Question on how to address people who think they are not their born Gender

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Hi just something In wondering about. As a Catholic what do we call Trans/Gender fluid people? Sometimes it’s hard to tell what gender someone is (who has had hormone surgery or perhaps just born with a different look) but for instance in the work place we (at least in U.K) have to abide by certain “Equal rights” policy’s and laws.

Before I returned to the Church and was still a lapsed ‘Spirtual but not religious’ new age following lost soul, I was In a Job working alongside a colleague who was a man, now identifyig as a woman. Who seemed a decent human being and did alot of charity fundraising work. Since everyone else refferred to her as [Female Name] I also did , though clearly aware He had s five o’clock shadow and was every inch a man in woman’s close, except for a hormonely altered voice tone. If I where now in the same Job I wouldn’t know what to call this person like this, either if using a female name is wrong, or in terms of referring to tjem in third person conversation with the Boss. I am not wanting to fail to see the human dignity of such a person and as a Catholic I always strive to continue to do that, but I cannot simply call them “Human being” any more than I can call them Suzy when they where born Timothy.

Now this is staright forward as a question, but what about people who neither want to be called man or woman ? Who are none identifying.How do you refer to them? It or they doesn’t seem like I am giving them Human dignity at all.

Of course I would rather just call them he or she on account of them being born man or woman, but I could run the risk of loosing my Job for instance.

I’d rather risk that than not do what I correct to bring a person to see their errors. So any advice of how we as Catholics can at least keep the peace in our interactions with Trans Gender people? I find it way more difficult than with Gay people who eat least still know they are Men or Women regardless of their orientation.
 
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Caveat - I’m not Catholic, but I do think I can help (a little).

Call them whatever name they want to be called. Many, many people don’t go by their birth name for lots of reasons. It’s only respectful to call them the name they choose.

I would simply ask the person you’re talking to how they would prefer to be addressed and how they would like to be referred to. If you’re really struggling, I suggest you talk to your Priest and ask for his advice.
 
Yes that is true, and given that I don’t mind calling someone C3PO if that’s what they answer to . My Neighbour changed his name to John Paul George Ringo recently 🙂 I call him Paul for short

But this is not always possible when talking in third person about Someone. For instance in
a work based scenario when givingg a report to a superior , and many other situation where the only using first name of a person is not grammatically correct or makes sense and using They can often imply more than one person when you mean just one individual.

This also is a question for Catholics in particular and I now see I have inadvertently placed it under the wrong topic so apologies for any confusion.
 
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Agreed, you forgot dignity too,but I also made that a point in my post.
 
You ask them how they would like to be addressed, and then that is how you address them. This isn’t hard.
 
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I avoid using pronouns and the name altogether. I’m not rude to them, but I do not encourage mental illness.
 
I call people what they want. Names are not great signifiers of gender. I have known women who were definitely bio women their whole lives who went by names like Jerry and Butchie for reasons unrelated to transgender. I just had to explain to someone that Rainer Maria Rilke was a man. We put too much emphasis on gender in language. Language is a creation of man.
 
JMMJ said:
You ask them how they would like to be addressed, and then that is how you address them. This isn’t hard.
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Absent some serious practical need to do otherwise, do as JMMJ says. It’s a matter of showing respect.
 
That’s my point aswell, I don’t want to encourage it but yet want to treat them as human beings knowing they where made in the image of God no matter what they mistakenly think they where made.
 
Zaccheus said:
It’s a matter of showing respect.
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If someone cares about formalities to that extant.
SPONP4US said:
That’s my point aswell, I don’t want to encourage it but yet want to treat them as human beings knowing they where made in the image of God no matter what they mistakenly think they where made.
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Calling them something or not doing it won’t have a noticeable impact.
 
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I’m only referring to omissions of a word
 
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WOW haven’t run into that here in Abilene. I’d say excuse me what’s your name? If it’s Charles Suzanne, well? That’s what it is. Then I’d put it on my prayer list.
 
I’m extremely confused by today’s standards and use of the word!!!
 
SPONP4US said:
Now this is staright forward as a question, but what about people who neither want to be called man or woman ? Who are none identifying.How do you refer to them?
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I’d say in a work place setting you refer to the person by their preferred name and pronouns, continually dead-naming or misgendering someone will ultimately result in sit down with HR.

As a rule of thumb on pronouns, the boys will be HE, the girls will be SHE, and those that lieth betwixt will be THEY or THEM.
 
I have had 4 adult students who were transgendered and asked me to call them by another name and their preferred pronouns which I did. Try not to take their choices as an affront to your belief system because they really need to be loved and appreciated. A couple of them definitely had low self-esteem issues. Personally, I see similarities of transgendered people to anorexic people since both look in the mirror and see something completely different from the real image, but that is another topic. A therapist friend told me that their transgendered therapy clients have great sadness as they deal with their issues. My advice: Have compassion, be uplifting to them, and be a friend to them.
 
Sursumcorda1 said:
Personally, I see similarities of transgendered people to anorexic people since both look in the mirror and see something completely different from the real image,
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That’s an interesting comparison, and I think you are definitely onto something. It really highlights why it is difficult for some to use someone’s preferred pronouns. It would be like an anorexic person asking you to refer to them as overweight. I would imagine most people would be uncomfortable with doing that as it seems likely to only legitimize the person’s false perception of themselves.

As has been observed in this thread, transgenderism has the cultural zeitgeist behind it at the moment, so it could definitely have negative repercussions at a person’s workplace if they chose not to go with a person’s wishes on the matter. It is interesting to me that these two (anorexia and transgenderism) would be treated so differently, though. There are some pretty key similarities.
 
It’s best to avoid conflict and just address them how they want to be addressed.
 
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