Question on mortal sin (a bit personal)

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I have been trying to overcome a seveal year long addiction to pornography and masturbation for nearly a month now, with the help of a nice online course with is taking me through 60 days of overcoming the addictions.
www.settingcaptivesfree.com
(NB there is a bit of clash in doctorine, as it’s protestant, but otherwise it’s great).

I fell to masturbation today, and i was wondering if it is a mortal sin or not, considering the circumstances.
Does “force of immaturity” aply to me (i’m 17)? Is the sin lessened by the amount of temptation on my back as is normal for overcoming any other addiction?

Any replies will be greatly appreciated.
 
Dear Daniel,

I was in a similar situation 4 things got me passed it, 1) The Eucharist. 2) Reconcillation every time i caved (Before receiving Communion). 3) The Rosary 3 times a day. 4) The final thing that clinched it for me was that i knew i was trying my best, and Jesus would forgive me if i did fail. That gave me the most strength of all because i knew i didn’t want to hurt him, i was just weak.

Back to your question, the greater the degree of temptation and addiction, the lesser you are responsible, making the sin less serious. Saying that, however, if someone was not to try to resist as best they can and get passed addictions, then it is a mortal sin indeed.

May God bless you in your endeavours, and be assured you are in my prayers.
 
Nekić:
I have been trying to overcome a seveal year long addiction to pornography and masturbation for nearly a month now, with the help of a nice online course with is taking me through 60 days of overcoming the addictions.
www.settingcaptivesfree.com
(NB there is a bit of clash in doctorine, as it’s protestant, but otherwise it’s great).

I fell to masturbation today, and i was wondering if it is a mortal sin or not, considering the circumstances.
Does “force of immaturity” aply to me (i’m 17)? Is the sin lessened by the amount of temptation on my back as is normal for overcoming any other addiction?

Any replies will be greatly appreciated.
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Dear friend

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I can imagine your sadness and agony over this, it must be very difficult for you. You are intent on ceasing this particular sin and yet there is the temptation and the weakness of the human mortal frame that keeps leading you on this path even though you are trying in many ways to avoid committing this sin.

You know what you want to do, but then you end up doing the exact opposite. You kick yourself everytime and resolve to start again, this is the human weakness. Human weakness though does not become a loop hole to do what we secretly desire to do in our broken mortal frame. That can be the catch 22 situation that’s easy to fall into to, we experience the fury of the height of battle against sin of any kind and feel we will never conquer it. Of course that is true if we were alone to conquer sin, as humans we are very weak, appallingly weak, but friend, we are not alone to conquer sin, Christ Jesus resides here with us to aid us by the Sacraments and by walking constantly with us. It is in Christ Jesus we have our strength even when we are very weak.

Christ Jesus sees and knows you most intimately, better than you know yourself. He takes you on a journey of the ‘self’ in order to recreate the ‘self’, to in effect destroy, to break, the broken human self and recreate you in His Image which is what truly humans are meant to be intended by God and this will bring about the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. This begins in your Divine life with God at Baptism and continues until death. This is all the Will of the Father since the foundations of the earth, that every soul He created in, by and with His Son, by the power of the Holy Spirit, should bear Divine character and live in union with Him.

Your journey at 17 years old has been going for such a short space of time (compared to eternity!) and there is much to go through and much for the Divine Teacher , Christ Jesus to show and tell you.

You must not become jaded and feel defeated. In Christ Jesus there is NO DEFEAT! There is only victory.

You must stay close to the Church and the Sacraments, this is the Rock, the safe place to hide in where Christ Jesus provides everything for His flock. You must plead the Precious wounds of Christ Jesus infront of the Blessed Sacrament for graces to resist sin of any nature.

You must never look at any situation in life and think it is so hard and difficult that it is greater than Christ Jesus, nothing is greater than God. He makes all things new continually, if we respond to every grace and blessing.

Continue as you are striving to please the One you love, God and to move ever closer in friendship and union with Him, if this is your continued intent He will never deny you.

He doesn’t sit as a strict judge who makes extreme note of every minute detail and every time you fall, He looks to your LOVE and your intent.

Love and keep your resolve in Him. Persevere! He desires you persevere and He loves you infinitely.

Talk to God, tell Him everything and put all things into His hands, trust in His Providence and live in His Love and Friendship, live the Gospel, do what He tells you and live the Joyous Eucharistic life! The Kingdom of Heaven is here, we should be wonderous like little children, trusting in our Merciful and Loving Father!

Remaining in my prayers.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Addiction to sex and pornography lessens culpability in that one’s personal freedom in choice is restricted. However, these are still serious ills and sins and must be confessed regularly to a priest. THink of this as seeing your spiritual doctor. When one is sick, one sees a doctor. In this case we see a priest in the sacrament of reconciliation. Some say, why go to confession when I know I will continue to sin (this is Satan talking). I answer, when a person has a very serious illness, do they stop seeing a physician after 1 visit or stop taking their medicine after 1 dose? No! Thus, you must go to confession with your confessor frequently for grace and mercy to kick this addiction. You must make the effort. Everytime you screw up, you must continue.

God bless you!
Bob
 
trailblazer said:
Addiction to sex and pornography lessens culpability in that one’s personal freedom in choice is restricted. However, these are still serious ills and sins and must be confessed regularly to a priest. THink of this as seeing your spiritual doctor. When one is sick, one sees a doctor. In this case we see a priest in the sacrament of reconciliation. Some say, why go to confession when I know I will continue to sin (this is Satan talking). I answer, when a person has a very serious illness, do they stop seeing a physician after 1 visit or stop taking their medicine after 1 dose? No! Thus, you must go to confession with your confessor frequently for grace and mercy to kick this addiction. You must make the effort. Everytime you screw up, you must continue.

God bless you!
Bob
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Dear Bob

A great post Bob.

People see the Priest, that is true. I think people have a problem getting past the human character of the Priest in Confession and forget that actually they are seeing Christ Jesus, the Priest being the ‘another Christ’. I think even the phrase ‘another Christ’ gives cause for people still to be further worried and anxious. Rather I would say that the priest is acting ‘in the Divine Person of Christ’

It can cause many problems for people and people avoid confession for this very simple fact of seeing a Priest forgetting that the Priest is acting here as ‘another Christ’. The Priests says ‘I absolve you…’ This is the absolution of Christ Jesus, not the Priest, but the Priests character in the Sacrament of reconcilation is Christ Jesus and all the words that the Priest gives are the words of Christ Jesus to aid and assist the penitent.

The Priest is the Priest of Christ Jesus, in, by and through Him, there is only One Priest and that is Christ Jesus, in His humble and faithful servants, the Ordained Priest, we meet with Christ Jesus in all of the Sacraments by the very nature of their Office, which of course, the Office is infallible, whereas often the Priest being a sinner themselves are not. Though the character of their soul ordained as a Priest gives many graces by the Power of the Holy Spirit to sustain them in their Divine Office as Priest.

(On an aside, what a vocation to be a Priest! What a great Blessing to serve! That alone should make every man consider and discern a possible calling of Vocation to the Priesthood!🙂 Please all pray for Vocations for the workers to the Lord’s harvest.)

When we go into the Confessional we are meeting most intimately with our Merciful Lord, the Divine Healer, it is a meeting of love and friendship, it is a Sacrament of healing.

God Bless you Bob and your family and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
Lets look closer at temptation…using a model I call the Ladder of Temptation:

You can find yourself on the lower rung of the ladder through no fault of your own. You can find yourself on the lower rung of the ladder by putting yourself into situations you should not be in - things that you recognize as stimulii, such as a TV program, being around certain friends, etc.

Matthew: 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.

Now, the moment you recognize that you are on the ladder is the same opportunity you have to step down. By remaining for even one second longer, you are likely to climb higher up the Ladder of Temptation. Each rung you climb, makes it harder to get down without “falling”. Each rung, represents a “yes” to sin, and a “no” to God’s plea to step down.

Should you fall, you need to take note of just how high up the ladder you were when this happened. This represents how hard you fought. If you fell only half-way up, then you only put in a half-hearted effort. If you fell from the top, then you have to learn from it and understand how you allowed yourself to climb that high to begin with.

With any sinful habit or addiction (and keep in mind, even gossiping can be a difficult thing to stop), it is most helpful to find a single confessor. Whether you use a screen or face to face it doesn’t matter. Whether you use a priest you know or drive elsewhere to preserve anonymity, it doesn’t matter. But, when you find that priest, make sure you tell him that you are battling an addiction. Consider telling him that you would like to come back to him if you fall in this nature. Push yourself to go back to the same man, even if it has only been a few days, as this can be a real deterrent and an aid during the temptation stage.

Ask the Blessed Mother for help. Pray a rosary daily and ask for her to help you learn to fight temptation.

You never know…you may just hear her in your heart when you feel yourself tempted, telling you, “If you don’t get down right now from that ladder, you will have to go tell my Son through ‘Fr. Joe’ that you ignored His mother!”

Now that’s incentive!

Prayers for you and add some devotions to your day to take some time up.

Never, ever give up. Hopelessness and despair are seeds of the devil and he hopes they spout into the rejection of God’s love and mercy.
 
Many thanks to all.

I don’t have a single problem going to confession. I love going. It’s just annoying that when i do fall, i have to wait till the next avaliable saturday to go: it’s only on saturdays during adoration at 4:30-5:30, and saturday is a bad day for me, i usually work then.

I have a frequent confessor, and it’s easy to confess to him.

…i don’t know…

Anyway, thank you for your replies.
 
This might seem harsh, but avoid looking. If you look away quickly; the less you will see, and the less you will react. That can apply to billboards, women on the street, images in tv, magazines, movies, etc.

In the Old Testament David fell into sin because he did not avert his eyes. He kept looking at a naked married woman and he fell into temptation. If he had avoided looking, he would not have fell into the serious sins of adultery, lust and murder.

It is not easy to do. In the beginning you have to force yourself not to look. As time goes on, it becomes more and more natural and you look away without even thinking about it. It does take practice however.
 
Maybe someone here can suggest for you here a great internet filter??? Which will block any of these sites???
 
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misericordie:
Maybe someone here can suggest for you here a great internet filter??? Which will block any of these sites???
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That would be an excellent idea. Anyone have any suggestions? All will be greatly appreciated.
 
A repetitive sin of weakness like what you describe can still be mortal. Keep going to confession and get all the graces you can.

An internet filter may or may not be a good idea. If the internet is your main hazard, just being on the net anywhere while alone could tempt you. It depends on where you are at with this problem. I mean, you could be on a site, look at your address bar, and then just say to yourself, well what about the address of my fav site? And unless you squash it well, the thought can nag at you in the back of your mind for days…

Its a personal thing, I guess. You know the list of stuff you have to avoid to get the job done. Best Wishes in this matter!
 
It is commendable that you are trying to live a moral life. Give yourself credit for the successes in avoiding sin even though there are still moments of weakness. Each success is a step further on the spiritual path because it means you are learning to deal with temptation and thus choosing God over sin.

A helpful three step technique called “Thought Stopping” can be used anytime a person begins to ruminate on any kind of worrisome thought.
  1. First recognize that you are obsessing over something. Say to yourself “There I go again.”
  2. Picture a large stop sign appearing before your eyes and mentally say “stop.” If no one is around, you can even say “stop” out loud as you picture the sign.
  3. Divert your thoughts and/or mental images to something holy (an image of Mary, the tabernacle at Church) or any healthy, peaceful image. It could be an image of a fishing lake you enjoy or an image of hiking in woods----whatever is a peaceful thought and image for you.
Repeat the steps if necessary. This will also help to decrease your anxiety over the inappropriate intrusive thoughts or images.

God bless you. :tiphat:
 
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Blanka:
A helpful three step technique called “Thought Stopping” can be used anytime a person begins to ruminate on any kind of worrisome thought.
  1. First recognize that you are obsessing over something. Say to yourself “There I go again.”
  2. Picture a large stop sign appearing before your eyes and mentally say “stop.” If no one is around, you can even say “stop” out loud as you picture the sign.
  3. Divert your thoughts and/or mental images to something holy (an image of Mary, the tabernacle at Church) or any healthy, peaceful image. It could be an image of a fishing lake you enjoy or an image of hiking in woods----whatever is a peaceful thought and image for you.
Repeat the steps if necessary. This will also help to decrease your anxiety over the inappropriate intrusive thoughts or images.

God bless you. :tiphat:
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That’s COOL! I’m going to try that one!
Thanks!!!
 
Do you know what clinched it for me.

In the beginning, I found myself wanting to do it, but stopping myself, and feeling proud, but would then fall into it again. I didnt know what to do, but it was when a huge change of mentality occurred. I hope that if you think in the way i do know you will be able to stop easily. My train of thought was thus:

To commit the solitay sin is to sin against God, this hurts God.
If I love God why would i hurt him??
If i truly loved God, i would stop sinning entirely, especially, this mortal sin.
I realized that it is not enough to stop the action, but to know and believe that you love God SO much, you have no desire for any sin. Once you believe this, it is easy.
 
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Magicsilence:
Do you know what clinched it for me.

In the beginning, I found myself wanting to do it, but stopping myself, and feeling proud, but would then fall into it again. I didnt know what to do, but it was when a huge change of mentality occurred. I hope that if you think in the way i do know you will be able to stop easily. My train of thought was thus:

To commit the solitay sin is to sin against God, this hurts God.
If I love God why would i hurt him??
If i truly loved God, i would stop sinning entirely, especially, this mortal sin.
I realized that it is not enough to stop the action, but to know and believe that you love God SO much, you have no desire for any sin. Once you believe this, it is easy.
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That is an extreemely good way to put it…I bit to grasp though… it’ll tkae me a while to wrap my brain around it…
thanks.
 
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