Question for converts

[Xandria]

Hello!

I would like to know whether any of you have encountered the same feelings in the process of converting to Catholicism. I really feel like moving into another culture. Somehow Catholicism seems like another world, a culture of its own to me. If you never had anything to do with it until adulthood, it can seem very foreign. Right now I’m only “visiting” but I don’t know if I can really become a part of it. I’m not the sort of person I often read about it here who totally and completely embrace every aspect without any reservation. Don’t get me wrong, I love the liturgy, am fascinated and drawn by it and find that it offers me a sense of security. But if it is like moving into another culture, I don’t know if I can wholly assimilate. Like when you’re moving to another country. You can enjoy it there, love the people etc. but usually to some extent you stay in your heart whatever nationality you are because you have been shaped by growing up elsewhere.

 

[Catholic_Kenpo]

You are quite correct in likening Catholicism to a different culture. It even has it’s own language. The concept of a religion which contains the fullness of truth was a completely foreign concept to me when I converted just over three years ago. I brought many of my protestant ideas and ways of thinking with me and immediately became a very devoted “cafeteria” Catholic. It’s taken me a few years, but I eventually realized the gross error I was making and came to accept all the teachings of the Church. I won’t claim it’s easy (because it’s generally not), but it is always worth the effort. If what you’re looking for is to know that you’re not alone, then you are correct. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of folks here that felt the same things during their conversion process. Hope this helps.

-CK

 

[skeyes]

It is a different culture. But what a great culture it is. I too brought some of my Baptist with me and as time has gone on all I can say about my previous Christian life is that it was terribly disobedient to what Jesus taught we should be. I have, in twenty years gotten to the point where I realize how complete the Catholic faith is. There are no parts missing. Involve yourself in the new culture because one day it will be the only culture you will have anything to do with. You will not miss your old culture. You have a great treat ahead. Continue to go to the Liturgy and let the Lord lead you.

In His service,
Stan

 

[anjoh66]

Yes it is a different culture especially when you convert as adult.

You said that you dont know if you ever can be a part of it, yes you can.
I would say that the faith is very personal, some go deep into mariology others take a different way, even amongst the born catholics there is different ways.

All of them are right as long as you dont follow heresies or act in opposition to the teachings of the church.

The catholic tradition also differs depending on where you come from, there is difference between a asian, european or south american catholic.

i didnt mention north americans as i hold them for quite similar to europeans because of their roots.

Anyhow i am sure that you will find a way that suits you.

Blessings

 

[Xandria]

Thanks for your answers. I so want to become Catholic but I’m still hesitant of actually going through with it. I do have some time left before the next RCIA class will start in September but my situation will not have changed.

One of my problems is the following:

It feels as if once I become Catholic I will have this huge system of rules and obligations to follow and live by. I don’t know if I am able to follow it. Especially not alone but that is what I will be. Where I live pretty much nobody my age (almost just old people) go to church. There is only the Mass, no prayer groups, bible study etc. It is impossible to get to know someone. This is so discouraging. I don’t think I can do this alone.

 

[Catholic_Kenpo]

Thanks for your answers. I so want to become Catholic but I’m still hesitant of actually going through with it. I do have some time left before the next RCIA class will start in September but my situation will not have changed.

One of my problems is the following:

It feels as if once I become Catholic I will have this huge system of rules and obligations to follow and live by. I don’t know if I am able to follow it. Especially not alone but that is what I will be. Where I live pretty much nobody my age (almost just old people) go to church. There is only the Mass, no prayer groups, bible study etc. It is impossible to get to know someone. This is so discouraging. I don’t think I can do this alone.

I think there’s a couple of important points here in your post. The first being the rules, etc and not being able to follow them all. The key to this point is this: None of us do. We all break the rules from time to time. That’s why we have the sacrament of reconciliation. The important part is that you try as best you can to follow the guidelines that the Church has set in place for you. They aren’t there to keep you from having fun. On the contrary, they are in place to help you live a Christ-centered life.

The second part I want to address is when you talk about not being able to do it alone. There are really two ways to look at this. First, none of us make the journey alone. It just isn’t possible. The Holy Spirit is there to guide us along and comfort us as we encounter difficulties. Second, my personal conversion is very similar to yours. I was in college, but older than everyone in my class by about 11 years. None of the people I went to school with were Catholics (I went to Alabama, everyone was Baptist), and all the Catholics I met at Church were significantly older than I was. The thing I realized was this - it didn’t matter. I wasn’t being called to the Church to hang out with the other parishioners. I was there to give praise to God.

Some of this may initially sound harsh. That’s not my intent at all. I’m just trying to explain it as factually as I can. I pray that you will allow God to remove your fears and come in to full communion with the Church that Christ founded. Know that my prayers are with you during this journey.

-CK

 

[Monica4316]

Hi,

I felt this way too, and initially I was SURE that I’d never fit into this new “culture”. I was very Protestant, Catholicism just felt so different to me. But now, I can’t imagine being anything else. So… I guess God changes people really, it just takes some time.

I even thought that as a Catholic I’d have to leave my “relationship with God”. I thought I’d never meet people my age (I’m in my early 20s). I also wondered about the rules thing.

But …my relationship with God became even stronger, I joined a young adult Catholic group at my university, went to a conference and met lots of people, and since the Eucharist became more “real” for me, following the ‘rules’ has actually been sort of a joyful thing.

God has a way of working these things out. If you feel lead to the Church, trust Him and don’t worry too much.

If you’re worried about meeting people your age, try going to a conference for your age group… for example, young adult? (I don’t know how old you are.) There are some good ones in Steubenville Ohio, I went to one with Catholic Christian Outreach in Canada.

I also suggest going to Adoration and praying a lot…try practicing Catholic devotions… I don’t know where you are in your journey, but no matter where you are this can help you grow. At first when I started going to Adoration it was really hard to concentrate, but eventually I learned. Eventually all the stuff that was drawing me away from the Church just seemed so insignificant cause the faith became so real to me. Especially the Eucharist, became very important and central. This is the foundation of our faith and of the Mass.

God bless!

 

[Angels_Unaware]

I did, but it is hard to recall, and it will be for you, too someday.

For me, it was small things that were big changes culturally that really have little to do with religion/spirituality. Everything purely Catholic I soaked up, but the culture/customs seemed strange.

The first thing I noticed was children in Mass and no Sunday School. That was very surprising to me. The second thing I noticed was priests drinking and smoking. This is shocking to a person who attended a former tee-toller Church who has family from a dry county. Third, I was surprised by secular music and a carnival atmosphere at parish fund-raisers. Very shocking to any former Baptists. What else… customs. St. Anthony for lost items. St. Benedict medals for curses. Oh, I know, Christmas- putting a Christmas tree up late and leaving it up and celebrating the feasts that come afterwards, Epiphany, the baptism of Jesus. Also, St. Joseph’s table.

There is nothing wrong with anything above, it was just what I noticed.

 

[Pug]

I did, but it is hard to recall, and it will be for you, too someday.

Oh, my! I’d almost thought I was reading my own post for a second there. I had forgotten noticing the kids, the no Sunday school, and the pastor who both drank and smoked!

 

[mystagogia]

Hi, Xandia!

I’m in a very similar type of situation, just a little bit farther along than you. I remember well my first mass, which wasn’t so long ago in the scheme of things, and the feeling I had of being very alien, a total outsider. I’ve gotten to the point of eagerness and wonder about the aspects of the faith to which I’m a stranger. Maybe you can try to look at it like that, as a sort of exciting adventure that awaits you.

The thing that helped me the most is prayer. I continually prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me. Plus, I went out and bought a rosary and gave that a try. Now coming from a Baptist background this was a very new thing, all those Hail Marys to someone who had never said a prayer to her in my life. That was strange ground, plus the problem of trying to both remember the words of the prayers and concentrate on the various mysteries at the same time. In fits and starts, I think I might have turned in the most disastrous rosary prayers in a long while, but eventually I have been getting better at it.

These rosary prayers had an immediate impact on me, however, never mind how poorly I was doing them. I believe that the Holy Spirit was with me, and solidifying the faith in my heart. The process also showed me that even though I was a newbie apt to mess up that I was being received.

May God bless you, and I wish you well!

 

[quiet52]

Catholicism certainly is a different culture, even for Catholics who who journey from apathy or lukewarmness to zeal.

Some of St. Paul’s letters give us an idea how the first Christian communities struggled in the new “culture” as they lived day-to-day among non-disciples.

It’s a matter of trying not live IN the world but not OF the world –
“world” referring to the darkness of sin and anything distracting us from God. Jesus is the “light” of the world – and He calls His disciples to be one in Him, not with the devil (the self-proclaimed ruler of the world).

There are many references to this – here are a few:

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious lie, is not from the Father but is from the world. Yet the world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever.”
(1 John 2:15-17)

“Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

"If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you.
John 15:18-19

It’s always tempting to “look back” to what we’re comfortable with or used to (including temptation and sin) – imagine the disciples in Corinth, having learned from St. Paul so much about Christ and living in Christ, and then having to live within the pagan culture of the time – tempted by sexual permissiveness, worship of many gods – wait – this sounds like how it is now, in 2009!

But that small faith community worshiped together, supported each other in the faith, and continued to invite others to discipleship.

Back to the present – you mentioned that you liked the liturgy – public work of worship. Its quality of transcendence – something directed away from ourselves to God – is wonderful for me. I’m glad it seems “like another country” in a way – away from TV, the streets, the stresses of everyday problems – I like your analogy. I think as you proceed on your journey of faith, you’ll find yourself appreciating more and more how this culture of discipleship nurtures and strengthens us as we work toward our salvation.

Be patient, but be steadfast in your learning and in praying. Give yourself time to learn and embrace the richness of Catholicism. And allow others to be part of your journey.

 

[pdsgirl]

Xandria,

I went through the RCIA process last year and completed it at Easter Vigil. I had wanted to begin it many years prior to then, but the opportunity finally made it perfect last year. I felt a bit out of place in the new “culture”, and I am still learning. You don’t need to commit to conversion before you start to attend RCIA. RCIA helps answer the questions that might be on your mind. SO I do encourage to go to the next session. You might meet nice people there that you can bond with on your journey. It is a wonderful process. :twocents:

Victoria

 

[Xandria]

The topic in this thread is very important to me but currently I’m just unable to comtemplate it much less write about it here. By the end of the week I should be free again and will definitely come back here to answer! I have this HUGE and very important exam on Friday and have to study day and night. I’m just so nervous because I failed it the last time. Just wanted to let you know why I haven’t posted here anymore. Wish me luck!!!

 

[jmcrae]

Hello!

I would like to know whether any of you have encountered the same feelings in the process of converting to Catholicism. I really feel like moving into another culture. Somehow Catholicism seems like another world, a culture of its own to me. If you never had anything to do with it until adulthood, it can seem very foreign. Right now I’m only “visiting” but I don’t know if I can really become a part of it. I’m not the sort of person I often read about it here who totally and completely embrace every aspect without any reservation. Don’t get me wrong, I love the liturgy, am fascinated and drawn by it and find that it offers me a sense of security. But if it is like moving into another culture, I don’t know if I can wholly assimilate. Like when you’re moving to another country. You can enjoy it there, love the people etc. but usually to some extent you stay in your heart whatever nationality you are because you have been shaped by growing up elsewhere.

Yes, it is a completely different culture, and it’s also a very complex culture. What I found is that you have to take it in stages. Sometimes, you just have to say, “I don’t understand,” put it aside, and work on something else.

Take as much time as you need with it. Don’t let anyone try to rush you into anything. Remember, it’s your choice.

 

[T700]

One of my problems is the following:

It feels as if once I become Catholic I will have this huge system of rules and obligations to follow and live by.

Are you familiar with the Criminal Code of Germany (Strafgesetzbuch, StGB)? It runs to 37 chapters and 358 articles (1998 version). Chapter 27, article 309, subsection 1 states that the misuse of ionizing radiation by the deliberate exposure of another with the intent to harm, can be punished by 10 years in prison.

Why do I bring that up? To remind you that any legal code, be it national or ecclesiastical, tends to cover everything. The average person can get by under a national legal code knowing only the basics: Don’t steal, cheat, kill, or harass. In a similar fashion, you don’t necessarily need to know the ins and outs of canon law, only the things that directly concern you.

Take courage and stay on the path!

Paul

 

[kage_ar]

While you might not see “young people” in the Mass where you have attended, that does not mean you will be alone. Look at other Parishes and at the Diocesean level for youth groups and events.

Besides, sometimes old people can actually be interesting and fun (says a mom with silver hair).

 

[Xandria]

Ok, I’m back! Passed the exam! :dancing:

A big thanks to everyone who responded in the meantime.

It feels like I won’t have any peace until I finally am Catholic. But I would rather want to do this joyfully and not like: let’s get this over with, you know?

I just feel so left alone with it all. I can’t go to another parish because this is the only one that I can reach. This here is not a Catholic region.

Something else that seems very important to me but that I can’t answer myself. I’m currently going through a very hard time and what if the main reason for me wanting to be part of the Church is because I’m feeling lonely and long for security? Maybe happier times will come and what if I regret it? Maybe I’m not in a state of mind where I can decide this rationally?

Will I be able to live like the Church teaches? I’m single now but if I find someone, will I be able to follow the teachings on sexuality? Maybe I should trust more but I can’t imagine finding someone who would be willing to do this. Keep in mind, Europeans/Germans are a lot less religious than Americans.

I’m just so torn. There are days when the teachings of the Church promise security but there are at least as much where I feel suffocated by the strict rules.

 

[Pug]

Will I be able to live like the Church teaches? I’m single now but if I find someone, will I be able to follow the teachings on sexuality? Maybe I should trust more but I can’t imagine finding someone who would be willing to do this. Keep in mind, Europeans/Germans are a lot less religious than Americans.

I’m just so torn. There are days when the teachings of the Church promise security but there are at least as much where I feel suffocated by the strict rules.

I know, the US is not Germany, but we have many people here who don’t believe in God or have any religion. I’ve known many Catholics who were dating people who don’t believe. It isn’t uncommon here. Guess what? Some people are good about accommodating what the Catholic partner believes, and some aren’t. It depends on the person, that is all. I was just talking with someone this morning about a girl who was being respected in her desire not to have sex before marriage. You are right to trust that God will lead you on a path that you can follow. He never asks the impossible of us. Just the hard! Or, sometimes what he asks is very easy. It isn’t always hard! Those rules, though, God made them to fit us. They are paths to a healthy mind and a good life. But not a promise it won’t be hard sometimes.

 

[jmcrae]

Will I be able to live like the Church teaches? I’m single now but if I find someone, will I be able to follow the teachings on sexuality? Maybe I should trust more but I can’t imagine finding someone who would be willing to do this. Keep in mind, Europeans/Germans are a lot less religious than Americans.

Most Americans are Protestant, and the Protestant religion doesn’t require sexual self-discipline, either - so North American Catholics are also faced with the same problem of having to announce in advance that they want to be celibate until the wedding, and then faithful forever afterwards while being open to children.

God gives you the grace to do this, and to live according to His plan for our lives. Remember, sexual self-discipline is not a burden - it is how we were designed by God to live. It is actually easier (once you get into the habit of it) to ilve in a disciplined way, than it is to live the undisciplined lifestyle.

I’m just so torn. There are days when the teachings of the Church promise security but there are at least as much where I feel suffocated by the strict rules.

It takes getting used to - but once you are used to the rules, you no longer notice them so much. It becomes a natural habit, over time, the same way that following the rules of the road become habitual when you learn how to drive a car. It’s kind of the same thing - by following all these strict and rigid rules (go on green, stop on red, slow down for children) you gain a great deal of freedom that you never knew before that you could have.