Question about a penance I received

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Hello,

I recently just got back from confession and I was given 2 parts to my penance. One was to say a decade of the rosary and reflect on the second sorrowful mystery, which I did.

However, the other half was to put an internet filter on my computer to avoid explicit content. He also heavily recommended one that involves a second person who would see every website I visit. This part of the penance, I have conflicting morals with. I use a lot of chat services to keep in touch with friends, some in other countries. These are people I trust and love and who support and love me too. These filters will block my communication with them and I will lose a lot of people in my life. This part of the penance is something I just don’t agree with, especially not the filter that requires another person. I don’t want people to know about it.

What should I do? Can I do my first penance twice or substitute the entire rosary and contemplation for each mystery in place of the filter? What happens if I do one part of my penance but not the other? It’s just not something I agree with or am okay doing.
 
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Actually do the penance and so you don’t have to worry about the problem. There is nothing wrong with an internet filter. In fact, thank you for reminding me to put one on my computer.
 
Well…the filter itself isn’t the problem. The problem is I don’t want it to force me to cut people I love out of my life because a service I use to talk to them has people that use it for explicit content. And by this I mean Discord and Telegram
 
If you feel you can’t do the second part, during your next confession ask the priest for another penance. Your sins are forgiven don’t worry about that. You have a debt to pay but the priest will happily give you another Penance. There may be filters that will work for you, however.
 
Kensei said:
These filters will block my communication with them and I will lose a lot of people in my life. This part of the penance is something I just don’t agree with, especially not the filter that requires another person. I don’t want people to know about it.
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Why will you lose people? If someone is doing something that is blocked by a porn filter, are they going to help you get to heaven?

Obedience is key.

Accountability partners help folks to swallow their pride and really get serious about the problem:

 
Kensei said:
Well…the filter itself isn’t the problem. The problem is I don’t want it to force me to cut people I love out of my life because a service I use to talk to them has people that use it for explicit content. And by this I mean Discord and Telegram
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I’m sure you can customize privacy settings to selectively block everything other than the ppl you love. (Friends list etc)
 
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Kensei said:
I recently just got back from confession and I was given 2 parts to my penance. One was to say a decade of the rosary and reflect on the second sorrowful mystery, which I did.

However, the other half was to put an internet filter on my computer to avoid explicit content. He also heavily recommended one that involves a second person who would see every website I visit… I use a lot of chat services to keep in touch with friends, some in other countries. These are people I trust and love and … I will lose a lot of people in my life. This part of the penance is something I just don’t agree with, especially not the filter that requires another person. I don’t want people to know about it.

What should I do? Can I do my first penance twice or substitute the entire rosary and contemplation for each mystery in place of the filter? What happens if I do one part of my penance but not the other? It’s just not something I agree with or am okay doing.
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I hate to second-guess any penance that a priest imposes — and that is not something we as Catholics should generally do — but having to involve a second person in installing a filter, to my mind, comes very close to having to break your own confessional seal. We already had a very spirited discussion on the forum a few weeks back, about whether a criminal who confesses his crime is then obliged to turn himself in, not as part of his penance, but as a part of restitution. Many people have very strong sentiments against this, in that it supposedly breaks the seal of confession. But if they are correct, then, to my mind, you shouldn’t have to involve a second person in installing the filter. I fail to see the difference between that example, and this one — either way, you are revealing something that happened in confession, but in neither case are you disclosing that it was something discussed in the confessional. For all anyone knows, the criminal just decided to confess on his own, and for all anyone knows, you just decided to get an “internet buddy” to help you install a filter. You never have to discuss with anyone what you said, or what you were told, in the confessional.

As far as having to break contact with some of your friends, as long as they are not friends who have been leading you into sin, I think it’s asking too much, to ask you basically to abandon friendships. Some priests are not tech-savvy and may not fully understand how so many life tasks and social outlets are tied together though online access and presence, or how online-only friendships can be “real friendships”.

Just telling you what I’d do, I’d either go back to this priest and explain my issues with his penance, or find another priest, explain what you explained here, and ask if he can give you an alternate penance. What you cannot do is to revise the penance of your own initiative (doing the first penance twice or assigning yourself a rosary in lieu of the second penance). That’s not allowed.

And just out of curiosity, how is this something you have “conflicting morals” with?
 
Thank you so much for this reply. As for conflicting morals with, that may have been bad wording on my part. It is more just me being afraid that this penance would force them out of my life, simply because the way I contact them has been abused by other users for explicit purposes. I do think I found a way around it though. Rather than getting a hard filter, I’ve put safe search options on my browsers and made my accounts force filter explicit content, which is something I wasn’t aware I could do. This still would count, correct?
 
Kensei said:
Thank you so much for this reply. As for conflicting morals with, that may have been bad wording on my part. It is more just me being afraid that this penance would force them out of my life, simply because the way I contact them has been abused by other users for explicit purposes. I do think I found a way around it though. Rather than getting a hard filter, I’ve put safe search options on my browsers and made my accounts force filter explicit content, which is something I wasn’t aware I could do. This still would count, correct?
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It sounds like, strictly speaking, you are doing what the priest said to do. “Strongly recommending” and “you must do this” are two different things. I wouldn’t go back to the priest and discuss this further with him.

I hope it all works out for you.
 
Thank you so so much. Your reply quelled so much anxiety and fear in my heart. I really appreciate you taking time to respond
 
The priest gave you that penance for a reason. Perhaps you should do as he asks until your next confession. He didn’t pull it out of thin air for no reason. He did it to help you.
 
Praise God you can actually attend confession right now. It is a grace, where so many others cannot. Attend to your penance well. Put God first, not friends and family.
 
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