Question regarding lack of cannonical form

[laurmurray]

My significant other and I want to get married. He is a Christian and I am a practicing Catholic. He was previously married to a Catholic in a civil ceremony. No permission was given from the church, the marriage was never blessed in the Catholic Church. They are divorced.

We met with my pastor who explained to us the necessary forms, questionnaires, wittnesses in order to complete a “Lack of Cannonical Form” petition to the Tribunal. My significant other has all the paperwork and wittnesses. He completed his questionnaire with my pastor. The only things left are to notify his ex-wife, have her complete the questionnaire with my pastor, and get her baptismal certificate. We are quite sure she will not be cooperative. We are worried because she will scream and yell and throw a fit when he tells her we plan to marry. This will really upset his son. I wish there was some way to do this without notifying her.

If she is uncooperative and will not speak to my pastor, will this cause the Tribunal to not grant him permission to marry in the Church? Will it delay the progress greatly, or cause him to have to go through the whole annulment process? Is there any way to do this without notifying his ex-wife?

I am so worried about her reaction. She will likely not allow him to see his son for weeks, scream and yell, call both of us and leave harrassing messages. Worst of all she will tell his son terrible things about his father and me. That his father is abandoning him, etc. My significant other constantly reaffirms his love and commitment to his son. He supports financially, would never miss a visit, a weekend, a game. He is a great dad, but his son still gets upset when the mother screams and his son still worries that his dad will abandon him. He has never done anything to demonstrate that, it comes from the mother’s suggestion when she screams and yells. Any advice would be much appreciated.

~Laura

 

[Corki]

You need to speak to the pastor again about this.

The “lack of form” petition is built upon the facts of a) you intended’s wife being Catholic and b) the marriage not being conducted according to the Church’s rules.

In order to prove “A” you usually need a copy of her Baptismal certificate. But there might be a way to obtain this without your intended having direct contact with her. While you may be able to work around her lack of coorperation, I don’t think it can be done without notifying her at all.

 

[puzzleannie]

talk to the pastor again and to the person in your area, parish or deanery who is the liaison with the tribunal. There may be other ways to get tine information, but the man definitely needs to explain the situation so somebody does not approach her the wrong way. Your pastor can call and get her baptismal record, which will not show any church marriage, for instance. it’s not always easy but there are ways. If she is threatening in ways that violate the custody and visitation settlement his lawyer may have to get involved.

 

[Leticia]

THIS IS WHAT HE NEEDS TO PROVIDE:
Her name
Parish of her Catholic baptism:
Street Address:
City/State/Zip Code:
Date of Baptism:
(Tell the parish priest that a copy of her baptismal record is needed for a complete lack of canonical form to be sent to the priest helping you)

a. A recently dated (within 6 months) copy of the Catholic’s baptismal certificate;
b. A copy of the civil marriage license;
c. A copy of the final judgment divorce decree or civil annulment.

That is all that is needed

 

[Phemie]

THIS IS WHAT HE NEEDS TO PROVIDE:
Her name
Parish of her Catholic baptism:
Street Address:
City/State/Zip Code:
Date of Baptism:
(Tell the parish priest that a copy of her baptismal record is needed for a complete lack of canonical form to be sent to the priest helping you)

a. A recently dated (within 6 months) copy of the Catholic’s baptismal certificate;
b. A copy of the civil marriage license;
c. A copy of the final judgment divorce decree or civil annulment.

That is all that is needed

It might be better to have the priest who’s helping him now call the priest in his ex’s parish of baptism. If a priest called and requested a certificate we’d never ask why and we’d certainly never contact the person. So she might never have to know. It’s not like a full-fledged petition for a decree of nullity.