Question on funerals!

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My kids are grown and while I have grown more deeply into my Catholic faith, they have all drifted away. Also, they live across the country, so we really don’t have many conversations about faith any more. (I pray for their return fervently and daily)

Does anyone know of a good apologetics page or blog page about Catholic funerals that I can share with them? I read a great one but can’t find it again - it was about why a Catholic Mass of Christian Burial is so important, rather than having a “celebration of life.”

It gave good reasons and explained better than I could and I’d like my kids to read it and know this is what I want when the time comes, but most pages I am finding are outdated or are rather uncharitable about other types of funerals. I don’t want to debate; I just want to explain why it’s important to me.

Any help would be appreciated!
 
I don’t have any resources for you, but you do know that you can make your arrangements ahead of time and no one will have to make any plans or disappoint you. Everything can be written down with a funeral director and prearranged by them. You can even sign over your insurance policy in some states so that the cost is taken care of. Check into it. Both of my in-laws have everything decided already.

It will take the decision out of their hands.
 
LPS said:
My kids are grown and while I have grown more deeply into my Catholic faith, they have all drifted away. Also, they live across the country, so we really don’t have many conversations about faith any more. (I pray for their return fervently and daily)

Does anyone know of a good apologetics page or blog page about Catholic funerals that I can share with them? I read a great one but can’t find it again - it was about why a Catholic Mass of Christian Burial is so important, rather than having a “celebration of life.”

It gave good reasons and explained better than I could and I’d like my kids to read it and know this is what I want when the time comes, but most pages I am finding are outdated or are rather uncharitable about other types of funerals. I don’t want to debate; I just want to explain why it’s important to me.

Any help would be appreciated!
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It is a luxury for us to be able to plan our funerals and such. the situation of your children is SO common, and there are many reasons for it. I’ve been watching murder mysteries on Netflix, the Midsomer Murders series and Inspector Morse. Church attendance in the UK is so low, both of these shows have permanent characters who are very skeptical about the Christian faith. The other day, there was a program where Inspector Morse is in a Catholic church and he says “this place gives me the creeps” – that’s the sort of reflection of British society today. Perhaps that’s what your children think, too – you know better. But, still, those Brits still go through the motions of a church funeral. That may be the last chance you have to get your children into a church, to have them think about their own mortality, etc. Yes, you can pre-arrange your funeral.

In my parish, we have two churches and one priest. Weekday masses are frequently cancelled due to funerals, and just this past week, our deacon conducted one of the funerals. So, your best-laid plans may not turn out the way you want them to. If your funeral is delayed because your children will be traveling, then maybe there’s more chance to have a funeral Mass, etc. the way your want it.

My view is, a funeral Mass is not a sacrament in itself, it doesn’t add a kicker to your spiritual destination (please PM me if I am wrong). Again, I think having a traditional (expensive) funeral is the best you can do for them, but it is not a requirement. Talk to your priest about what is really important. Buy your cemetery plot and have it blessed in advance.
 
I have heard that you can put in your will that you want a Catholic funeral and burial. If that is not met then your children will not receive any inheritance you would have given them. Harsh? Maybe, but it allows you to be buried the way you want.
 
Sirach,

I am not going to PM you because this needs to be stated in the open. A requiem Mass is another opportunity to pray for the repose of the faithful departed.

Speaking for myself, I know for sure that if nobody prays for me, after death, I will be in purgatory until the end of the world, until the King’s return. I do not desire to suffer there but know that I must make amends for my sins.

A so-called “Celebration of Life”, as envisioned in modern Christianity, does not afford the same opportunity. At most, you will pray that the family be comforted. You will eulogize the dead. These things are not wrong, but they are not the most important part of Catholic burial rites, and the second should not be done at the requiem itself, but rather at the communal meal or the funeral home.
 
LPS said:
My kids are grown and while I have grown more deeply into my Catholic faith, they have all drifted away. Also, they live across the country, so we really don’t have many conversations about faith any more. (I pray for their return fervently and daily)

Does anyone know of a good apologetics page or blog page about Catholic funerals that I can share with them? I read a great one but can’t find it again - it was about why a Catholic Mass of Christian Burial is so important, rather than having a “celebration of life.”

It gave good reasons and explained better than I could and I’d like my kids to read it and know this is what I want when the time comes, but most pages I am finding are outdated or are rather uncharitable about other types of funerals. I don’t want to debate; I just want to explain why it’s important to me.

Any help would be appreciated!
Click to expand...
Perhaps this one? osv.com/Article/TabId/493/ArtMID/13569/ArticleID/10323/What-Every-Catholic-needs-to-know-about-funerals.aspx
 
KildareBrigid said:
I have heard that you can put in your will that you want a Catholic funeral and burial. If that is not met then your children will not receive any inheritance you would have given them. Harsh? Maybe, but it allows you to be buried the way you want.
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But as is often noted, the actual funeral instructions don’t belong in the will, as that document typically isn’t dealt with until Probate or certainly until after the funeral. Often it isn’t even located until then. The actual funeral instructions need to be in a separate document, easily located and its existence and location need to be well publicized to several family members. Bequests to family members that may be conditional upon following specific funeral instructions should, I think, be discussed with an attorney. I would think laws vary from state to state concerning how bequests might be entailed in such a way.
 
Simplest thing would just be to get a pre-paid funeral plan. You may also want to think about leaving some money in your will to a monastery or a mission to have Masses said for your soul.
 
 
I am the only Catholic in my family. I pray daily that my children will convert but…trying to be patient with that one. 🙂

This just reiterates for me that I need to make these arrangements now and not wait for that “someday” when it may be too late. Thanks for all the good answers here.
 
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