Question for single Catholic women

[LaughingBoy1503]

The question is directed at Single Catholic women but anyones (name removed by moderator)ut would be appreciated. Especially if you can relate to me.

Lets say that a guy is intrested in you and he is a pretty average guy. Hard working, good guy, Church going, God fearing and of course law abiding. But what if he was not always that way? What if he was at one time (around 4/5 years ago) a drug addict, been to jail acouple times, been arrested about 10 times (mostly drug or alcohol related) and just flat out lived a criminal lifestyle? Would that be a deal breaker for you? I would imagine that it would put some Catholic women off. Especially if she never knew or never had friends or family who had similar lifestyles.

I have since repented and have been a law abiding Christian man for acouple years now, and hopefully I will be Confirmed and baptized next year. I am mentally stable, have been clean for afew years and I have changed my ways. I did not want to get into trouble with the law anymore so I wisened up. The problem is that I really fear having to explain my past lifestyle to this girl that I am kinda intrested in. I will tell her when it comes down to it, but I just want to know what other single Catholic women might think about this? What if I was talking to you and you know im intrested but then I tell you about my past?

 

[cmscms]

The longer you stay clean and out of trouble, the better your chances of having a women not care. If I met a man has 10 years of a criminal lifestyle and only 1 year of law abiding lifestyle, I would not trust it for 1 minute. But if a man had 10 years of living a good life and went through life’s ups and downs (eg, hard financial times, loss of a parent, sickness) and managed to stay good, then I would be more open to truly believing he has changed.

However, if a girl is not interested, your previous life at best is irrelevant.

I met a man who was intrested in me. He was a cocaine addict with 5 years of being clean. In my opinion, it was not an issue but he made it an issue. He told me when we were just friends. He felt he needed to be honest right up front. He came across as very insecure about it. The addiction did not turn me off, his insecurity about it did. I also wondered about someone who would be so open about something so private when we barely knew each other.

IMO after you are exclusive, you tell her as a matter of fact so she is aware, that is sufficient

I also want to add, that if you are truly genuinly leading a godly lifestyle, that will shine through. If all she can see is your past that means one of two things

1-) you still have a lot of character issues to work on or
2-) she is a nut

CM

 

[ShanaA1984]

For me it would not be a deal breaker. People make mistakes. If you can move on from your past then I really do not see why someone else can’t either and if you are with someone who cannot get over your past and let it stay in the past then you do need to be with that person anyway. Just my $0.02.