Pursue or not pursue?

[different_division]

I have a tendency to be indifferent towards women. Because of this I don’t trust my judgement when it comes to women. I am drawn to a certain woman, but I don’t know if it is a result of my indifference to women or not. Should I pursue this or leave it alone? I have no idea what is going on here.

 

[Irishmom2]

If you are usually indifferent, but now drawn to someone, that sounds like you are interested in her. Pursue.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

An older friend of mine in college gave me the following advice when I’d ask these questions about should I go after so-and-so or not.

He said, “If you ask, that means you want to.” He was right.

 

[GiftofMercy]

I have a tendency to be indifferent towards women. Because of this I don’t trust my judgement when it comes to women. I am drawn to a certain woman, but I don’t know if it is a result of my indifference to women or not. Should I pursue this or leave it alone? I have no idea what is going on here.

Do you know this woman, are you friends with her?

 

[different_division]

If you are usually indifferent, but now drawn to someone, that sounds like you are interested in her. Pursue.

You can’t run before you learn how to walk. I think God wants me to learn friendship with women first and I don’t know how I am supposed to do that. My opening statement was a bit dishonest, I am indifferent towards women 24/7.

 

[Irishmom2]

Well, first rule of friendship: be honest.
Not cool to tell us that 2 weeks later.

I am not sure what your OP was all about then at this point. No, do not pursue anyone you are not indifferent toward.

 

[different_division]

Well, first rule of friendship: be honest.
Not cool to tell us that 2 weeks later.

I am not sure what your OP was all about then at this point. No, do not pursue anyone you are not indifferent toward.

It just dawned on me that I was being dishonest.

 

[QwertyGirl]

I have a tendency to be indifferent towards women. Because of this I don’t trust my judgement when it comes to women. I am drawn to a certain woman, but I don’t know if it is a result of my indifference to women or not. Should I pursue this or leave it alone? I have no idea what is going on here.

Is it possible you just aren’t attracted to women? Maybe you have a different orientation?

 

[different_division]

different_division:

I have a tendency to be indifferent towards women. Because of this I don’t trust my judgement when it comes to women. I am drawn to a certain woman, but I don’t know if it is a result of my indifference to women or not. Should I pursue this or leave it alone? I have no idea what is going on here.

Is it possible you just aren’t attracted to women? Maybe you have a different orientation?

I thought I was asexual, but God made me realize that I was deceiving myself so I wouldn’t have to deal with women. I feel pretty stupid about that. Anyways, I am still not sure why I am focused on this particular woman. I feel like I am spinning my wheels posting here.

 

[JanR]

If you feel drawn to a certain woman, then you’re not indifferent. My advice would be to try to get to know this woman, take it slow and easy, and see where it goes. There’s a reason you’re drawn to her, and it’s important you know what that reason is. There may be more than one, and you need to be aware of what qualities attract you to her, and as you get to know her, what qualities repel you, as well. Does anything tip the scales one way or the other?

 

[Irishmom2]

You can’t run before you learn how to walk. I think God wants me to learn friendship with women first and I don’t know how I am supposed to do that. My opening statement was a bit dishonest, I am indifferent towards women 24/7.

@JanR, Well this was what he said when I said the same to him.

 

[JanR]

I don’t quite understand. How can one be indifferent to women 24/7, yet still be drawn to a woman. There’s a contradiction there.

 

[different_division]

If you feel drawn to a certain woman, then you’re not indifferent. My advice would be to try to get to know this woman, take it slow and easy, and see where it goes. There’s a reason you’re drawn to her, and it’s important you know what that reason is. There may be more than one, and you need to be aware of what qualities attract you to her, and as you get to know her, what qualities repel you, as well. Does anything tip the scales one way or the other?

How do I know that this is not some kind of spiritual burden type of thing? I may be indifferent, but I still serve God. If this is the case then it would probably be better not to get to know her and muddy the waters.

 

[Haru]

God made men and women for each other. Feeling of attraction towards other human beings is something completely natural and normal.

What I am worried about is how you say you’re indifferent. This might not be your case but a lot of people who feel this way usual suffer from some sort of childhood trauma that was caused by a female figure in your past (someone like your mom, aunt or sister) which has made you distance yourself and build a wall between you and other females. Sometimes this indifference could also arise due the absence of a father figure in people’s lives. Again, I’m not saying this is what is going on with you, but what I am trying to suggest is to look back on your life and childhood and see if their is anything that has caused you to distrust women and seal away your emotions. Are you perhaps afraid of someone getting to know your true self and then hurting you?

If all of the above is a big no, then the only other hint lies in what you just said - You feel this is a spiritual burden. Let’s elaborate on that. In what sense do you feel this is a spiritual burden? Are you saying that by getting to know her, you’d ,for whatever reason, end up distancing yourself from God?

 

[different_division]

God made men and women for each other. Feeling of attraction towards other human beings is something completely natural and normal.

What I am worried about is how you say you’re indifferent. This might not be your case but a lot of people who feel this way usual suffer from some sort of childhood trauma that was caused by a female figure in your past (someone like your mom, aunt or sister) which has made you distance yourself and build a wall between you and other females. Sometimes this indifference could also arise due the absence of a father figure in people’s lives. Again, I’m not saying this is what is going on with you, but what I am trying to suggest is to look back on your life and childhood and see if their is anything that has caused you to distrust women and seal away your emotions. Are you perhaps afraid of someone getting to know your true self and then hurting you?

If all of the above is a big no, then the only other hint lies in what you just said - You feel this is a spiritual burden. Let’s elaborate on that. In what sense do you feel this is a spiritual burden? Are you saying that by getting to know her, you’d ,for whatever reason, end up distancing yourself from God?

I am reluctant to say this because I find the people here are so unbelieving. Anyways by spiritual burden I can give you an example. Decades ago, God kind of spiritually tethered me to a girl so that whenever the devil would pull on her soul I would feel it in some way, so I was literally in a tug of war with the devil. The bond was finally broken when the girl/woman died, had an experience with God and came back to life. If you are unbelieving, you are always going to try to frame this in a way that makes sense to you and will end up questioning my perception of what happened. It is really irksome when you tell the truth and people end up questioning it.

 

[Haru]

In that case have you consulted a priest? I know there might be some priests who brush it off as nothing but you should talk to a few priests get to get a second opinion and ask them why its happening. As you say there might be a spiritual reason behind it. Since I don’t know the details I can’t comment further.