBE]

Hi,

About 4 years ago I discovered masturbation via social influence. It was obviously very satisfying, and I began to build a habit, masturbating every few days or so, until stumbling across the article regarding the masturbation within the Cathecism.

I try to be meticulous with the truth. I’m rather scrupulous. I got on my knees and wept over my discovery, I was going to have to undergo the breaking of an ancient, years-old habit. These struggles have been leading me to doubt and distress over religion.

Anyway, to my main point - I’m a pubescent teenager, with almost unbearable hormones. I go to confession week after week, only to relapse. I feel as if my priest is beginning to get aggravated, hearing the same sins over and over again every week from me.

It gets to the point where the built up tension is literally achingly difficult to maintain. I cannot focus in school, or on any task at hand, for that matter, when I am faced with constant sexual tension and frequent arousal.

I find it almost impossible to hold a conversation or be around ladies who I even previously did not find attractive.

On top of all of this, the pains from holding back all of this sexual longing physically aches. In all honesty - it hurts. It feels as if I’m holding back a massive load of pressure and torment just waiting to come out.

I have to ask - is the culpability related to masturbation at a minimum here? This is an incredibly big deal to me, and is a massive disturbance.

Need some serious advice,
-Samuel

 

[Shyne88]

The Rosary is my weapon…

make it yours.

 

[trmyjs]

This is something that a lot people struggle with. I’m no expert in this area, but I’ll give you some advice that helped me get over this…

Let Our Lady help you. Every time you begin to feel even the slightest temptation, say 5 Hail Mary’s. Pray the Rosary daily. It’s such a great weapon.

One time somebody said on here that we should go to Confession for healing first, then forgiveness. Next time you go to Confession let Jesus heal you. Let Him make you a new person.

Spend a lot of time in prayer, reading Scripture, etc., to distract yourself.

Remind yourself that it’s not worth it. I mean, are the few minutes of pleasure really worth the possibility of spending eternity in hell?

God gave you these hormones. He would not have given you them if He didn’t KNOW, 100%, that you can deal with them and use them in accordance with His will. God doesn’t forbid masturbation to be mean, He does it because He loves us. He knows it hurts us and He wants to protect us from this death. I’m 18 years-old. Trust me, I know how tough it is. But we have to have patience and trust in the Lord. When we resist these temptations we’re only preparing ourselves for the greatness that God has prepared for us.

I know right now this seems like an impossible battle to win. However I promise you, that if you flee to God’s refuge things will get easier. You will conquer this.

 

[coolduude]

This is something that a lot people struggle with. I’m no expert in this area, but I’ll give you some advice that helped me get over this…

Let Our Lady help you. Every time you begin to feel even the slightest temptation, say 5 Hail Mary’s. Pray the Rosary daily. It’s such a great weapon.

One time somebody said on here that we should go to Confession for healing first, then forgiveness. Next time you go to Confession let Jesus heal you. Let Him make you a new person.

Spend a lot of time in prayer, reading Scripture, etc., to distract yourself.
**
Remind yourself that it’s not worth it. I mean, are the few minutes of pleasure really worth the possibility of spending eternity in hell?**

God gave you these hormones. He would not have given you them if He didn’t KNOW, 100%, that you can deal with them and use them in accordance with His will. God doesn’t forbid masturbation to be mean, He does it because He loves us. He knows it hurts us and He wants to protect us from this death. I’m 18 years-old. Trust me, I know how tough it is. But we have to have patience and trust in the Lord. When we resist these temptations we’re only preparing ourselves for the greatness that God has prepared for us.

I know right now this seems like an impossible battle to win. However I promise you, that if you flee to God’s refuge things will get easier. You will conquer this.

Bingo at the bold. It’s not worth it. Just because you can’t experience hell doesn’t make it go out of existence. It’s there and it’s real. So, is it worth it?

 

[RitaRocks]

Definitely understand the struggle. Many have dealt with the problems at different stages of their life. The reality is that you are learning at a much younger age then many.

First consider what the catechism states about masturbation:
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”

Second, the Catechism does reveals the sinfulness of the act:
2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

Third, review in the Catechism 1857-1863 and focus on what makes mortal sin and the unintentional ignorance that can diminish the free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders.

Only God and you trully know in your heart, how your behavior and three conditions that are required to cause mortal sin will trully effect your life.

Don’t be discouraged about the sinful act. We all have fallen but we all continue to get back up and ensure you always go to confession. And the most important, as stated earlier on a different post, turn to the Queen of the Rosary for help.

From experience, look at all the triggers in your life and cause you to fall to this sinful nature. Remove all of them (pornography, internet, etc). The only one you can’t remove is Nature of being a young man while growing up. This is where the Rosary comes in. Find a way, everyday that you are walking to school and/or classes to pray the Rosary. Whether it is one decade, one prayer, or just one thought about the Queen of the Rosary, you will find over weeks and months to come, your Life will change. Stay true to the Queen of the Rosary and she promises the following:

1. The Rosary shall be powerful armor against hell. It will destroy vice, **decrease sin **and defeat heresies.
2. It will cause virtue and good works to flourish. It will obtain for souls the abundant mercy of God. It will withdraw the hearts of men from the love of the world and its vanities, and will lift them to the desire of eternal things. Oh, that souls would sanctify themselves by this means.

Hang in there and God Bless. RitaRocks

 

[willofgods]

First off, have you asked these questions to your priest/confessor?

Second, sorry this is long…

To answer your question (though you mention you already read the Catechism entry on this?)(italicization, bolding, and colored text is mine):

CCC 2352 …]To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account
the affective immaturity (you are pubescent, i.e., still maturing),
force of acquired habit, (like you said, it’s a habit)
conditions of anxiety, or
other psychological or social factors (you said it started with social influence…I can only assume these influences are still around?)
that can lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

I’m not your confessor, so I can’t say this with authority, but from your description, your actions seem to be “reduce[d] to a minimum, moral culpability”. That means you shouldn’t worry about it to the point of questioning Catholicism; however, this doesn’t give you the green light to strengthen the habit!
If, as you say,

These struggles have been leading me to doubt and distress over religion.

remember that we all sin. God knows this but take into account that this religion is the Way to God given to us by God that eternally longs for us to be close to Him. God knows you are trying to be good, and if you fail, don’t despair because despair pushes you away from Him; rather, take a look at what led you to that point. Were you stressed? Bored? Alone? Something else? Once you’ve figured that out, you can start planning how to combat that. If you’re stressed, learn how to cope with some other activity. Bored? Then have something fun to do always ready. Alone? Try to avoid this as much as you can. Remember, strong temptations can be a chance to achieve strong spiritual growth.
And as you put it, “it was obviously very satisfying”, but such satisfaction is limited to the body and doesn’t last more than some minutes. The satisfaction of a strong spiritual life is always present and satisfies completely.

As with any other addictive behavior (i.e., addiction) you will likely find yourself able to stop for a while, then fall back into it, then stop again, etc.
What you must remember is that just because you fail once, twice, or seven times seventy times, doesn’t mean you won’t ever be able to stop and should give up trying to quit. It may take a long time, but eventually it’ll become so that it won’t physically hurt (this seems to me parallel to withdrawal “pains” that eventually disappear once you overcome the addiction), and then even become so that it isn’t even a daily challenge.

Finally, I do want to say to you: watch out for scrupulosity…the habit you have is one many fall into at your age but grow out of or overcome; scrupulosity is in some ways potentially harder to get out of because it’s sneakier in that it can be hard to tell if you’re being thorough or scrupulous (masturbation is pretty clear cut; you either do or you don’t).

Don’t give up hope! Remember, God is in your corner of the ring; the Holy Spirit is your coach, so the more you listen to Him, the more you’ll come out as the Champ! As my priest said in the homily a couple weeks back, “Catholics are winners!”

 

[Debora123]

Hi,

About 4 years ago I discovered masturbation via social influence. It was obviously very satisfying, and I began to build a habit, masturbating every few days or so, until stumbling across the article regarding the masturbation within the Cathecism.

I try to be meticulous with the truth. I’m rather scrupulous. I got on my knees and wept over my discovery, I was going to have to undergo the breaking of an ancient, years-old habit. These struggles have been leading me to doubt and distress over religion.

Anyway, to my main point - I’m a pubescent teenager, with almost unbearable hormones. I go to confession week after week, only to relapse. I feel as if my priest is beginning to get aggravated, hearing the same sins over and over again every week from me.

It gets to the point where the built up tension is literally achingly difficult to maintain. I cannot focus in school, or on any task at hand, for that matter, when I am faced with constant sexual tension and frequent arousal.

I find it almost impossible to hold a conversation or be around ladies who I even previously did not find attractive.

On top of all of this, the pains from holding back all of this sexual longing physically aches. In all honesty - it hurts. It feels as if I’m holding back a massive load of pressure and torment just waiting to come out.

I have to ask - is the culpability related to masturbation at a minimum here? This is an incredibly big deal to me, and is a massive disturbance.

Need some serious advice,
-Samuel

Are you in any sports? Sexual energy can be released through physical activity… because sexual energy is, after all, just energy.

Join the cross country and track team or something haha. I was in those 2 sports in high school, and I guarantee masturbation is going to be the LAST thing on your mind when you come home each day after having run 12 miles.

I know everyone is telling you to pray, but I’m going to tell you to RUN - this phase you’re going through is a physiological, bodily thing. Get out there and make your body so physically exhausted that you won’t even THINK about sexual arousal. Do pray though, but definitely combine the 2. Prayer alone doesn’t always work miracles. God helps those who help themselves.

 

[Nate13]

Are you in any sports? Sexual energy can be released through physical activity… because sexual energy is, after all, just energy.

Join the cross country and track team or something haha. I was in those 2 sports in high school, and I guarantee masturbation is going to be the LAST thing on your mind when you come home each day after having run 12 miles.

Agreed. This is the same advice I would give except maybe find a contact sport so you have an outlet to vent some of the frustration

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

I’d recommend taking up a martial art as a way to deal with the frustration: most of what they teach is self-mastery, while maybe a third is actual combat training.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Hi,

About 4 years ago I discovered masturbation via social influence. It was obviously very satisfying, and I began to build a habit, masturbating every few days or so, until stumbling across the article regarding the masturbation within the Cathecism.

I try to be meticulous with the truth. I’m rather scrupulous. I got on my knees and wept over my discovery, I was going to have to undergo the breaking of an ancient, years-old habit. These struggles have been leading me to doubt and distress over religion.

Anyway, to my main point - I’m a pubescent teenager, with almost unbearable hormones. I go to confession week after week, only to relapse. I feel as if my priest is beginning to get aggravated, hearing the same sins over and over again every week from me.

It gets to the point where the built up tension is literally achingly difficult to maintain. I cannot focus in school, or on any task at hand, for that matter, when I am faced with constant sexual tension and frequent arousal.

I find it almost impossible to hold a conversation or be around ladies who I even previously did not find attractive.

On top of all of this, the pains from holding back all of this sexual longing physically aches. In all honesty - it hurts. It feels as if I’m holding back a massive load of pressure and torment just waiting to come out.

I have to ask - is the culpability related to masturbation at a minimum here? This is an incredibly big deal to me, and is a massive disturbance.

Need some serious advice,
-Samuel

First, know you are not alone. I struggled with this for almost three years, and trust me, it wasn’t easy in the slightest. I had the same exact problem: No matter how much I prayed, no matter how much I exercised, nothing worked. Well, I then read a book on Saint Anthony, and in it it talked about how he struggled with sexual temptation, and about how he begged the Augustinians to let him join the Order, lest he lose his soul. Well, when he joined the Friars Minor, he learned that Saint Francis had three ways of fighting off sexual temptation. These are:

Discipline
Running and
Cold Water.

When it comes to discipline, simply say no, no, and no again. Pray, and simply forget about it. It’ll go away eventually.

When it comes to running, when tempted, run up and back down your street. It works so well that the results are almost instantaneous.

And finally, the third trick, the trick of running into a cold stream of water. Since I didn’t have access to a cold stream of water, I instead used the shower, which was the place that I had greatest temptation. It works amazing, as you can imagine. Trust me when I say nothing douses the flames of lust like ice cold water.

For more advice, I would recommend weekly confession, as you are already doing. Don’t feel that you are wasting the Priest’s time, and don’t feel that he is getting agitated with you. It’s his job to be there and forgive sins, and to help you avoid them. Instead of just confessing your sins, ask Father the next time you’re in the confessional for help in combating this addiction. I ask Priests all the time for advice, and they’re always calm and never fail in telling great answers.

Finally, pray the Rosary everyday, and pray to Saint Augustine. Saint Augustine was a Priest that dealt firsthand with the devastating effects that sexual sin has, and he was able to finally defeat, as was I.

Remember that this is an addiction, not a habit. Officially, a habit is something that you feel the urge to do, but if you choose not to than there will be no physical consequences. However, an addiction will have physical and mental consequences. I can definitely vouch that going off of masturbation has both physical and mental consequences. And obviously, as you know, it is Mortal. It will throw you into the flames of Hell. One question I frequently asked myself was “Is four questions of great pleasure worth an eternity of hellfire?” The answer was always no, and the fear of Hell helped me substantially in the fight for my soul.

Now that you know what you’re dealing with both morally and physically, know that there is hope: Jesus says, “With God, all things are possible.” Well, why wouldn’t this be? God is so loving, so forgiving, so understanding, that he’ll help you, give you graces against this addiction every time you confess it, and he’ll even go further, by forgiving you and saving you from eternal damnation, and instead sending you to Heaven, where you will be eternally happy with him and the Saints! With this most great and wonderful hope in mind, pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, pray the Act of Contrition every night before going bed, and when you’re going into a possibly dangerous situation, and pray to Saint Joseph, the image of man that we should all be striving for.

The reason I recommend praying so much is because I couldn’t quit until I started to pray an hour to an hour and a half a day. Don’t be daunted at this, as it really doesn’t take that long. Just space it out between the day, and before you know it you’re only praying about five or ten minutes at a time.

If you have any other questions or need anymore advice, feel free to message me. I have and currently am helping someone else on this site with this very problem, and I have no problem helping someone else. It’s tough, and it’s scientifically proven to be harder than some drug addictions. Take heart, keep your weapon of mass destruction with you at all times, and keep praying.

 

[mwncheesehead]

Are you in any sports? Sexual energy can be released through physical activity… because sexual energy is, after all, just energy.

Join the cross country and track team or something haha. I was in those 2 sports in high school, and I guarantee masturbation is going to be the LAST thing on your mind when you come home each day after having run 12 miles.

I know everyone is telling you to pray, but I’m going to tell you to RUN - this phase you’re going through is a physiological, bodily thing. Get out there and make your body so physically exhausted that you won’t even THINK about sexual arousal. Do pray though, but definitely combine the 2. Prayer alone doesn’t always work miracles. God helps those who help themselves.

This is good advice, Deborah.

 

[Debora123]

This is good advice, Deborah.

Haha, Thanks! And yeah, physiologically it is the ONLY way to do it.