Pushy Ministers/Altar helper outers

[anon8387311]

Hi, several times now when in silent devotional prayer before mass, or when praying and mesitating on the rosary I have found myself being disturbed rather abruptly by a minister (or someone who lights the candles etc and opens the book to the right page etc) with no regard for the fact I am actually talking to god right now … To ask me to do a reading because the regular reader is late/absent.

Am I the only one who thinks this is uncourteous and verging on Uncatholic? The last two times when I have said No and that I do not want to read that day … I have either found myself being talked or persuaded into agreeing or being asked why I would not read.

Yes and No should mean just that and I feel I shouldn’t have to explain or justify my answer if I say no and they should move along and ask someone else in the congregation.

Sadly many ministers think otherwise so reluctantly I have complained to the church in question and informed them that perhaps the ministers or Volunteers should be taught some respectful people skills before being allowed to organise things before mass.

 

[1ke]

Am I the only one who thinks this is uncourteous and verging on Uncatholic?

My guess would be yes.

 

[CTBcin]

I don’t think it’s too unreasonable for a minister/server to ask about reading. Often, those who are scheduled show up late or not at all, unfortunately, and last minute arrangements need to be made. I think you might be somewhat harsh here.

However, I do agree that your no should mean no. You don’t have to justify it to them. So that does seem a little rude to me. I’m trying to think of why they’d be so pushy.

 

[anon8387311]

Of course I agree but if someone is on there knees hands joined in deep conversation or has rosary beads in hands and is visibily in prayer, and there are others In the church one would think it better to ask someone who has said there prayers or who isn’t talking to someone they value above all things right? Or at least wait they’re turn

Personally I wouldn’t dream of going up to anyone saying prayers to ask or talk to them about anything until they look like they’ve finished it are just twiddling their thumbs with nothing to do except wait around likea few people around me where doing so.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The minister probably thinks that since you are so reverent in your prayer, you will be charitable and reverent in helping them out at the last minute with the readings also. I am further presuming there aren’t 6 other people sitting in the church whom they could ask, so they turn to you.

All you need to do is smile and say, “No thank you, I’m not comfortable doing the reading, I’m sorry” and eventually they will stop asking.

With respect to the more general question of being interrupted at prayer, unless you are praying in a completely isolated location like your own living room at 2 am or out in the woods, people will interrupt sometimes. It gives you a chance to practice humility and charity. Padre Pio used to talk about how many times he would get interrupted while trying to say a Rosary. I know it can make one jump out of their skin sometimes if one is really focusing on the Lord and then Mr. Altar Minister interrupts, but you have to be charitable and just offer it up to the Lord.

 

[anon8387311]

I hear you. I just want to add that yes I did oblige and do the readings (despite being light headed and unwell and full of anxiety and having had 4 or less hours sleep last night) I did the reading. I should add also that there where others in the church who where there and for the want of a better word “twiddling thumbs” and if not the minister could have read it her self, but I did it and offered it like I did the past 3 times.

I just thought Church should be the one place one can retreat into the sanctity of peaceful silence (if anywhere) and since church isn’t open 24/7 like years ago it’s more important people can have that free time to just Be with the lord before mass if they chose.

But you raise some good points so thank you.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It was nice of you to do it.

I understand not wanting to do it. Many years ago I quit going to daily Mass partly because the priest kept asking me to read and at that point in my life I was struggling with some things and just didn’t feel up to reading at Mass a lot, nor did I feel like I could explain this to the priest. I still feel bad about that. He was a nice priest and I’m sure he just saw what he was doing as being inclusive, but sometimes you have to tell someone kindly but firmly NO, because once you say yes a couple of times, they will ask you all the time.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

[…] but I did it and offered it like I did the past 3 times.

The emphasis is mine. This is why you keep getting asked. Let your “no” be a true “no” and, as @Tis_Bearself said, eventually they will stop asking.

I, too, have been annoyed by people interrupting my prayers before or after Mass (or during silent Eucharistic Adoration, a pet peeve of mine ), but in some cases I saw that it clearly was necessary. For all those times when it wasn’t, however…

 

[angel12]

Am I the only one who thinks this is uncourteous and verging on Uncatholic?

I can understand considering it discourteous. Uncatholic seems quite a stretch. It doesn’t speak at all to one’s faith.