Question about communion

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nichjake

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I suppose I’d better give the background for my question, I promise to be bried so excuse my sentance structure.

My best friend is going through a very hard time and asked me to go to mass with him. I’m an Atheist. The only reason I’m going is because he’s having a rough time and needs my support right now. I know I cannot accept communion, I don’t plan to.

My question is how do I respectfully refuse communion? I asked some ex-Catholics on one of the Atheist forums I’m a part of and one person mentioned putting my arms across my chest when I get up there. Is this acceptable or would it be better if I just stayed in my seat? If this is acceptable can someone describe the procedure in detail? While the question is posed can someone describe the process of communion in general for me so I know what to expect?

I just want to get it straight from “the source” sort of speak so I don’t make a fool of myself or embarass my friend. I want to get through this as smoothly as possible without stepping on people’s toes or insulting anyone.

Thank you so much everyone.
 
I would recommend you stay in your seat. There is less chance of misunderstanding on the part of the priest or EMHC. When you go into the church with your friend before Mass starts, take your seat at the end of the pew. That way, either everybody will go out the side opposite you (and you can just stay where you are), or if the line will go out 'on your side, you just step out first, move back slightly, motion the others in the pew to go forward and when they have all left, you simply go back in the pew and reseat yourself. Thank you for your care and concern for your friend and for others.
 
The easiest thing to do is nothing; that is, when everyone gets up and the first bench starts emptying as people go up to receive Communion, simply let everyone pass by you (either get out of the bench and let them pass, or sit down and let them pass) and then if you stepped out, return immediately to your place and sit down. You’ll be fine.

Elsewhere in these fora there are discussions as to the rightness or wrongness of going up to receive a blessing. You are welcome to look through them (they generally say you shouldn’t); but the world is not going to stop if you do go up for a blessing; should you choose to, it may be better if you are going up in the line the priest is distributing Communion to. But in any event, don’t worry. The support you are offering your friend is important, more important than what to some might appear to be hair splitting.
 
Stay in your seat and you’ll be just fine.😉

By the way, you are a blessing to your friend. What a kind gesture to someone in need!
 
The best thing to do is to stay seated. The situation where you go up with your arms crossed over your chest is used by some to receive a blessing. This blessing should not be taking place during Communion (though I know many will disagree with me but that is an issue for another thread). Anyway, you can explain to your friend (whom I assume is Catholic) that you cannot go forward to receive Holy Communion because you are not Catholic. As a Catholic he/she should understand this and not push the issue. If he/she does not understand, you can simply open the missalette and I believe that at the front there is an explanation requesting non-Catholics to abstain from receiving Holy Communion.

On another note, let me say that your friend sounds as though he/she has found a good friend in you. I applaud your compassion. God bless you.
 
nichjake said:
I suppose I’d better give the background for my question, I promise to be bried so excuse my sentance structure.

My best friend is going through a very hard time and asked me to go to mass with him. I’m an Atheist. The only reason I’m going is because he’s having a rough time and needs my support right now. I know I cannot accept communion, I don’t plan to.

My question is how do I respectfully refuse communion? I asked some ex-Catholics on one of the Atheist forums I’m a part of and one person mentioned putting my arms across my chest when I get up there. Is this acceptable or would it be better if I just stayed in my seat? If this is acceptable can someone describe the procedure in detail? While the question is posed can someone describe the process of communion in general for me so I know what to expect?

I just want to get it straight from “the source” sort of speak so I don’t make a fool of myself or embarass my friend. I want to get through this as smoothly as possible without stepping on people’s toes or insulting anyone.

Thank you so much everyone.
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Personally I believe that anyone not receiving Holy Communion should just remain in their pew, even Catholics who cannot receive.
 
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