Q&A during homily

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bluerose

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I’m not sure how often this happens at other parishes, but it happens weekly at ours.

Father is in the habit of asking questions during the homily. Today, it was “What does Eucharist mean?” among other questions. It’s a small church and, due to capacity restrictions, only about 15 people are in attendance. He walks up and down the aisle and waits for people to answer. Now, this is an older congregation and most of us, I believe, were brought up that the homily is the priest’s instruction and explanation of the readings, so no one answers unless Father is standing right next to them and looking at them. He is Nigerian and also has a thick accent which makes some of his questions hard to understand. He also resorts to comments about how quiet we are and why we don’t talk and answer him.

Well, my husband and I, personally, feel very uncomfortable with this. I know it’s Father’s way of trying to engage us, but it has backfired a few times when someone either gave the wrong answer or misunderstood Father’s question and gave an incorrect or confused answer. If someone answers and Father says, “No, that’s not it”, then that person is embarrassed and usually won’t ever attempt to answer again. I have rarely attended a Mass where the priest did this (mostly they answer their own questions: “So what does Eucharist mean? Well, the definition is… which means…”) Today, one woman responded with, “Explain it to us” which kind of took Father aback. In the two years he’s been in our parish, he hasn’t gotten it that people are not comfortable and he makes it a point to try to “shame” us into responding, either during the homily or before the blessing and dismissal (“I don’t know why you won’t talk.” etc.)

I am scheduling a time to go to confession with him this week and I’m wondering if I should bring up how my husband and I feel and that most parishioners probably share that feeling. No one seems comfortable telling him and, to be honest, I’m not sure I do either, but I am also embarrassed for him and it makes for awkward feelings during Mass. To clarify, I know a lot of the answers to the questions he asks, but I don’t want to feel like “teacher’s/Father’s pet” by always being the one person to raise my hand just to end the awkward silences.

Does anyone else have this problem? I know the parishioners are not going to change. Many are old school, only the priests talks during the homily, and I do feel bad for Father.
 
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I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all! I think it’s very interesting and will help people stay engaged throughout mass.

I feel so sorry for our priests as well. They are often put in situations where no matter what they do, someone will have an issue with it.
 
Frankly, I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it. The priest has been communicating this way for 2 years without altering his methods. I don’t think talking to him about it is going to work.

The parishioners are not in the wrong to feel uncomfortable with this approach. They just don’t have any power to change it.

It’s likely that the priest will move onto another parish before long and the next priest may not use this style of communicating.

I understand your discomfort. I just don’t see a way of making a difference.
 
My priest does this at the children’s Mass, but not the regular ones.
 
I think it’s fine for you to give some polite feedback on this practice to your priest. I can see where some might be uncomfortable with it. I’ve mostly seen it done with schoolchildren who have been preparing for a sacrament and are likely to know the answers from their prep classes.

However, I don’t think confession is the right time to bring it up. Right now, many priests are putting time limits on confessions or otherwise trying to move them right along, since they have a backlog of confession appointments. He would probably appreciate it if your confession was brief and just stuck to telling your sins and getting absolved.

I would suggest that you make a separate appointment with Father at some less hectic time outside confession times, to talk about this. But be prepared for the possibility that he may ignore your feedback and just keep right on doing it because he thinks it’s good for people.
 
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This is very likely. African priests tend to be more interactive with the congregation and use the homilies as more of a teaching tool than a time to just give their thoughts and reflections.
 
I’ve been to Masses in the past where the priest might ask a quick question, but nothing like this. I’m not a big fan of it and things like that do tend to make me slightly uncomfortable. I’m willing to bet his Nigerian background might influence the way he gives his homilies.

On a separate note, I couldn’t help but think of this:

 
Our parish preist doesn’t do this, but last year when he took the month off to go home to Poland the priest who covered for him did this. He was from Poland also but about 30 years younger. It is uncommon, I didn’t mind it though. He would ask the question, someone would shout it out and if they got the right answer he’d use it and continue on with the homily.

You could ask to meet with your priest about this but I think you could also just speak to him briefly after mass. I don’t think it has to be a long winded drawn out conversation. Something quick such as “Father I know you asked at the end of mass today, ‘why won’t you all talk?’ We are quiet because you are the expert Father, we want to learn from you!” could get your point across in a non-confrontational way.
 
Agree with the comment suggesting you respectfully bring it up, but not during Confession. Confessionals are for Confession. Not for telling the priest what he’s doing wrong in his homilies.

This could be partly a cultural difference, as some have suggested… or maybe it’s just his personality. In my limited experience, sometimes people from culturally ‘warmer’ cultures seem to feel bewildered about the cultural norms of those of us from what they perceive as ‘colder’ cultures (I don’t know if that applies to Nigeria)… but then again there are occasionally rare people who grew up in my own ‘cold’ country who act similarly, so it’s not necessarily cultural (and might just be the awkwardness of someone who thinks he’s developed a dynamic leadership style, regardless of its actual results). But either way… yeah, in my experience, people who for whatever reason are personally expressive and entrenched in trying to drag specific responses out of others, seem to think there’s something ‘wrong’ with those of us who are, to their eyes, frustratingly passive or quiet. And sometimes these expressive people think they can drag expressiveness out of us. Haha. Despite the concrete evidence that when dragged, a bull digs its heels in all the firmer.

Like you say yourself, this priest acknowledges people don’t respond well to his approach. (Telling you all: “I don’t know why you won’t talk,” etc.) So he knows. He just (seemingly?) doesn’t care. At least not enough to change his approach, or (even once in two years?) ask someone privately for feedback, then listen to it. For whatever reason, he seems to think his approach is right, and your response is wrong.

Anyway, however uncomfortable it is… if he keeps acting bewildered about why y’all keep resisting his attempts to shame you into question-and-answer sessions during homilies, I’d try to find a respectful opportunity to (briefly!) let him know that in your local culture/community, people are raised with the cultural norm that the respectful thing to do during a priest’s homily is listen, not talk back. And that there’s even a strong cultural norm against talking back, that people internalize even from childhood, not wanting to be considered “teacher’s pets”. (If this were me I’d share a personal example like how I was once literally approached by another student at school who told me to stop answering the teacher so much during class, because it was making all the students hate me. Haha.) Politely let him know that he’s unlikely to radically change your local cultural norms by simply persisting in asking questions during homilies. Let him know that most people feel embarrassed and awkward at these times, and that, especially with an older crowd, this is deeply culturally ingrained and unlikely to change. Or at least, it might take a different and very gradual approach to get to the point where people feel comfortable.

Then it’s up to him how he proceeds.

🤷‍♀️
 
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Very unusual during a homily. Never seen it. Even in RCIA class when it is a small group and people are supposed to ask questions because they are learning, most won’t in front of others but only after class one on one or by email!
 
bluerose said:
Father is in the habit of asking questions during the homily.
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That would be cool as long as you are allowed to answer with I don’t know. Giving the right answer would be awesome. 🙂

But, I don’t like the idea that he shames people who can’t answer, that’s not cool, it might frighten people to not wanting to return. 😦

If he asks the congregation questions during his homily, are you allowed to raise your hand to ask him questions? I always have SO many questions during a homily, but never get the chance to ask.
 
This has happened to me. Several times. When singled out, I quickly tell Father I’m not going to be quizzed at Mass.
 
I read the subject of this thread and thought to myself “that can only go badly”!

Father: “Who here can tell me what the Eucharist is?”

Congregation: crickets

Definitely talk to him and gently suggest he adopts a different preaching style, just do it separate from confession.
 
InThePew said:
I read the subject of this thread and thought to myself “that can only go badly”!

Father: “Who here can tell me what the Eucharist is?”

Congregation: crickets
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It actually can work pretty well with a large attendance and people being allowed to shout out answers rather than be called upon.

The main problem the OP is having stems from the fact that this is a small church and with only 15 people there, folks feel put on the spot. If there were 300 people in attendance (which would be a normal amount at many Sunday Masses here in non-COVID times) then the answering would be more vigorous and more anonymous.
 
It might, but there are still a lot of people who view the Church as a sacred space, not a town meeting hall (both venues of course being perfectly proper and fine for their use), and who view the Mass as Liturgy of the Word and Liturgy of the Eucharist, presided over by the priest. Homilies, too, are supposed to be given by a priest or deacon, not a lay person.

To many people, having lay people answering questions during a homily has the appearance of elevating the answers of lay people ‘above’ that of the priest or, more often, giving them the same ‘authority’ as the priest.

To them, it speaks of an attempt to clericalize the laity, who are presumed to be panting for an opportunity to ‘participate’ on an equal basis as pretty much everything the priest or (in older times) male altar servers ‘did’ is something that John and especially Jane Justfolks can ‘do’.

I’m not saying it is the case, necessarily.

But in my opinion the homily is for Father To speak. If Father wishes his flock to ponder on the topic, list points in the bulletin (preferably with Scripture references) from said weekly homily for the people to discuss and ponder after Mass.

As others also noted, not everybody is Eddie Extrovert or Waldo Wellversed, ready to jump into public speaking and discourse at the drop of a sentence.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
It actually can work pretty well with a large attendance and people being allowed to shout out answers rather than be called upon.
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I wouldn’t want to try it! Trying to get the answer the priest is looking for could end up being like pulling teeth; besides that, there’s the difficulty of inaudible, long winded and irrelevant responses (a bit like shared PoF really!)
 
Some priests and Protestant ministers here do that for family services, but it’s aimed at the children who all sit in the front. It’s often quite cute.

With adults though, I’m not a fan either. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it easily goes over into patronizing or condescending territory. Colleagues who do that make make me feel like I’m back to school, when I came for worship. I much prefer celebrants who simply say what they have to say.
 
I agree with @Tis_Bearself and Fr. @InThePew. The Q&A business can work well, as I expect most of us have observed for ourselves from time to time. But it can be overdone. If it’s something the preacher does only occasionally, such as a couple of questions in the course of today’s homily and then give it a rest for a week or two, no one is going to accuse him of doing the wrong thing. Similarly, a large congregation that affords a degree of anonymity would be more suitable than a small one, and it’s obviously going to work better in a cultural environment where everyone is naturally chatty and talkative rather than shy and reserved. I think it ought to be possible to suggest this to the pastor diplomatically, in a way that’s going to be helpful rather than confrontational.
 
The “Socratic Method” can be highly effective when used skillfully. I’ve even used it in Statistics classes.

However, it’s not the be-all and end-all, and generally needs the student to be close enough in level already to be able to formulate the leap requested.

When someone does figure it out that way, it’s more likely to stick than if they’d been told.

I’ve seen priests use it well, but I’d have to see the actual homily to draw any conclusion.
 
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