question

[katt33]

Firts, this site has been of so much help and helped bring me back to the church. I am grateful for that. Someone has expressed their interest in a serious relationship. He is Jewish, was married to a Muslim woman, and as far as I kow the marriage is being nullified by their respective religions, though I don’t know how other religions do this. He has indicated he would wish marriage to be in the cards. As a never married Catholic, who would wish to be married by a priest, I am not sure what the procedure would be if we did get to that point, what would be required. Please provide some insight. I have a feeling in my heart, as I care for this person very deeply as a friend and a human being, that the relationship, his being in his 40’s will move quickly. We have known each other through work for quite some time.

 

[Toni]

I think as long as his marriage is anulled and he agrees to raise the children Catholic then you are good to go. But stay strong in your faith and guide him slowly back home.

 

[1ke]

If you choose to marry an unbaptized person, you will have what is called a “disparity of cult”. This is obviously not what the Church prefers because of so many issues, hardships in the marriage, and always the possibility that the Catholic will stop practicing their faith.

You will need to discuss with a priest and complete paperwork. You must make promises to do all you can to raise the children Catholic, etc. You will both have to go through premarital classes, different in each parish but required.

Also, his prior marriage will have to be reviewed by the Catholic Church and he would have to be declared free to marry by the Catholic Church (regardless of what his own religion may say about the marriage). He is not baptized, therefore the marriage would have been what is called a “good and natural marriage” rather than a sacramental marriage. However, that does not mean he is currently free to marry.

It is really always best to discuss the particular situation with a knowledgeable priest, which I’d suggest you do sooner rather than later.

 

[katt33]

Thank You. This is very helpful. We are going to discuss many issues in the next two weeks, including stuff like this. Once things are settled and there is a firm decision to plan for the future a visit to the priest will take place. He can’t have kids, so that’s not an issue and since he never interfered with his first wife’s religion, he wont with mine and I will not interfere with his being Jewish as Christ was a Jew. I will not abandon my faith and hope he will be open to studying Catholicism, which from his personality he should be.

 

[BlestOne]

Katt…the big question I have is…Is he open to the Catholic Church? If so, Schedule a meeting with pastor and also sign up for RCIA in the fall…they will teach you everything you need about marrying in the church. Also remember that Catholics are the extention of Judism. Our very roots come from the Jewish tradition but we recognize Jesus as the Christ, the annointed one that came to lead us.

 

[katt33]

He is open to learning about other faiths and cultures. As I would not want someone to push me to change my belief system, I would never push Catholocism on anyone. I figure we can explore and study and when he says what the faith does for me, then I can guide him to become a Catholic. The advice is very helpful to me, so thank you.

 

[Jennifer123]

I married a non-baptised Protestant Christian (some Christian denominations don’t feel baptism is a saving sacrament) and we did eventually marry in the Church after getting a dispensation from the bishop.
It won’t be a “sacramental” marriage but it will be “legal” in the Church’s eyes. Do the things recommended by the other people here, talk to your priest, etc.
Having been through this before, if you are serious about your faith (I wasn’t necessarily when I was first married) do consider asking this person if he’d be willing to attend RCIA in order to learn more about the faith not for proselytizing but for the sake of understanding you better. Don’t forsake your faith for him, remember to pray for conversion, be the best witness you possibly can, and let God do His work in his heart.
Good luck and welcome back to the faith!!!

 

[bengal_fan]

i guess i’ll be the one to say it, and i don’t intend to be mean…

don’t marry a non-Christian. i would say even don’t marry a non-catholic. paul is pretty clear in his language in corinthians not to yoke yourself with an unbeliever. you will have problems. there, i said it, now go do what you want (just like most Christians and catholics do anyway with no regard of the great advice given us by the church and the apostles and their writings).

 

[carol_marie]

Do you know if his & his first wife’s marriage problems had anything to do with their religious differences? If so, I think that he will find similar problems that arise because you are Catholic. It is true… Jesus was a Jew - but like someone else pointed out… Christianity is totally different from the Jewish religion. Don’t think that because both your origins are in the Jewish faith, you’ll have much in common.

I would want to know before I married him if he was wanting to become Catholic. Otherwise, think about all the problems you’ll have if you have children. I think it’s wonderful that you want be a good witness to him but it’s such a gamble… and a lifelong commitment to someone is not something I’d want to gamble.

 

[becauseIsaidso]

bengal_fan:

i guess i’ll be the one to say it, and i don’t intend to be mean…

don’t marry a non-Christian. i would say even don’t marry a non-catholic. paul is pretty clear in his language in corinthians not to yoke yourself with an unbeliever. you will have problems. there, i said it, now go do what you want (just like most Christians and catholics do anyway with no regard of the great advice given us by the church and the apostles and their writings).

I agree. People should marry someone of similar life philosophy. And our spiritual beliefs are the foundation of our outlook in life. If your beloved does not share your faith, how will you ever agree on any of the major issues?