M
manualman
Guest
I’ve tried this question before and never got a satisfactory response. I get that the process investigates the conditions at the time of the marriage. If there is defective consent on the wedding day, the marriage is determined to be null.
But this seems to be bad theology to me! Are not the COUPLE the ministers of the sacrament of matrimony? If so, why is what happens in the (sometime MANY) years AFTER the wedding considered irrelevant? Let’s say there was defective consent at the time of the wedding because one of the couple intended to use contraception forever and never have children. Five years later, there is an OOPS with the condom, a baby results, the father repents and sees the sinful selfishness of his ways and they have 4 more kids. 20 years later, he has an affair, divorces his wife and their marriage is declared null due to the defective consent on the wedding day. (BTW, I heard this story second hand as true, but can’t verify it myself).
Objection #1: If the defect is later removed via maturation or repentance, and the COUPLE are the actual ministers of the sacrament, why does not the marriage simply become sacramental automatically at that point?
Objection #2: If indeed all that matters is the status of defects on the day of wedding, why does the church not encourage regular examination of conscience and renewal of vows for those who wonder if their immaturity at the time of wedding might be depriving them for life of the grace of the sacrament?! Just imagine how many couples must be out there THINKING they are married, but in reality not because of a long ago resolved sin or defect. Why is there no pastoral outreach to help those people realize what they lack and get them the grace of the sacrament.
It strikes me as scandalous that we give the appearance of setting up nearly ALL our marriages for potential nullity since the vast majority of us marry young, immature and clueless about what it will really be like.
But this seems to be bad theology to me! Are not the COUPLE the ministers of the sacrament of matrimony? If so, why is what happens in the (sometime MANY) years AFTER the wedding considered irrelevant? Let’s say there was defective consent at the time of the wedding because one of the couple intended to use contraception forever and never have children. Five years later, there is an OOPS with the condom, a baby results, the father repents and sees the sinful selfishness of his ways and they have 4 more kids. 20 years later, he has an affair, divorces his wife and their marriage is declared null due to the defective consent on the wedding day. (BTW, I heard this story second hand as true, but can’t verify it myself).
Objection #1: If the defect is later removed via maturation or repentance, and the COUPLE are the actual ministers of the sacrament, why does not the marriage simply become sacramental automatically at that point?
Objection #2: If indeed all that matters is the status of defects on the day of wedding, why does the church not encourage regular examination of conscience and renewal of vows for those who wonder if their immaturity at the time of wedding might be depriving them for life of the grace of the sacrament?! Just imagine how many couples must be out there THINKING they are married, but in reality not because of a long ago resolved sin or defect. Why is there no pastoral outreach to help those people realize what they lack and get them the grace of the sacrament.
It strikes me as scandalous that we give the appearance of setting up nearly ALL our marriages for potential nullity since the vast majority of us marry young, immature and clueless about what it will really be like.