Question about priests' attitude toward women

[caroljm36]

Someone posted this at Apologetics and it reminded me of something that has been bothering me.If a priest wants to disobey his vows, there are PLENTY of adult women willing to participate (ask any young priest - they get hit on ALL THE TIME.)

I know that is true and in fact there is a pretty strong rumor going around about a very popular priest at a neighboring parish who goes on extended trips with a female parishioner…they’re sort of an item. I am a little too old to have a thing for priests though I can certainly understand it, all that suppressed sexual tension…like the Thornbirds etc. Wow.

Anyway, what has been bothering me is that I can’t get any priest to acknowledge me as a parishioner. I go to weekly mass and have been involved in ministries lately where if a priest is around, he goes out of his way to not make eye contact, and not recognize me in any way. In fact I noticed a tendency for a priest out in public to avert his eyes, like oh **** there’s a parishioner and I’m off-duty, so I pretend not to see them now. I’m trying to be a big girl about it, but is this part of that whole predatory-female-parishioner problem, that they feel they have to avoid any woman except those with their husbands standing right there? Even then, they acknowledge my husband and not me. It does make me feel somewhat invisible.

I understand that when a man is set upon continually by women it will make them quite wary, but I guess I expected a little more human kindness and community from my parish experience.

Can someone set me straight on this?

 

[Trelow]

Maybe he’s just trying to avoid the occasion of sin.
Matthew 5:28 “If a man looks on a woman to lust after
her, he has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

 

[space_ghost]

exactly what kind of attention do you expect from the priest… what does acknowledge you as a parishioner mean?

and if your idea of analogy is based on the thornbirds, then maybe
distance is a good idea for you to serve without expecting this added attention… God sees what you do and i am sure you will be justly rewarded for your sacrifice…

this wasn’t much of a response or help i fear… i don’t have enough facts to respond fairly to you… how about some more detail…

 

[caroljm36]

space ghost:

exactly what kind of attention do you expect from the priest… what does acknowledge you as a parishioner mean?

Just say hi to me as he does to others coming out of church or working in the kitchen or whatever. If the same thing happened at my work I’d feel the same way. When someone won’t even make eye contact when you’re so obviously there in the room you wonder, what is wrong? Does this person not like me?

My remark about the Thornbirds is from memory of years gone by and I meant only to show that yes I understand the problems and temptations of sin. But it seems that priests go back to the other extreme of shunning and alienating people like me who mean no harm.

 

[Shae]

I know exactly what you mean. Have you read my post titled “To Be Shredded Or Not?” on page 3 in this same forum"

I feel like I’ve done something awful, just for being a woman. On occasion I have to go to mass without my husband, and my children are with me, and this priest goes the long way around me all the time. I dont want any special attention, like some would imply, just not to be invisible.
Perhaps my attire should be of "tent dresses, potato sacks or 10 sizes too big. And I dont wear flesh revealing clothes or mini skirts.
Prejudice hurts.

Shae

 

[Island_Oak]

space ghost:

exactly what kind of attention do you expect from the priest… what does acknowledge you as a parishioner mean?

Space Ghost, I so LOOK FORWARD to your posts! We just returned from a visit to our former parish where, up until our move just 3 months ago, I was very involved in both parish and school activities and had *weekly *contact with our pastor who is painfully inept at matching faces and names. Before we left, he gave me a seemingly heartfelt farewell and wished me well in our new parish, commented how much I would be missed, yada, yada, yada…After mass Sun. I approached him outside as he was shaking hands with everyone, and I about fell over when he shook mine and said “see you next week!”