Questions of a friend, please help

[Jumaj]

Hello,
my friend and I were going to Confirmation. Today, he has told me, that he decided otherwise,
for several reasons:
He is from a torn-apart family, and he heard in a priest’s preach, that in such family, ones mother should take care of the child and provide all for the child, that simply, the preach didn’t mention that the father should do something. I think he misunderstood the preach, could you point me to some good CCC thesis or something to defend church here?

He believes, that the awesome feeling one gets when all his sins are absolved of is just like a placebo effect, and that he just needs to repent from his sins to be forgiven. He thinks that he does not need to confess his sins at all, that confessing will just bring him to his past sins, from which he repented, and will bring him only more pain.

He also believes, that most of the church is corrupted and priests shouldn’t have that much power and wealth, that killing an embryo in order to save millions of other humans is right, that only confirmed Christians who often go to Communion are right Christians and many other things, which are not right.

Could you give me some good Church quotes or general advice to help him?
Also, may I “preach” to Him only ideas that I know for sure the Church agrees with, or also the ideas my conscience tells me and I believe? (as I am scrupulous)

Please, help us, I really love him as a friend, and wish that he would enjoy God.

 

[robwar]

You sound like a very caring person. The best think you can do is encourage him to speak to your confirmation teacher or the priest about his feelings. He may feel they won’t listen but he might be surprised. There is not much you could do for him but pray for him which I am sure you already are doing. Sometimes, if someone is dealing with a lot in their life or family, it is not a good idea to try and push through a major sacrament such as confirmation. The religious ed director in my previous parish said that when there is family turmoil such as divorce etc, it would be better to delay doing a sacrament such as first communion or confirmation etc than push to do it with family turmoil or division. I tell you this to have some insight for his situation.

 

[trk1]

Be careful in how you present the material. Never ever let him think you might be being condescending or that you might know more than him, but here are some resources:

REGARDING RECONCILIATION

John Chapter 20-23: If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.

Acts Chapter 19-18: Many also of those who were now believers came, confessing and divulging their practices.

2 Corinthians Chapter 2-10: Any one whom you forgive, I also forgive. What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ

2 Corinthians Chapter 5-18: All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;

James Chapter 5-15: and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16: Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.

1 John Chapter 1-9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The Letter of Barnabas [70-90 AD] Epistle of Barnabas
“You shall judge righteously. You shall not make a schism, but you shall pacify those that contend by bringing them together. You shall confess your sins. You shall not go to prayer with an evil conscience. This is the way of light” (Letter of Barnabas 19 [A.D. 74]).

Ignatius of Antioch [50-117 AD] Epistle to the Philadelphians
“For as many as are of God and of Jesus Christ are also with the bishop. And as many as shall, in the exercise of penance, return into the unity of the Church, these, too, shall belong to God, that they may live according to Jesus Christ” (Letter to the Philadelphians 3 [A.D. 110]).
“For where there is division and wrath, God does not dwell. To all them that repent, the Lord grants forgiveness, if they turn in penitence to the unity of God, and to communion with the bishop”(ibid., 8).

There’s more than this, but I won’t drown you in quotes…

REGARDING ABORTION
Perhaps point out that Jesus was conceived out of Marriage and into poverty. I wouldn’t say that aborting him would have “saved millions”.

Early Church Fathers
The Letter of Barnabas [70-90 AD] Epistle of Barnabas
“The way of light, then, is as follows. If anyone desires to travel to the appointed place, he must be zealous in his works. The knowledge, therefore, which is given to us for the purpose of walking in this way, is the following. . . . Thou shalt not slay the child by procuring abortion; nor, again, shalt thou destroy it after it is born” (Letter of Barnabas 19 [A.D. 74]).
Didache, The [70-100 AD] The Didache
“The second commandment of the teaching: You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not seduce boys. You shall not commit fornication. You shall not steal. You shall not practice magic. You shall not use potions. You shall not procure [an] abortion, nor destroy a newborn child” (Didache 2:1–2 [A.D. 70]).
Apocalypse of Peter (c. 130)
“And near that place I saw another strait place . . . and there sat women. . . . And over against them many children who were born to them out of due time sat crying. And there came forth from them rays of fire and smote the women in the eyes. And these were the accursed who conceived and caused abortion” (The Apocalypse of Peter 25 [A.D. 137]).
Athenagoras [150-200 AD] A Plea for the Christians
"What man of sound mind, therefore, will affirm, while such is our character, that we are murderers?
Hippolytus [170-236 AD] Refutation of All Heresies (Book IX)
“Women who were reputed to be believers began to take drugs to render themselves sterile, and to bind themselves tightly so as to expel what was being conceived, since they would not, on account of relatives and excess wealth, want to have a child by a slave or by any insignificant person. See, then, into what great impiety that lawless one has proceeded, by teaching adultery and murder at the same time!” (Refutation of All Heresies [A.D. 228]).

 

[trk1]

Prayer is probably the best thing for him though. I think Robwar hit the nail on the head with that one.

 

[Jumaj]

Would fasting help also?
There is one event in Jan 26 to which I have been looking forward since september. Would missing it and sacrificing it to God for my friend provide him intense spiritual enlightement?

 

[GratefulFred]

Good answers above. Prayer always comes first. TRK1 gave excellent sources in the Bible. Thanks, TRK1. And talking one on one with a Priest is best because he represents authority and has training better than we do.

But still, talk with your friend and make these points:

1. If one believes that Jesus Christ is indeed the Living Son of God, and as the Son of God Christ cannot lie, then we accept what Christ said as being the absolute TRUTH even if we cannot fully understand it. It does us no good to try to live a lie.
2. We accept that either Heaven or hell awaits us for all eternity.
3. We accept that if we die with unforgiven mortal sin on our soul, we condemn ourselves to hell. We therefore are most grateful for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Repentence is needed, but it is proper forgiveness that saves us.
4. We accept that when we receive the Holy Eucharist worthily, we are indeed receiving the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ. Unless you eat My Body and drink My Blood you shall not have life within you.

These four things are most essential reasons for wanting (needing) to be a Catholic. Other things are imoprtant too, but come nowhere near these four.

Now the Church is made up of imperfect humans. The priest who discussed the role of parents may have misspoken. Your friend may have misheard or taken the comments out of context. None of this can detract from the four essentials listed above. And I am sure, your friend would get clearer comments if he discussed the issue with another priest.

One miscommunication is no reason to walk away from Christ.