Question about marital relations when one has been sterilized

[JacarandaPurple]

My husband and I are approaching our 15th anniversary next month. We were married in the Church and have five children, ages 14 down through 4. Just a couple of months after I had my last one, I had my tubes tied.

Now please don’t bother to unload all over me about how I committed a mortal sin. I know that. I have suffered regret and shame, and been to Confession. I am not sure that if the same situation presented, I wouldn’t make the same choice, given the pressures and issues that led to it. But I am certainly not proud of it. I won’t lie and say I did the best I could, but I made the choice and it’s too late to take it back. And no, I cannot afford to have it reversed.

Here is my question: sexual intercourse has been described as a renewal of the couple’s sacrament. I think that it still is for us, even if it’s not perfect. What do you think? My priest assured me in Confession that my sin is forgiven and I should not feel any guilt about making love with my husband. What are the opinions here on the board for a couple like us? Is sex still sacramental?

Interested to see the range of thoughts on this.

 

[1ke]

My priest assured me in Confession that my sin is forgiven and I should not feel any guilt about making love with my husband. What are the opinions here on the board for a couple like us? Is sex still sacramental?

Interested to see the range of thoughts on this.

Listen to your priest and stop second guessing him. He is correct. The Church does not teach that you must abstain from relations.

 

[JacarandaPurple]

I am not second guessing. And I never said I thought I had to abstain. That’s not what I asked.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…Here is my question: sexual intercourse has been described as a renewal of the couple’s sacrament. I think that it still is for us, even if it’s not perfect. What do you think? My priest assured me in Confession that my sin is forgiven and I should not feel any guilt about making love with my husband. What are the opinions here on the board for a couple like us? Is sex still sacramental?

Interested to see the range of thoughts on this.

I think you should take your confessor’s advice–and I also think you should stop asking strangers on the internet what we think about your sex life.

As to my thoughts on “a couple like you” I truly believe that if you want to grow in holiness, God will give you those opportunities. For whatever reasons you had, you traded your fertility for a different cross. I have some very good friends (godparents of one of my children) who regret their sterilization. They’re truly good people, but I’ve seen the crosses that God’s given them to help them grow in holiness. I prefer my own cross to theirs. Every once in a while when I get to feeling overwhelmed with my large family, I think about them. Give God your brokeness, and He’ll find a way to use it for His glory.

 

[JacarandaPurple]

Yeesh, I meant this in a more philisophical/theological vein. Guess I should have posted it in a different forum, or constructed the question without relating it personally to myself. I do like the idea of giving up one cross for another. Good way to look at it, and it has been true in some ways.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Yeesh, I meant this in a more philisophical/theological vein. Guess I should have posted it in a different forum, or constructed the question without relating it personally to myself. I do like the idea of giving up one cross for another. Good way to look at it, and it has been true in some ways.

Okay, I can handle the philosophy/theological discussion, (which is why I made the “trading crosses” comment. ) The way you phrased your original post, it sounded like you questioned your confessor’s advice.