Question about guilt

[AveChriste11]

Hi everyone!

I hope I put this in the right place, and if not – please move it to the appropriate forum.

So the more I think I understand about Catholicism and what the Church teaches, I start realizing that there’s a lot of other stuff which I don’t understand. It seems all too cliche anymore when speaking of Catholicism that you’re always feeling guilty of this or that, when you attend Mass, go to confession, pray, etc.

I’ve also heard talk about the “Via Dolorosa” which is the path that Jesus walked concerning the Stations of the Cross, am I right about that? There seems to be so much emphasis on the passion and suffering of Jesus, that it seems to imply that we too must suffer throughout our life as He did. The whole idea of suffering confuses me, does the Church really teach us to be miserable with ourselves forever? I know when our hearts are troubled we can always bring it to God in prayer, but surely we shouldn’t walk around throughout life hating ourselves and the opportunity which God granted to us.

This seems even more true when it comes to psychological issues. There are a lot of people out there who struggle with depression, same sex attraction, gender dysphoria, etc. who bear a cross that not many could take on their own. Such heavy crosses can indeed be disheartening to even the kindest soul. What is a person to do? Are we supposed to be guilty and miserable forever? I would be grateful for any of your insights. It will help me to understand my own spiritual journey and how it relates to the truths which the Catholic Church has always taught, if I should indeed choose to embrace them.

 

[RoseMary131]

It seems all too cliche anymore when speaking of Catholicism that you’re always feeling guilty of this or that, when you attend Mass, go to confession, pray, etc.

… does the Church really teach us to be miserable with ourselves forever? I know when our hearts are troubled we can always bring it to God in prayer, but surely we shouldn’t walk around throughout life hating ourselves and the opportunity which God granted to us.

Are we supposed to be guilty and miserable forever?

We are not called to be miserable or suffering from guilt. Nor should we be hating ourselves.

Guilt is actually a good gift, provided we use it as it is intended. We feel guilt when we have done something wrong. By asking God to forgive us (and sometimes we need to ask others to forgive us), we are doing what the guilt was designed to do… stopping the improper behavior and seeking forgiveness. At this point, we release the guilt.

Holding on to guilt - is not good for us spiritually or otherwise.

God made us with many emotions. Cheerful, thankful, glad, happy, rejoicing are all gifts from God. He designed us to enjoy those emotions.

Do a internet search for those positive emotions in the Bible.

 

[Quaesitor]

For me it’s not a matter of guilt, I go to confession not out of guilt but out of desire to be free of these things that are holding me back personally from being free and happy. It’s a healing. The problem I see a lot, here on this site especially, is that many people are scrupulous and in and of itself is a condition that many people need to see help for.

This is how I see it.

 

[Tony_the_mad]

Hi everyone!

I hope I put this in the right place, and if not – please move it to the appropriate forum.

So the more I think I understand about Catholicism and what the Church teaches, I start realizing that there’s a lot of other stuff which I don’t understand. It seems all too cliche anymore when speaking of Catholicism that you’re always feeling guilty of this or that, when you attend Mass, go to confession, pray, etc.

I’ve also heard talk about the “Via Dolorosa” which is the path that Jesus walked concerning the Stations of the Cross, am I right about that? There seems to be so much emphasis on the passion and suffering of Jesus, that it seems to imply that we too must suffer throughout our life as He did. The whole idea of suffering confuses me, does the Church really teach us to be miserable with ourselves forever? I know when our hearts are troubled we can always bring it to God in prayer, but surely we shouldn’t walk around throughout life hating ourselves and the opportunity which God granted to us.

This seems even more true when it comes to psychological issues. There are a lot of people out there who struggle with depression, same sex attraction, gender dysphoria, etc. who bear a cross that not many could take on their own. Such heavy crosses can indeed be disheartening to even the kindest soul. What is a person to do? Are we supposed to be guilty and miserable forever? I would be grateful for any of your insights. It will help me to understand my own spiritual journey and how it relates to the truths which the Catholic Church has always taught, if I should indeed choose to embrace them.

Guilt is not the aim of the Church but humility and gratefulness for the grace we have received.

Consider the following. Near the beginning of the mass we say:

‘I confess to almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore, I ask, the blessed Mary every virgin, all the angels and saints and you my brothers and sisters to pray to me to the Lord our God.’ (Sometimes a shorter penitential rite is used instead.)

In other words we humbly admit our sins but we also ask for prayers.

Just before communion we say:

‘Lord, I am not worthy to receive you under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.’

This sentence is obviously inspired by the Bible. But it also emphasizes that Jesus heals our soul (in the Eucharist as well as other places).

There are some Catholics (one is too many) who do things because of guilt. But that guilt is misplaced humility and thanks. The Church teaches humility, to obey God’s commands (which includes attending Church, etc.), and that we should strive to be ever closer to God through prayer, service, alms-giving, and the sacraments.

As far as the ‘via doloroso’ that is a particular devotion that is very useful for many but is not necessary. If we focus on the sufferings of Jesus, it is not to bemoan our contribution to that pain but to thank Him for his great sacrifice.

If Catholics focus more on the sufferings of Christ than Protestants it is because we as humans are currently at that state. Christ on the cross symbolizes where we are now. We trust in our Lord that we too shall be raised and given a new imperishable body that does not suffer. But that is not where we are now. God does not ask us to endure what He has not and that is a great comfort.

We all carry our crosses, as you mention in your last paragraph. While it may seem that Catholics focus too much on the journey it is always with an understanding of the ending. Because the end of the story and of the journey is not Calvary Hill, but the glory of heaven to come.

 

[DavidFilmer]

I hope I put this in the right place, and if not – please move it to the appropriate forum.

No, I assure you, you got the right forum.

So the more I think I understand about Catholicism and what the Church teaches, I start realizing that there’s a lot of other stuff which I don’t understand.

Yeah, me too. And I’ve been doing this for twenty years. If you ever meet a Catholic who says he understands everything the Church teaches, you have met either a liar or a fool.

It seems all too cliche anymore when speaking of Catholicism that you’re always feeling guilty of this or that, when you attend Mass, go to confession, pray, etc.

Well, maybe “this or that” (depending on how naughty “this or that” might have been). Catholics ought to feel better when they attend Mass and pray and (especially) go to Confession.

I’ve also heard talk about the “Via Dolorosa” which is the path that Jesus walked concerning the Stations of the Cross, am I right about that?

Yes. The Latin means “Way of Sorrows.” It is the path that Jesus walked to Golgotha (place of the skull). You can visit the Holy Land today and walk this same path.

There seems to be so much emphasis on the passion and suffering of Jesus, that it seems to imply that we too must suffer throughout our life as He did. The whole idea of suffering confuses me, does the Church really teach us to be miserable with ourselves forever?

No. The Church does not teach that we could ever obtain our own salvation if we willingly submitted ourselves to the same sufferings of Jesus. We could not save even ourselves by such suffering, much less the salvation of a few (or a thousand, or a million, or a trillion) of others.