Question about married Protestant converting

[philothea12]

I have a Protestant friend who is interested in converting to Catholicism but has been told that she may not be able to because her husband will not agree to have the marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. However, I did quite a bit of research and seemed to find that the Church considers marriages between two baptized non-Catholic Christians valid and sacramental, so she would be able to enter the Church and receive the Eucharist since her marriage would not need to be convalidated. (My researched seemed to show that the purpose of convalidation is for cases where a baptized Catholic got married outside the Church, a baptized person married a non-baptized person, etc. Here is one link that has a pretty good summary.)

Anyway, here are my questions:

1. Does anyone know for certain if it is correct that Christian marriages between two baptized non-Catholics do not need convalidation? Is that spelled out somewhere in Canon Law?

**2. **If it is correct that my friend’s marriage would not need to be convalidated in order for her to enter the Church and receive the Eucharist, then her RCIA director is mistaken. He told her that she would not be able to enter the Church unless her husband agreed to have the marriage blessed. To whom should she escalate the issue in the case that he’s mistaken? The priest? The bishop’s office? How does one go about doing that?

My friend is confused and stressed about this, so any clarity would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

 

[Aramis]

I have a Protestant friend who is interested in converting to Catholicism but has been told that she may not be able to because her husband will not agree to have the marriage blessed in the Catholic Church. However, I did quite a bit of research and seemed to find that the Church considers marriages between two baptized non-Catholic Christians valid and sacramental, so she would be able to enter the Church and receive the Eucharist since her marriage would not need to be convalidated. (My researched seemed to show that the purpose of convalidation is for cases where a baptized Catholic got married outside the Church, a baptized person married a non-baptized person, etc. Here is one link that has a pretty good summary.)

Anyway, here are my questions:

1. Does anyone know for certain if it is correct that Christian marriages between two baptized non-Catholics do not need convalidation? Is that spelled out somewhere in Canon Law?

**2. **If it is correct that my friend’s marriage would not need to be convalidated in order for her to enter the Church and receive the Eucharist, then her RCIA director is mistaken. He told her that she would not be able to enter the Church unless her husband agreed to have the marriage blessed. To whom should she escalate the issue in the case that he’s mistaken? The priest? The bishop’s office? How does one go about doing that?

My friend is confused and stressed about this, so any clarity would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

It is possible to validate a marriage with consent of only the Catholic partner. It’s called a radical Sanation, and this is the normative cause of it.

The spouses unwillingness is not impediment. It is an issue for the couple, and it IS an issue, especially if they are going to have children. It’s even more an issue if there already are children.

Also, far to often, RCIA coordinators are not well educated in the details of the faith. They are volunteers, most of the time, and assume, rather than know. They often, meaning well, make grievous errors.

Your friend needs to talk to a priest or deacon.

 

[Seatuck]

Is the husband a baptized Catholic?

 

[Eliza10]

I converted years after I became married and we were both Protestant when married and we did not need to get our marriage blessed. This was was a relief because I would likely have had the same problem - a husband who refused to have the marriage blessed.

But the decision of the Church for us did not come easy. My priest was not able to okay us without consulting the Diosean Canon Lawyer.

The complication was that my husband was baptized Catholic as a baby (I was baptized Methodist as a baby). What worked in our favor was that we were active members of a Protestant Church when we married. What worked against our favor was that we never bothered to officially become enrolled members of that church. In the end what worked in our favor were two things: First, we were youth group leaders in our Protestant church, so we were clearly active members. Second, there was something about a change in canon law that occured right about the time we married and we were on the right side of that change. I don’t remember what that was, but it worked in our favor.

The end decsion of the Catholic Church was that we were both truly Protestant when married so neither of us was marrying outside the Church in an act of disobedience. Our marriage was considered valid. It would have been nice to have it blessed, but it was not necessary for us.

Tell your friend to be not afraid. If she goes forth in obedience of God’s will, following the direction of the Holy Spirit, God will pave the way for her no matter where it may seem she is going on the way.

I know a great Christmas gift for your friend! Its the book If Only One Converts by Lynn Nordhagen. It was a great comfort to me when I was converting. I think you can get it through the bookstore on this website.

---

*“See to it that you do not refuse Him Who speaks.” - Hebrews 12:25 *

 

[1ke]

If neither of were baptized as Catholics at the time of the marriage, and had no other impediments like a prior marriage for one of them, then the marriage is valid and is **NOT **in need of “convalidation.” Yes, we are 100% certain of that fact.

Your RCIA director is not well educated on the marriage laws of the Church, but we should be charitable and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to be helpful and are just confused.

Here are the canons on convalidation, although I don’t think they will be helpful to you in “proving” anything to your RCIA director. Since he/she for some reason thinks the marriage is invalid in the first place or he/she wouldn’t be insisting you have to have it convalidated.

Canon Law governs what Catholics must do, and since neither of them are Catholics the canons on marriage law and form do not apply. Now, that presumes that the husband in this scenario was not baptized Catholic. Maybe there are details you don’t know.

My suggestion would be that she make an appointment with your priest and clear it up. If there is still any confusion on the matter, then she can go to your diocesan website and look up the number for the Vicar General and/or the Tribunal. Someone at that level will definitely know what they are doing.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

If neither of the parties was Catholic at the time of the marriage, and neither party had a previous marriage, then their marriage is already assumed valid. And if both had been validly baptized in another Christian ecclesial community, then their marriage is not only valid but also sacramental. If only one had been baptized, the marriage becomes sacramental “automatically” when the second party is baptized.

If either of them had a prior marriage, they may need to go through the annulment process.

If one of them was Catholic at the time of their “marriage,” it is probably invalid due to defect of form (not following the form of marriage prescribed by the Church), and would need to be convalidated.

Best bet is to talk to the pastor about it. RCIA directors can make mistakes.

 

[puzzleannie]

I 1. Does anyone know for certain if it is correct that Christian marriages between two baptized non-Catholics do not need convalidation? Is that spelled out somewhere in Canon Law?
you!

of course it is in canon law
what is not in canon law are the details of your friend’s specific situation, which you and we do not know, so we cannot give her a good answer. She needs to speak to the pastor (not the secretary, not the RCIA director unless that is the pastor or deacon who prepares people for marriage) and lay out the complete facts of her circumstances. It may be, for instance, that one of them was married before. We don’t and can’t know.

My guess is further that the RCIA director suggested she speak to the pastor and she has not yet followed that advice. It is useless and dangerous to make assumptions and give answers w/o all the facts. We have no right to all the facts. The person who does is the priest.

 

[philothea12]

Is the husband a baptized Catholic?

No. Both of them are baptized Protestants, and neither were married before.

My guess is further that the RCIA director suggested she speak to the pastor and she has not yet followed that advice.

No, this RCIA director feels certain that he is correct and has not suggested that, which is why I was wondering on her behalf what the protocol is for escalating the issue.

Thank you all for your responses! Eliza10 - I will recommend that book, thanks!

 

[GailMac]

Oh dear. PhilotheaZ, you are very confused. You state:" If only one had been baptized, the marriage becomes sacramental “automatically” when the second party is baptized."

I’ll repeat where there is no Priest there is no Sacrament. Although you’re probably wishing that they remain in a blessed state of fornication, they are trying to become Catholic. I suggest you get out of God’s way.

Peace,

Gail

 

[puzzleannie]

No. Both of them are baptized Protestants, and neither were married before.

No, this RCIA director feels certain that he is correct and has not suggested that, which is why I was wondering on her behalf what the protocol is for escalating the issue.

Thank you all for your responses! Eliza10 - I will recommend that book, thanks!

unless the RCIA director is the priest she or he cannot know that which is matter for confession, as is the case with many marriage situations, and unless he or she is the parish liaison with the marriage tribunal, he or she does not have the knowledge to deal with these issues. If she is claiming he does, he should be fired, so your friend should tell the pastor when she meets with him. the book is great, but won’t help your friend. She needs to call the priest today and make an appointment.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

Oh dear. PhilotheaZ, you are very confused. You state:" If only one had been baptized, the marriage becomes sacramental “automatically” when the second party is baptized."

I’ll repeat where there is no Priest there is no Sacrament. Although you’re probably wishing that they remain in a blessed state of fornication, they are trying to become Catholic. I suggest you get out of God’s way.

Peace,

Gail

A validly married Protestant couple (no impediment such as a prior marriage) are not fornicating.

A validly married non-Christian couple (no impediment such as a prior marriage) are not fornicating.

Two baptized Christians who validly marry (no impediment such as a prior marriage) have a sacramental marriage, even if they are not Catholic.

When a validly married non-Catholic couple enter the Church, the Church does not marry them “again,” because she already considers them married.

 

[1ke]

Oh dear. PhilotheaZ, you are very confused. You state:" If only one had been baptized, the marriage becomes sacramental “automatically” when the second party is baptized."

I’ll repeat where there is no Priest there is no Sacrament. Although you’re probably wishing that they remain in a blessed state of fornication, they are trying to become Catholic. I suggest you get out of God’s way.

Peace,

Gail

GailMac,

It is you who are confused.

I suggest you study up on what the Church teaches about the Sacrament of Marriage.

A natural marriage becomes a Sacrament at the moment the unbaptized party or parties are baptized.

Two non-Catholics validly marry when they contract it in thir own faith community or civilly, and they are not fornicating.

You are incorrect about the priest’s role in the Sacrament of marriage. The couple confer the Sacrament upon each other.

The priest is only the official witness of the Church. The official witness of the Church can also be a deacon, or a **layperson **if designated by the Bishop due to no priests being available. And, the official witness of the Church is only required for Catholics. Look it up in Canon Law before you continue to post wrong information.

 

[Seatuck]

Seems to be a valid marriage to me. Have your friend call up the priest or diocese or do it yourself.

 

[Aramis]

No. Both of them are baptized Protestants, and neither were married before.

No, this RCIA director feels certain that he is correct and has not suggested that, which is why I was wondering on her behalf what the protocol is for escalating the issue.

Thank you all for your responses! Eliza10 - I will recommend that book, thanks!

The RCIA director is most certainly NOT correct.

Both being baptized non-catholics without prior marriages makes the marriage a valid spiritual marriage.

Even if it were not valid, a radical sanation is a viable solution.