Question for those suffering scrupulosity

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I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
 
Cradle Catholic.

If you do a search here at CAF, you can find an excellent newsletter and a book or two on scrupulosity.

Also do some reading on Divine Mercy.
 
I have to combat with scrupulosity and I am a cradle Catholic. It can be another way the devil can place doubts of faith. This is a very difficult thing to combat especially when one gains more knowledge of God and knows more deeply what offends Him but also during that learning about God we forget we are weak and beat ourselves up over every little thing. Even a slip of a cuss word can sometimes make a person feel they are worst scum of the earth.

Stay strong and learn the faith through and through on your own and get a good spiritual director if need be. However I myself do not take any direction because most men have error and are not equipped to handle things correctly so that’s why I say learn the faith fully on your own that way you know who is a snake and who is loyal to God. Each time I have tried to find one they always ended up trying to take me away from my mission but had good intentions. And also good writings of the Saints can help immensely.
 
AKDee said:
I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
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Knowledge of the rules always has to be balanced with faith and trust.
As we grow in knowledge of the faith, and knowledge of the rules, and of morality, most people become more aware of their sins, which is a good thing if it is kept in proper perspective. The awareness of sins helps us to avoid them.

But, morality is not designed to crush us with anxiety, it is a process that points us toward God. Morality should bring us peace and joy as we more consistently make good choices. Anxiety does not help us make good choices, it burdens us and weakens us.

This is where the Church comes in. If you struggle alone with your sins, they can become unbearable. Many people will suggest this antidote to scrupulosity
“See a good priest”
Let me echo that advice:
Find a good priest and put your confidence in him. When you lose confidence in the state of your soul, trust in Christ, as he comes to you through the ministry of his priests and other good Christians. The burden you are suffering needs to be shared with the Church (with prudence obviously).
 
AKDee said:
I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
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As a convert I did not find that to be true for me. It could be that we find ourselves focusing on the rules and not on the reasons behind the rules.

Does this rule address the problems we have of harming ourselves or others?
Does this rule address the problems we have by only thinking only about ourselves and not others?
Does this rule encourage us to love others as we love ourselves.

Christ said, “The Sabbath was created for man not God.” God is not setting up traps for us to fall into. He is not sitting up on the clouds waiting to zap us because we bend one of a thousand rules.

Confession is not made for God. It is a gift for us. By examining our lives we learn the road to peace and joy. By looking carefully of our own failings (and strengths) we are able to find patterns of behavior that hinder us from living the full and rich life that God has planned for us.
 
Well said Clem. I gave the analogy one time to someone that basically went like this:

That sometimes with scruples we tend to look at things too digitally. Digital transmissions of information translate to 0’s and 1’s. 0’s and 1’s are exact and precise. Unlike VHS tapes which use film which operate on analog transmission it is not as precise. The Roman Catholic way of articulation can often appear rigid and legalistic and in comparison to computers… Digital (precise language articulation) vs analog (spiritual application).

We as humans, especially in this age of hell on earth, need precise black and white language in order for us to learn precisely and then apply spiritually. The learning is digital but everyday life is not so digital and precise. Everyday life is more analog and every situation is different and every situation needs discernment. But we must first have the digital copy of information placed in our minds to be able to apply it in every situation of life.

In some cases where scrupulous comes in big time, is when we cannot transfer and apply this digital information to our analog life. Everything then seems like a sin when it cannot fit into our precise digital knowing of our faith.

Life is analog and not so rigid as digital 0’s and 1’s. So we must try and relax and let go and let God and if we think we may have messed up accidentally (example loosing temper for a brief second) simply ask for forgiveness and do an act of contrition. Because one must WILLFULLY commit a mortal sin with all 3 conditions met for it to carry the gravity of separation of God.
 
Thanks to everyone for the responses, there is some great advice in there. I really appreciate it.
 
Naturally, it can come from anywhere, but IME, it is more common among cradle Catholics. Converts tend to have “thought through” the conversion process, and that mental process tends to supersede the more emotional aspects of scrupulosity.
 
AKDee said:
I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
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I am a cradle Catholic and suffer from scruples. It is suggested that you find a priest you trust and do what he says, not what you think you should do.

There is an excellent booklet for those who suffer from scruples that was put out decades ago by the Catholic Truth Society. I’ll see if I can get you a link. 🙂
 
AKDee said:
I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
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I’m a cradle Catholic, although I’m the product of a mixed marriage - dad is Church of England, mother is Catholic. Sometimes wonder whether circumstances of my religious upbringing may have affected my scrupulosity.
 
Dee, here you go:

**Are you Scrupulous? - An Interview with Francis J. O’Boyle, S.J. By Rev Daniel A. Lord S.J. 1938 **

Here is where it used to be: pamphlets.org.au/all-pamphlets-one-page.html

You will find it listed on this page, but I was not able to load it. It appears to be a site under construction. Maybe you can find it elsewhere on the internet.

It is an excellent little booklet.
 
That little booklet can be found here: catholicpamphlets.net/pamphlets/Are%20You%20Scrupulous.pdf.

I’m a convert whose scruples are mostly in the past, but they do come up now and then.

The key for me was learning how to balance a proper self-examination with sincere trust in Jesus. I think it just took time and grace, but I also suspect I had fairly mild scruples.

Well … for the most part! 🙂

(As an aside: I also notice that my scrupulous past has left me with a bit of an animus towards “traditional” Catholicism. I’m still trying to work that out, but I do wonder if sometimes there’s too much of an emphasis on the great distance between us and God, and how easily we can offend Him, within traditional paradigms. Listening to a lot of very good traditional priests often put my scruples into overdrive. I’m not sure why I’m mentioning this, it’s just a thought I wanted to share.)
 
When tempted to be scrupulous I remember a teaching by St Padre Pio. He said “pray, hope, and don’t worry”.
 
AKDee said:
I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them.
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Speaking theologically:

If your struggling with scruples -what may be the case is that you may be going through a case of “transient scruples”. Which is good news in a way. For they are more easily dealt with.

Such can be yes due to your being a convert to the faith. Such is yes noted in theological works in terms of (some of) those who have a conversion (even if they were a Catholic all their life - but now have had a more intense turning to Christ and seeking Christain perfection).

Such can even be helpful for they can make one be more sensitive in conscience in a good way. Helpful that is if you have a regular confessor who can judge your case - and who can then direct you and help you in forming your conscience and in doing so the “transient scruples” can clear up and one can go forward with a better formed conscience and commitment to the Lord.

In any case - a regular confessor is key for those who struggle with scruples - be they transient or a more persistent difficulty.
 
AKDee said:
I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity?
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After over 20 years of work with RCIA, it is my experience that scrupulosity is an individual matter, and has nothing particular to do with converts. In fact, in 20 years, I can’t think of one who suffered from this.
 
Polyphony said:
That little booklet can be found here: catholicpamphlets.net/pamphlets/Are%20You%20Scrupulous.pdf.

I’m a convert whose scruples are mostly in the past, but they do come up now and then.

The key for me was learning how to balance a proper self-examination with sincere trust in Jesus. I think it just took time and grace, but I also suspect I had fairly mild scruples.

Well … for the most part! 🙂

(As an aside: I also notice that my scrupulous past has left me with a bit of an animus towards “traditional” Catholicism. I’m still trying to work that out, but I do wonder if sometimes there’s too much of an emphasis on the great distance between us and God, and how easily we can offend Him, within traditional paradigms. Listening to a lot of very good traditional priests often put my scruples into overdrive. I’m not sure why I’m mentioning this, it’s just a thought I wanted to share.)
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I feel this way 100%! I lean towards the trad side and used to listen to the traditional Catholic audio sermons a lot. Well it really triggered my scruples so I stopped. Recently I thought I could handle listening to them again and did fine for a few days until the priest said something and it got my scrupulosity triggered through the roof! I’m thinking I just cannot handle being exposed to their views. Nearly all the talks are about hell or doom etc… It’s a
shame because I love the TLM
 
AKDee said:
I have a question for those suffering scrupulosity. I, too, suffer from this. I am a convert, and I’ve noted some other scrupulous members are converts. I am curious if scupulosity is more prevalent in converts? I know in particular that I still struggle to determine what is mortal and what is venial sin, despite knowing the three conditions for them. There’s a lot more “rules” to Catholicism than there was to being a protestant and I wonder if that helps drive scrupulosity? Just curious. If you are scrupulous, are you a cradle Catholic or a convert?
Click to expand...
Convert from evangelical Protestantism here. I think my scrupulosity started when I didnt really grasp how to make a confession. I had just been confessing “kind” not number because that’s all I knew. Then I found out and got anxious so I remade the confessions. Then out of nowhere I started getting intrusive thoughts so I confessed them because I thought it was sinful. Anxiety raised a little more…then I decided to make a general confession to ease the anxiety… Well that nearly made me have an anxiety attack!

Then I found out I had to go back and make restitution for all my past injustices to be forgiven. By now my anxiety is so bad I can hardly stand it. I finally repaired almost all of my monetary restitution and then I heard an audio sermon where the priest states restitution MUST be made to the actual owner (but 2 different priests told me give to charity!). Now you may think that’s no big deal but when you are talking this large sum of money like I owed and thinking of making another restitution really upset me! Then out of nowhere the sins of my past trash talkings and detractions come back to haunt me. I’m beginning to feel like
It’s useless because I can’t make up for all these things and I’m going to hell. Just when I think I’ve solved a problem about 10 more pop up in its place.

I’ve read that scrupulous persons frequently lack proper contrition while confession. So this makes me of course doubt all of my past confessions and not even think about going to confession anymore! It’s a damned if I do and damned if I don’t situation and I see no way out of it

Now my confessor has been moved and I’m just drifting along without anyone
 
Another thing, I’ve heard trads mention NFP as bad because we are supposed to raise children for Gods kingdom. But then on another sermon the priest says only a few will be saved! So I get the impression I’m bringing children into the world to end up in hell? That’s assuming they live until baptism or else they end up in limbo without the prospect of ever seeing heaven because “punishment”. But don’t worry they are as perfectly happy as can be without the possibility of meeting their creator. IMO I think trad Catholicism can be extremely damaging to scrupulous people.
 
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