Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter Tazgurl21
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

Tazgurl21

Guest
Can a student that is studying to become a catholic priest have a girlfriend? Or will that ruin he’s chances of becoming one?
 
As a friend of more than a few young men now in the novitiate, they are allowed to date while dicerning.
 
Taz Girl,

I don’t think Father Serpa would mind giving you his opinion if you submit it to the “Ask an Apologist” forum; he’s been to a seminary.🙂
 
Cool thanks for answering. Cuz i wasn’t ssure if they can or not. But i will be sure to go to the other forum to see what Father serpa says.
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
Can a student that is studying to become a catholic priest have a girlfriend? Or will that ruin he’s chances of becoming one?
Click to expand...
Most priests I know involoved with seminarians urge caution in these relationships. Of course the students must be able to relate to women, so there is nothing particularly wrong with having friends who are “girls”. But girlfriend, as in sweetheart, that is definately a cause for concern, according to those I know. Priests in training are being formed towards a life of celibacy, and tht is a factor never ignored.

Blessings,

Gerry
 
I for one wouldn’t want to be the girlfriend. Other girls I could compete against… but God, well that’s WAY over my head. (no pun intended!) 😉
 
so will it be ok to hangout with the priest in training as friends?
 
two answers have been given, and both are true.

one - it’s ok for priests in training to have girlfriends. one bit of wisdom i’ve picked up while preparing to enter the jesuits is ‘don’t be a jesuit til you’re a jesuit.’

on the other hand, sexual purity is a must for all catholics, and as this area can be difficult for priests (abstinance isn’t easy), it’s imperative that priests in formation abstain from physical relationships before entering.

so - a good answer is probably: dating is ok for to-be-priests, but having a ‘girlfriend’ can be tricky, and perhaps not wise. it does, of course, raise the obvious question: what is the purpose of the relationship? if you’re ‘just friends’, then there’s no reason to be ‘exclusive’. if you’re interested in MORE than friendship (i.e. marriage), then it raises questions about the priesthood.

does that make sense?
 
CHRISTOS VOSKRES!

It’s fine if you’re in an Eastern Catholic seminary. AMOF, that’s how my friend Fr.Bohdan meet his wife. She is a doctor and he was working at a clinic where she worked with children from Chernobol. They met and one thing led to another. They were married in Sept of 2004 and he was ordained to the Holy Priesthood on Sept 16, 2004.
 
Wow these are some interesting answers thanks y’all. I guess i’ll give it a try. But I am in texas. See what happens, cuz I have a crush on this one student that is going to become a priest like in a year or so.
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
Wow these are some interesting answers thanks y’all. I guess i’ll give it a try. But I am in texas. See what happens, cuz I have a crush on this one student that is going to become a priest like in a year or so.
Click to expand...
Most seminaries don’t explicitly prohibit seminarians from dating, but all decent seminaries will discourage it very strongly (leaving aside the issue of Eastern Catholic seminaries, since I assume that isn’t the case at hand).

No reasonable bishop will ordain a man knowning that he has a girlfriend. Dating and the priesthood are completely incompatible.

I’d suggest that you ask yourself about what you hope to accomplish. Do you want to persuade this man not to become a priest (i.e. do you want to be a “chalice chipper”)? Do you just want to have fun for a year or so and then watch him get ordained and leave you?

I know people who have left semanaries for girlfriends, and I don’t know of a case where it has ever worked out. In one case, the man ended up going back to the seminary. In another, they eventually married, but got divorced soon after, and his life is now a huge mess. In another case, the man is now a divorced alcoholic. One never left the seminary, but “date” a girl for a period. Her heart is now broken while he’s studying in a far-off seminary.
 
hmmm you have a good point. I mean i don’t want to ruin his chances of becoming a priest I do respect that he does want to become a priest and all. I think i’ll just stay friends with him don’t know. But it is ok just to hangout as friends though right?
 
40.png
jeffreedy789:
two answers have been given, and both are true.

one - it’s ok for priests in training to have girlfriends. one bit of wisdom i’ve picked up while preparing to enter the jesuits is ‘don’t be a jesuit til you’re a jesuit.’

on the other hand, sexual purity is a must for all catholics, and as this area can be difficult for priests (abstinance isn’t easy), it’s imperative that priests in formation abstain from physical relationships before entering.

so - a good answer is probably: dating is ok for to-be-priests, but having a ‘girlfriend’ can be tricky, and perhaps not wise. it does, of course, raise the obvious question: what is the purpose of the relationship? if you’re ‘just friends’, then there’s no reason to be ‘exclusive’. if you’re interested in MORE than friendship (i.e. marriage), then it raises questions about the priesthood.

does that make sense?
Click to expand...
so you are saying that student studying to become priest can date as long as they want before they become a priest? so it won’t effect their chances of becoming one? but they can’t have a decent girlfriend?
 
Well I did get get Father Serpa’s opinion. So don’t know still thinking about it. I know y’all said that a priest in training is allowed to date see what happens I think I’m just going to hangout with him as friends won’t hurt.
 
If he’s doing most of the chasing, then fine let him chase you.
If you’re doing most of the chasing, just leave the guy be; put his interests above your own and let him follow his calling. Also, sometimes it’s our human nature to be attracted to someone we see as unattainable and if it’s a crush you have, maybe that’s why. Only you know, but you should look beyond the tinglies.
 
thanks for the answers once again. I guess I’ll just leave it alone but I did talk to him today and he said it was ok just to hangout as friends on his free time. so everythings cool now. He did tell me that he is allowed to date but he is not taking that chance rght now cuz some people will think it the wrong way and just get him into some trouble with the bishop. So don’t want that to happen. I already told him that i’m not going to talk him out of becoming a priest cuz I strongly respect that of him.
 
can a man who is engaged to be married to one girl be free to date other girls?
 
Dating should be geared towards the goal of marriage. If he is going to be a priest, you will not marry him. So what do you want to accomplish? Why waste your time dating him when you could be meeting your future husband?
 
Is that question for me or the other person? Cuz i know i can’t marry him, Me and him just agreed on being friends and hangingout with eachother every now and then its not like its a every day thing.
 
40.png
Tazgurl21:
Is that question for me or the other person? Cuz i know i can’t marry him, Me and him just agreed on being friends and hangingout with eachother every now and then its not like its a every day thing.
Click to expand...
Good for you. To be honest I just read the first post:o .
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top