Question about single life after divorce

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I have been divorced approx 10 years, never remarried, just joined the Church at Easter this year. I have had a boyfriend for the past four years and we were intimate during that time. However, when I started RCIA last year, we talked and I let him know that sex was no longer an option for us. (He is still my boyfriend, which I think proves he loves me.) Now here is the question. I read on EWTN this morning in one of the forums, that if a person is divorced, they must get an annullment before re-marrying or dating?? I have no plans to remarry, but I do enjoy dating. What do I do about this? Janice
 
one more thing, we do cuddle and kiss, nothing further than that. Is this wrong??? JAnice
 
In essense, the church views you as still married. Do you think it’s morally right to date, cuddle, and kiss someone when you’re married to someone else?

In any case, why don’t you start the anullment process now? Much better than to find out now if your marriage is valid and prevents you from remarrying then finding out after the engagement. Just call your church’s rectory and ask for an appoint with the pastor.
 
I would think that you should not be dating with romantic involvement if you have no interest or intention to marry (not everyone will agree with this). Can’t have your cake and eat it too. Rather you should be settling yourself into singleness of life if this is the vocation that you feel God is currently calling you to.
 
jpowers, I would speak to your pastor about this. Whether or not you will need an anullment depends on whether your first marriage would have been considered canonically valid by the Catholic Church. Many particulars affect this, and it is too complex for anyone to say “yes” or “no” on the internet.

If it is determined that you do need an anullment, you should avoid dating before that time.

In any event, it’s best to go easy on the kissing and cuddling, lest that cause too much temptation. 🙂
 
Well, I have no intention of ever getting married again. I have spoken to my Pastor about this, and he has advised getting the annullment process started. But, I am afraid that if I do get my first marriage annulled, I will be tempted to get married again. Which I do not want. I guess I am relying on the church as a crutch to keep me from doing something really stupid. Hmmm… now that I have phrased it like that, I guess I should rely on the church to tell me the best way to live as a single person also. But, I miss having sex. I think our society has programmed it into a lot of people that sex outside of marriage is OK. I just have to reprogram my thinking I guess. Janice
 
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jpowers:
Well, I have no intention of ever getting married again. I have spoken to my Pastor about this, and he has advised getting the annullment process started. But, I am afraid that if I do get my first marriage annulled, I will be tempted to get married again. Which I do not want. I guess I am relying on the church as a crutch to keep me from doing something really stupid. Hmmm… now that I have phrased it like that, I guess I should rely on the church to tell me the best way to live as a single person also. But, I miss having sex. I think our society has programmed it into a lot of people that sex outside of marriage is OK. I just have to reprogram my thinking I guess. Janice
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What courage it takes to reject society’s teachings on sex and accept what God wants for you! That’s wonderful!

Do you feel called to the single life or are you afraid of entering into another marriage that may end up the way your first one did? If you are called to life the single life, there is no reason to date. If your vocation is marriage, then God is calling you to find the man He has chosen for you through dating.

Pray about your vocation, every day! Marriage might be a scary prospect, but ultimately it is about what God wants in your life, and trust me He can have awesome plans that you don’t know about and may seem scary or unwanted at first.

God bless.
 
this is a matter for pastoral counselling and confession, not discussion of your private life in a public forum.
 
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puzzleannie:
this is a matter for pastoral counselling and confession, not discussion of your private life in a public forum.
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As jpowers stated she has already availed herself of pastoral counseling and *you *should let the Pastor determine if she is in need of confesssion. I commend jpoers for seeking to know and do what is pleasing to God and having the courage to honestly aire out some of her issues to do so.

[Originally Posted by jpowers
I guess I am relying on the church as a crutch to keep me from doing something really stupid. Hmmm… now that I have phrased it like that, I guess I should rely on the church to tell me the best way to live as a single person also. …I just have to reprogram my thinking I guess. Janice]

Sounds like more your issue of trying impose your personal boundaries upon this poster. Let the Moderators do the moderating. 😦
 
boy, i have been married since 1978, if i was to be thrown out into the single world today,… i guess i would just jump in the river… horse and all…

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