Question for dog lovers — one dog or two?

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Tommy999

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Background:
My wife and I are dog lovers. We’ve owned dogs all our married lives (over 30+ years). We’ve typically had two at a time, usually labrador retrievers. My wife thinks it is best to have at least two because dogs are pack animals and need at least one canine companion when we are at work or visiting our son’s family a couple of hours away. One of us is usually around otherwise.
Recently (Jan 4) our oldest dog died (Sophie), leaving our 4-year old lab mix (border collie) without a companion.

Problem:
My wife claims our remaining dog (Petey) is lonely and needs another dog for company when we aren’t around. My position is that he is grieving but he’ll adjust in time. I used to go on walks with them in the neighborhood a couple of times a week. Now I take Petey almost every day because that is his favorite activity based on his reaction when we go. He is with at least one of us 90% of the time. I would prefer not to get another dog because we are 60 now and financially it is more expensive to feed more dogs and pay their veterinarian bills. Plus, I want to wean off dogs as we get older when won’t be as active as we are now. I don’t want to be 90 with health issues and have to worry about caring for multiple dogs, too.

Question:
From your experience, is it better for a dog to have a canine companion or has it been your experience that dogs can be happy being the only dog at home? Thanks. I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
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Just my guess but If the dog has been used to a companion it is probabaly happier with another but if it is used to being alone it probabaly doesn’t mind. Habit, routine are very important.
 
This is something you’ll have to work out together. I always had one at a time, then suddenly had three and it was wonderful. I am now down to one who is 11 years old. I’m going to spend the years with her (I am over 60) and give her lots of “me” time. She was never the pack leader, always lowest in the pack. She seems to be very happy and is enjoying herself. At this point, I don’t want her to think she’s being replaced. Whatever you decide, best wishes.
 
I also think that as long as a single dog gets your attention it will be happy. The alone time is the concern.
 
Speaking for myself, age is definitely a consideration. Many animals wind up in shelters because their elderly owners died and other family members didn’t want the responsibility.

That being said, your lone dog could be grieving the loss of his companion. But he will get through it in time. You don’t have to get another dog unless you want one. Just shower this one with extra love and take him to the dog park so he can play with the other doggies.
 
Fyi …Our current dog is a rescue that we got when he was about 6 months old. Ever since he’s been with us, he’s always had our other dog that recently died. I want to give him more time to see if he can recover and adjust to being the only dog before getting another or preferably not get another at all.
However, happy wife, happy life, right? 😀
 
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We’ve had one,two,and three at a time. I don’t think it really matters as long as they get the attention and care they need.
 
Petey definitely gets a lot of attention from us. Daily walks, fetching, petting, and he even sleeps with us at the foot of the bed. He’s kind of spoiled, actually. We’ve always been considered responsible dog owners who take good care of our dogs.

Follow up:
How long is reasonable to wait to see if a dog recovers from the grief of losing a companion dog before getting another? We’ve always gotten a new one a few weeks after losing the other when we were younger and never waited to see if it would recover on its own.
 
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I wonder if it is your wife who is having a rough time and grieving. Was she especially attached to the older dog? Could she be projecting her own feelings onto Petey?

I am of the opinion that even if you do get another dog, it is best to wait for about three months for the sake of the humans in the family. By then you will have a much better idea whether Petey needs a new companion as much as your wife thinks he does.

If you do get another dog you might consider getting a dog that is around the same age as the one you have now. Maybe check rescue organizations in your area or your local shelter. You also could get a smaller dog but one with an energy level similar to your dog. You’d still have vet bills but at least it wouldn’t cost as much to feed. You do have to work a bit harder to find an older dog that gets along with your current dog.
 
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Nice insights, SMHW. You may be on to something, the more I think about it. I think my wife may be projecting her own emotions onto Petey to a certain extent. She considers our dogs to be emotionally beneficial to her and she gets sad whenever she observes they might be sad or grieving. In the past, we’ve always gone out and gotten another dog (making sure they are compatible) within a month after losing one so I’ve never been able to verify if the first one would recover and adjust to being alone. Three months seems reasonable to wait. I think I will propose that and see how it goes. Thanks again for the insights, everyone!
 
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Sorry for your loss. Rescue dogs can be pretty resistant. And as long as not left completely alone probabaly loves the extra attention. I know in my house wife has her way with pets. That is a battle not worth it.
 
I agree, Shakuhachi. In the end, I may get another dog but I want to wait longer to see if Petey rebounds. He is most alive and energetic when I take him on walks, which I’ve significantly increased since he’s been alone.
 
Petey will rebound. It’s your wife who has the issue and wants another dog right away to replace the deceased’s physical space. Don’t get another dog just to placate her. Give her time to properly grieve the loss.

The grieving process takes time for human and animal. We’ve gotten new animals within 24 hrs of a beloved pet’s passing (emergency situation on the part of the owner) to a year and a half later. Each new family member has brought its own set of emotions within us. The heart must be ready as well as understanding the realities.

Are both of you prepared physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to take in another animal? If not, the animal will sense it. An animal isn’t a possession or a replacement. He or she will be a family member you are committing to take care of for the rest of its life.
 
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Lilypadres makes good points. When our 2 go I do not want anymore (at 64). I love them but such responsibility I am ready to relinquish. My wife says cats. But they will be trip hazzards.
 
We had relinquished…until somebody left two puppies two months old close enough that they could come home…and they followed me , tiny lovable creatures and fell asleep cuddled close to me…that was three months ago.
And you know how the story ends 🙂🙂 🐕🐕 or better say : begins again.
 
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graciew said:
…and they followed me
Click to expand...
When I was a teenager, my family lived near a middle school with all the sports stuff you could want. For a time, whenever my brother and I went, puppy would run up, watch us, and then follow us home. She didn’t want pets or anything, though. I think she was just curious.

Then for a time in college, I had an adolescent cat (too large for a kitten, too small for an adult) follow me from my car to my door. He definitely wanted attention, but I wasn’t allowed pets and had to keep him outside. 😦
 
Here. Is a story for you:
The people across the street moved away. We don’t know where. About 6 months later thier dog shows up in their front yard. We decide to let it stay in the back yard while we try to find a home. It gets cold so we let it in the house. It got scared when it thundered and jumped on the bed. She decided she liked that. So now we have a little step that helps and she went from back yard shed to on the bed in a matter of days. How is that for training?
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
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Thanks to all for the helpful comments and observations. I’m going to try to wait another couple of months and see how my remaining dog (Petey) is doing and then decide from there. On the positive side, he is back patrolling the yard, fetching, and enjoying the walks with me in the neighborhood. He still acts a little melancholy around the house at times, but I get the impression he is gradually on the mend.

The main trigger outside is the scent of his sister that remains in the grass in the backyard that built up over time. I suspect that scent will fade with future rains, etc. Thanks again to everyone who contributed to this thread 👍
 
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