Question on permanent birth control methods

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Ok, I know how I feel, and why I feel that way; to my mind, only God opens and closes the womb…but I have a friend who is on the fence about it – after several miscarriages, and many years of fertility issues…they have decided they can’t take anymore. She is very hesitant because as she put it “while I’m not catholic, I just don’t know if it’s right with God, so we’re going to do a bible study on it before we make any plans” –

What I need to know from all you good people is this: where can I point her in the bible? I don’t know that I’m a very good “bible studier” – but she is, and that’s where she’s turning for her answers, which is great; I know it has to be in there in one way or another, but I was hoping you all could point me to some scripture? Thanks a million…I kinda feel surprised she’s telling me all this, but then I wonder if the Holy Spirit isn’t working thru me in this way; so I don’t want to screw it up!!! 😉
 
Get her to read something written by Christopher West. Or maybe start out with just a Christopher West CD. He points out biblical teaching about the Theology of the body. There are more than just one title written by him so find the one that may be the most appealing to her.
 
Have you ever recommended she/they take an NFP class. I think this wold be more appropriate to their issue and I would think that a fair amount of scripture would/ could be discussed. NFP is a tremendous aid to couples who find it difficult to conceive and carry children to term. Plus they will be in the company of people sympathetic to their situation.

I have to agree with Christopher West. He does a great job putting theology of the body in simpler terms and his books would be a good source of relevant scripture.
 
I “third” the Christopher West CD. You can get one free at www.catholicity.com and then give it to her. 🙂

Also, you could point out that her hesitation is probably the fact that her soul knows God wouldn’t want her to move forward with anything permanent. Miracles do still happen, and to make such a permanent change is like telling God to keep His miracles.

I’ll say a prayer for her and her husband that they’ll hear God’s words through you. :hug1:
 
She is very hesitant because as she put it “while I’m not catholic, I just don’t know if it’s right with God, so we’re going to do a bible study on it before we make any plans” –
If she’s protestant, she might interpret the Bible just about any way she wants. She may find a way to ‘justify’ what she wants to do.

I might use some history - no churches approved of abc before the 1930’s. —KCT
 
Kimberly Hahn has a very thorough study on Proverbs 31. Or you could give your friend her book, Life Giving Love.
 
Here is the “short answer” on what the Bible says about artificial birth control:

Gen 38:9-10 – Onan knew, however, that the descendants would not be counted as his; so whenever he had relations with his brother’s widow, he wasted his seed on the ground, to avoid contributing offspring for his brother. What he did greatly offended the Lord; and the Lord took his life too.

For centuries, “Onanism” was the generic term for all artificial birth control methods, including withdrawal. Even the early Protestant reformers vigorously condemned it. Some modern scholars, however, will argue that Onan was killed for his selfishness in refusing to conceive children for his dead brother’s name, not for his contraceptive act. However, the penalty for defying Levirate law was not death, but public humiliation. See Deut 25:5-10 below. Also, Tamar’s father-in-law Judah and other brother-in-law Shelah were also guilty of refusing to conceive children for their son/brother Er, but they were not killed, only Onan was. Therefore, it must have been what Onan DID – withdrawal during intercourse – that merited death, not his mere intention to avoid children for his brother.

Deut 25:5-10 – When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall assume the name of his dead brother, so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel. But if the man does not desire to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, ‘My husband’s brother refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel; he is not willing to perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.’ Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. And if he persists and says, ‘I do not desire to take her,’ then his brother’s wife shall come to him in the sight of the elders, and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face; and she shall declare, ‘Thus it is done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house.’ In Israel his name shall be called, ‘The house of him whose sandal is removed.’

In the New Testament, the Greek term “pharmakeia,” the root from which we get “pharmacy” and “pharmaceuticals,” literally means “herbal potions mixed for secret purposes, with prayers to the spirits for greater effectiveness.” Thus, it is frequently translated as “witchcraft” or “sorcery.” Many scholars believe “pharmakeia” refers to contraceptive and abortifacient herbs, especially since it is always condemned within a list of sexual sins:

Gal 5:19-20 – Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Rev 9:21 – Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic potions, their unchastity, or their robberies.

Rev 21:8 – But as for cowards, the unfaithful, the depraved, the unchaste, sorcerers, idol-worshipers, and deceivers of every sort, their lot is in the burning pool of fire and sulfur, which is the second death.

Rev 22:15 – Outside [the heavenly city] are the dogs, the sorcerers, the unchaste, the idol-worshipers, and all those who love and practice deceit.

Gathering the “long answer” – scriptures on authentic love, covenantal unity of marriage, children as blessings from God, infertility as a curse, God’s call to generosity, abstinence, Tradition, teaching authority of the Church, and Christian discipleship – will take a little longer, so give me another day or two.

Your original thread title referred to permanent birth control methods, so I assume your friend is considering sterilization? Here is some info about tubal ligations and vasectomy you may want to share with her.
ccli.org/nfp/contraception/tubal.php
ccli.org/nfp/contraception/vasectomy.php

Best wishes,
Christine
 
Your friend might also consider that permanent birth control really is not a very good solution if she has suffered from infertility. I am sure also that a miscarriage is terribly heartbreaking, but what does she think happens to the babies that she has lost? Does she think that God abandons them? I’m sure she doesn’t think this, and while it might be difficult for her to see this now, she is a mother. Her babies are waiting for her in heaven. I just can’t see where she would find any peace in knowing that the reason she has not had the joy of holding her own precious baby is because she made the decision that she didn’t want that to be a possibility. Why would she think that she knows better than God?

I’m writing this as someone who deeply grieves having consented to such a procedure myself. I truly do pray that your friend, Catholic or not, learns to value her fertility and the potential for new life that she now has.
 
Okay, so this took me a little longer than “a day or two.” The longer answer to “What does the Bible say about birth control?”:

**PUTTING NFP INTO CONTEXT:
WHAT SCRIPTURE HAS TO SAY ABOUT LOVE, MARRIAGE,
BIRTH CONTROL, AND CHRISTIAN DISCIPLESHIP

Authentic Love: Eros vs. Agape
Mt 22:39 – Love your neighbor as yourself.
Jn 13:34-35 – Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
Jn 15:13 – Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
1 Cor 13:4-8 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails
**
Covenant Unity of Marriage
Gen 1:27-28
– So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.”
Mk 10:6-8, quoting Gen 2:24 – But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Eph 5:25-33 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy…without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

**Divorce and Remarriage
Mk 10:9,11-12 – **Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate…Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.
1 Cor 7:10-11 – To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband, but if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

**Children as Blessings
Ps 127:3 – **Behold, children are a gift from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Ps 128:1-4 – Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways…blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord.

**Generosity in Parenthood
Lk 6:38 – **Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Mt 18:5 – And whoever welcomes a little child like this in My Name welcomes Me.
Mt 25:40 – …Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.

to be continued…
 
continued from above…

****Sterility
Crushed testicles is called a defect and a blemish.
Lev 21:17-20 – "Speak to Aaron, saying, 'No man of your offspring throughout their generations who has a defect shall approach to offer the food of his God. For no one who has a defect shall approach: a blind man, or a lame man, or he who has a disfigured face, or any deformed limb, or a man who has a broken foot or broken hand, or a hunchback or a dwarf, or one who has a defect in his eye or eczema or scabs or crushed testicles.
Lev 22:24 – 'Also anything with its testicles bruised or crushed or torn or cut, you shall not offer to the LORD, or sacrifice in your land,
Deut 23:1 – "No one who is emasculated or has his male organ cut off shall enter the assembly of the LORD.
Severe punishment is prescribed for even potential damage to genitals:
Deut 25:11-12
– "If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.

Artificial Birth Control
As listed previously in the “short answer” to “What does the Bible say about birth control?”:
**Gen 38:9-10
Gal 5:19-21
Rev 9:21
Rev 21:8
Rev 22:15
**
Newly appearing in this, the “long answer”:
Mt 7:15-20 – Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. By their fruits shall you know them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So **by their fruits you will know them.
**
“Humanae Vitae” predicted in 1968 that a widespread acceptance of contraception would lead to
  • conjugal infidelity and the general lowering of morality
  • man would lose respect for woman, considering her a “mere instrument of selfish enjoyment rather than as his respected and beloved companion,” disregarding her physical/psychological well-being
  • governments would employ coercive family planning programs
  • we would believe falsely that we have unlimited control over our bodies, treating them like machines, losing awe and respect for human persons, body and soul
    Forty years later we see these predictions have come true. Because of birth control’s false promise that you won’t get pregnant, millions of people are having sex outside of marriage, resulting in diseases, out-of-wedlock births, abortions, adultery, divorce, abandonment, poverty, etc. Very bad fruits…
And, originally applied to a husband and wife joined in marriage, but which can also be applied to the unitive and procreative (bonding and babies) aspects of sex: **
Mk 10:9** – Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.

to be continued…
 
continued from above…

Abstinence
The Lord understands that there are times and situations not ideal for bearing children. But in such a “time of distress,” the Lord did NOT say, “Go ahead and engage in contracepted sex.” Rather, the Lord said, “Do not marry,” “Act as not having a wife” (in other words, refrain from sexual relations), and “Refrain from sexual relations by mutual consent and for a time.”
Jer 16:1-2 – This message came to me from the Lord: Do not marry any woman; you shall not have sons or daughters in this place.
1 Cor 7:26, 29 – So this is what I think best because of the present distress…From now on, let those having wives act as not having them.
1 Cor 7:3-5 – The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Eccl 3:1,5 – There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to embrace and a time to refrain [from embracing].
1 Thess 4:3-6 – This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality, that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God; not to take advantage of, or exploit a brother in this matter, for the Lord is an avenger in all things, as we told you before and have solemnly affirmed.
Jn 15:13 – Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
1 Cor 13:4-8 – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Gal 5:22-24 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.
2 Cor 12:9 – My grace is sufficient for you.

Tradition
Jn 20:30-31
– Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
Jn 21:24-25 – This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true. Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
2 Tim 2:2 – And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.

Teaching Authority of the Church (Magisterium)
Mt 16:18-19
– And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not overcome it. It will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth I will bind in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Jn 14:16-17,26 – And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you…But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you.
Jn 15:18-20, 22 – If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it wold love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin.

to be continued…
 
continued from above…

Christian Discipleship
Jn 3:16
– For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Jn 14:23-24 – If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me, will not obey my teaching.
Mt 7:13-14,21 – Enter through the narrow gate: For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destructionk and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it…Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
Lk 9:23 – Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me…”
Lk 22:42 – Not my will, but Yours be done.
1 Thess 4:7-8 – For God did not call us to impurity but to holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not a human being, but God, who also gives his Holy Spirit to you.

**Fraternal Correction
Some say, “Judge not lest ye be judged,” but should we let fellow Christians continue in sin, saying nothing to warn them?
Mt 18:15-17 – If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that “by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.” If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Gal 6:1 – Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. **
Eph 4:15
– Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
Not from Scripture exactly, but…
Instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish the sinner. (among the Spiritual Works of Mercy, companions to the Corporal Works of Mercy, Mt 25:42-43)

Whew, you know, BOOKS have been written about this subject, but I think that about covers my contribution here… (pant, pant, wiping sweat off my brow) I hope it’s helpful to your Protestant friend.

Best wishes,
Christine
 
You’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re still keeping tabs on this thread since so much time had passed since I last posted the “short answer.” 🙂
 
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