Question on Writing Intimate Contact (Or Near)

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So I have a question, and have been trying to google the answer. I have for a time, been writing erotic roleplay with another person online, with the two characters being married. Okay, I know it’s wrong to do that, and I decided to stop RPing erotic stuff with the person. Person was a bit miffed, but got over it. I think.

Anyhow, I decided that we’d just only RP going near, you know like kissing, but leaving out the mentioning of graphical body parts, and only RP up to the point of taking clothes off…or at least, up to the point of attempting to take, or taking the shirt off part. I’m just wondering, is even that going too far? Or what?
 
Sounds to me like you’re playing with fire. I’d remove myself from that situation entirely. And tell your confessor about this in Confession, if you haven’t yet.
 
I have zero access to a Traditional Catholic priest to even ask about this, and I don’t imagine I will for some time. So I’m trying to find information online as best as I can.

Thing is, I’m just slightly dependant on the relationship because, I’m sort of feeling lonely half the time, and the time I tried to withdraw completely and “break up”, ended up sending me into a depression.

The only reason we RP “implied” character sex now, is so that we can have an “opportunity” to RP getting a kid. Sort of like you see in the movies where they go and it blacks out…just a little earlier than they do in the movies.

I prefer romance and just in general taking care of eachother scenes, and not the leading to sex scenes though. I mean, the physical contact and kissing, without getting too indepth if I can help it, I feel is ok, but the farther it goes, the more worried I get. So I don’t know when to say “Ok it’s implied the characters do it, let’s quit.” or what. I know the danger can lead to arousal and other things, but I’m not sure of the point in which it starts getting wrong, and I want to avoid getting morally wrong but not just quit doing the romance and what not altogether. So the point I try to quit at would be before it starts getting into pornography. That includes for me, touching of “parts” even not dressed.
 
So basically what it sounds like, is I’m putting myself in a voluntary occasion of sin. Even if I try to avoid being turned on by the partial lead up, and keep from thinking bad thoughts. And putting myself into a voluntary occasion of sin is a sin of presumption? (I haven’t figured out if that is a mortal sin or not either.)

I mean it sounds like damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. I know I already cut back the level of being turned on by stopping before it turns into pornography.

So…what counts as not so voluntary then and more remote? What doesn’t end up turning me on because I know it’s going to lead to it? Because I still need that closeness and love (not the sex or really the leadup), as I don’t really have any access to…any friends really at all, or any potential future mates.
 
Zala said:
So I have a question, and have been trying to google the answer. I have for a time, been writing erotic roleplay with another person online, with the two characters being married. Okay, I know it’s wrong to do that, and I decided to stop RPing erotic stuff with the person. Person was a bit miffed, but got over it. I think.

Anyhow, I decided that we’d just only RP going near, you know like kissing, but leaving out the mentioning of graphical body parts, and only RP up to the point of taking clothes off…or at least, up to the point of attempting to take, or taking the shirt off part. I’m just wondering, is even that going too far? Or what?
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I have been role playing for years…in fact it was a Catholic girl who introduced me to this forum (she knew that I was an unsatisfied atheist)…the world of rp can be fabulous…and there is no need for it to be erotic, it can be a vast adventurous journey of the mind… and although I often do erotic, I find the adventurous ones to be a lot more satisfying with most people.
 
I would suggest treating sex like bathroom scenes. In other words, leave them out. You can RP having a child without going into details, just – she gets pregnant 3 months after the wedding, or something.
Why put yourself into near occasions of sin? As prometheus says, RP can be fun but doesn’t need to be erotic.
If that’s your only friendship or human contact, I would encourage you to reach out to live people instead of just on the internet. RP is not really contact, any more than watching TV is. Real friendship is much better for you.
 
Zala said:
I still need that closeness and love (not the sex or really the leadup), as I don’t really have any access to…any friends really at all, or any potential future mates.
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I’m sorry to hear that you find yourself in an isolated situation for whatever reasons. Rather than micro-analyze “how far you can go” in role playing, why not leave that aside for now. As a stop-gap measure, why not make some friends on here, and talk about wholesome things, instead of doing RP that is an occasion of sin for you?

And if you care to share, how is it that you don’t have access to any friends?
 
The “let’s very loosely imply, but entirely leave out” I could probably do. I’d just have to talk to my roleplaying partner about it, because I far more enjoy what could be classified as the “cute mushy stuff”, than what might come off as slightly erotic foreplay. I admit it’s my partner’s acceptance to my catholic views I’m a bit worried about. I lament the fact that said person’s catholic parent did not teach them the catholic faith. Would make it much easier.

As for how I don’t have any RL friends, I have made up for with plenty of internet friends. I just have not managed to have any Catholic friends (not Christian, because I’ve met a Witness and Baptist and they call themselves “Christian”), but actually Traditionally Catholic that I could talk to and actually share the same views.

I recently moved (well, as recently as I can call it) to a foreign country, and don’t speak the language well. But my understanding of this place is that the culture is semi lazy and lying to your face, and the only actual Catholic church might be the SSPX church some 500 miles from here. But I heard there have been some issues with them. As for friends, there haven’t been any close by, who aren’t busy and I can really see and talk to.
 
Zala said:
So I have a question, and have been trying to google the answer. I have for a time, been writing erotic roleplay with another person online, with the two characters being married. Okay, I know it’s wrong to do that, and I decided to stop RPing erotic stuff with the person. Person was a bit miffed, but got over it. I think.

Anyhow, I decided that we’d just only RP going near, you know like kissing, but leaving out the mentioning of graphical body parts, and only RP up to the point of taking clothes off…or at least, up to the point of attempting to take, or taking the shirt off part. I’m just wondering, is even that going too far? Or what?
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I have to admit I’d never heard of this before. You mean you exchange emails/posts/messages/chats with someone and you both write to keep the story going?

I think you’re wise to take a step back, otherwise you’ll soon find yourself writing porn. The classic joke: “What’s the difference between porn and erotica? The lighting.”

The other person was miffed. Do you care? Is this someone you’ve developed a relationship with outside of the RP fiction?
 
Yes, that’s what roleplay is, two or more participants writing together to further a story. Sometimes it has a plot, sometimes it doesn’t. I roleplay a character on a roleplaying site, who ended up dating and getting married to someone else. Most people who do that on that site, tend to mix RL with In Character too heavily, and are looking to boost their egos with actually little to no writing. (And thus often, they leave eachother within a few weeks or less.) Mine, since I deal mainly in writing, and not mixing Out of Character talks with that sort of thing, has lasted a few months and has not really sprung to any RL/OOC weirdness.

Unfortunately, developing it all that way does end up creating some OOC feelings of attachment, though I wouldn’t describe them as true relationship ones. More like just close friends. As OOC/RL we have no desire to be with eachother whatsoever and don’t think of eachother that way. I know it is a bit of delving into a fantasy, but it kind of helps deal with a depression and feeling of loneliness that I have for the moment.

And writing? I already had been. I’d always been uncomfortable doing it and finally decided to stop doing so. And after some minorly hurt feelings, we decided on just not taking the bedroom scenes all the way through. But I’d recently been wondering, as even slightly getting into it and hinting at continuing down that road still makes me feel uncomfortable (as it worries that I still might accidentally get into it), whether it’s still too much, too far, still wrong, and still inadvertantly committing a mortal sin. I’m trying to get out of that.
 
Friend,
You are playing with fire. I have been down a similar road, and almost was destroyed. Starting as a teenager with innocent “role-playing”, progressing to more and more adventurous stuff, and so on, down the slippery slope. Because Satan is hanging around, seeing who he can destroy. I was delivered by a miraculous word from Christ, through a book, but that’s irrelevant. Much better to avoid the whole need for deliverance.

Why don’t you take a class and learn the language? Or at least improve it. Hang out with your Baptist friend – you have love of Christ in common with him. Make some new friends.

Read The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis. Especially the part with the little lizard whispering in the man’s ear.
Make good choices, because our choices take us closer to heaven or to hell.
God bless.
 
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