Nekić:
I have been trying to overcome a seveal year long addiction to pornography and masturbation for nearly a month now, with the help of a nice online course with is taking me through 60 days of overcoming the addictions.
www.settingcaptivesfree.com
(NB there is a bit of clash in doctorine, as it’s protestant, but otherwise it’s great).
I fell to masturbation today, and i was wondering if it is a mortal sin or not, considering the circumstances.
Does “force of immaturity” aply to me (i’m 17)? Is the sin lessened by the amount of temptation on my back as is normal for overcoming any other addiction?
Any replies will be greatly appreciated.
Dear friend
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I can imagine your sadness and agony over this, it must be very difficult for you. You are intent on ceasing this particular sin and yet there is the temptation and the weakness of the human mortal frame that keeps leading you on this path even though you are trying in many ways to avoid committing this sin.
You know what you want to do, but then you end up doing the exact opposite. You kick yourself everytime and resolve to start again, this is the human weakness. Human weakness though does not become a loop hole to do what we secretly desire to do in our broken mortal frame. That can be the catch 22 situation that’s easy to fall into to, we experience the fury of the height of battle against sin of any kind and feel we will never conquer it. Of course that is true if we were alone to conquer sin, as humans we are very weak, appallingly weak, but friend, we are not alone to conquer sin, Christ Jesus resides here with us to aid us by the Sacraments and by walking constantly with us. It is in Christ Jesus we have our strength even when we are very weak.
Christ Jesus sees and knows you most intimately, better than you know yourself. He takes you on a journey of the ‘self’ in order to recreate the ‘self’, to in effect destroy, to break, the broken human self and recreate you in His Image which is what truly humans are meant to be intended by God and this will bring about the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. This begins in your Divine life with God at Baptism and continues until death. This is all the Will of the Father since the foundations of the earth, that every soul He created in, by and with His Son, by the power of the Holy Spirit, should bear Divine character and live in union with Him.
Your journey at 17 years old has been going for such a short space of time (compared to eternity!) and there is much to go through and much for the Divine Teacher , Christ Jesus to show and tell you.
You must not become jaded and feel defeated. In Christ Jesus there is NO DEFEAT! There is only victory.
You must stay close to the Church and the Sacraments, this is the Rock, the safe place to hide in where Christ Jesus provides everything for His flock. You must plead the Precious wounds of Christ Jesus infront of the Blessed Sacrament for graces to resist sin of any nature.
You must never look at any situation in life and think it is so hard and difficult that it is greater than Christ Jesus, nothing is greater than God. He makes all things new continually, if we respond to every grace and blessing.
Continue as you are striving to please the One you love, God and to move ever closer in friendship and union with Him, if this is your continued intent He will never deny you.
He doesn’t sit as a strict judge who makes extreme note of every minute detail and every time you fall, He looks to your LOVE and your intent.
Love and keep your resolve in Him. Persevere! He desires you persevere and He loves you infinitely.
Talk to God, tell Him everything and put all things into His hands, trust in His Providence and live in His Love and Friendship, live the Gospel, do what He tells you and live the Joyous Eucharistic life! The Kingdom of Heaven is here, we should be wonderous like little children, trusting in our Merciful and Loving Father!
Remaining in my prayers.
God Bless you and much love and peace to you
Teresa