Questions on returning to the church

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Jatin

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I am 17 years old and was baptized Catholic as a baby. I regularly attended mass with my family and received first communion in the 2nd grade. Shortly thereafter, my brother never understood the whole thing about praying to Mary so he asked a nun about it. Basically, the nun told him that you do not question the faith and wouldn’t give him an answer. My mother was very upset at this and decided that we weren’t going to go to church anymore. I personally don’t believe she would ever be satisfied in any church… We started going to a non-denominational service on Sundays but were never officially members of the church. Recently, I have become very good friends with many Catholics my age, and even started dating one. I have gone to mass with her a few times and don’t quite know if I should dip my fingers in the holy water, do the sign of the cross, kneel at the end of the pew, and the rest of the gestures or not. I do know that I shouldn’t receive communion (even though I was baptized). I am wanting to possibly return to the Catholic church, however, I know that my mother has no intentions to do so (not sure how my dad thinks) but am rather intimidated. All my friends (and girlfriend) are getting confirmed this Saturday and I feel out of place since technically I am still Catholic. I just don’t know what to do so if you all could help that would be great. Sorry for such a long post, but there is a lot of information.

Also, I don’t know if I should or not, but I was thinking about getting my girlfriend a gift for confirmation, but don’t know anything to get her.

Thanks!
 
Welcome! You’re are responding to the grace of God which is leading you to His only, true Church. History proves it. Do not ever doubt it. It does matter which church one belongs to.

As far as what to do at Mass, bless yourself with the Holy Water, genuflect, kneel…In other words, do all the things that you know are Catholic, except receive Holy Communion. This is where you must see a priest, and I can tell you with complete and honest conviction that you will never ever regret it. This Sacrament of Confession was instituted for people like you and me who may have left the Church for a period of time, and then feel called back to Our Mother, The Church. Your Confession will be a time when Heaven will rejoice that you were “once lost and now have been found”. It’s the way that God works, always seeking out the fallen away child…Read *The Prodigal Son *if you doubt me. Please keep us posted, and don’t let any fear or diversion keep you away from God’s mercy which is made present in the Roman Catholic Church.

As for the Confirmation present, man, you’re on your own there! Maybe her mother can give you some idea of what she would like.
If you think she might like a book on the Catholic Faith, I will gladly send you a nice copy of THIS IS THE FAITH by FRANCIS CANON RIPLEY. Just send a private email. Pax Christi!
 
A very nice Rosary or small Crucifix on a neck chain, or if she has no Bible a good Catholic Bible(one with all 72 books) makes a nice gift that can last a lifetime.

As for your own situation, having made a First Holy Communion and received the sacraments of Baptism all you have to do to be reinstated is to go to confession. Make a private appointment with a priest and tell him your story, he will help you through it. For Confirmation, you will have to go through a period of instruction and spiritual formation, maybe in RCIA depending on how your parish/diocese handles such matters. As for Mass you can do everything everyone else does except receive communion. Once you have confessed even that is available to you. God bless you and I sincerely hope you go for it.🙂 🙂
 
Thanks for all the help. So really all I need to do is go to confession for the time being? I still feel out of place because I should be getting confirmed with everybody else. Also, can somebody please enlighten me as to what Confirmation actually is and what one needs to do to receive it?
 
Confirmation is, in the words of my priest, the second part of Baptism, it is basically the sealing of the Baptism in a way. Depending on the parish, you will more than likely have to take some sort of class/classes. In my parish it is only 4 classes for adults.

And don’t feel left out about Confirmation, I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I’ll be making my Confirmation next week at 20 years old. Take it one step at a time.
 
Is it possible to have a private meeting with a priest (not confession)? I have some questions and would like to talk to him about some of them before I make a major decision.
 
Jatin said:
I am 17 years old and was baptized Catholic as a baby. I regularly attended mass with my family and received first communion in the 2nd grade. Shortly thereafter, my brother never understood the whole thing about praying to Mary so he asked a nun about it. Basically, the nun told him that you do not question the faith and wouldn’t give him an answer. My mother was very upset at this and decided that we weren’t going to go to church anymore. I personally don’t believe she would ever be satisfied in any church… We started going to a non-denominational service on Sundays but were never officially members of the church. Recently, I have become very good friends with many Catholics my age, and even started dating one. I have gone to mass with her a few times and don’t quite know if I should dip my fingers in the holy water, do the sign of the cross, kneel at the end of the pew, and the rest of the gestures or not. I do know that I shouldn’t receive communion (even though I was baptized). I am wanting to possibly return to the Catholic church, however, I know that my mother has no intentions to do so (not sure how my dad thinks) but am rather intimidated. All my friends (and girlfriend) are getting confirmed this Saturday and I feel out of place since technically I am still Catholic. I just don’t know what to do so if you all could help that would be great. Sorry for such a long post, but there is a lot of information.

Also, I don’t know if I should or not, but I was thinking about getting my girlfriend a gift for confirmation, but don’t know anything to get her.

Thanks!
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Hi there Jatin,

I truely believe that Jesus Christ, is tugging at your heart to come back to the Catholic Faith. That is why You have many Catholic friends that Jesus has put in your life, its the reason why you are here in this Catholic Forum and not by chance. And by fully returning to the Catholic Faith your mother in time will return as well. Lord Willing. Amen

Ufamtobie
 
Jatin said:
Is it possible to have a private meeting with a priest (not confession)? I have some questions and would like to talk to him about some of them before I make a major decision.
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Sure. The vast majority of priests - especially good ones - would be happy to do this. I know that a lot of people feel intimidated about making such an appointment - I sure did the first time I ever wanted to do it. But I now work in a parish and I see how it is from the inside, and I answer the phones to talk to the people who want to make those appointments. There’s really nothing to fear. All you need to do is call the place up and tell whoever answers the phone what you want to do.

As far as your mother is concerend, don’t worry too much about her right now. My family really is very opposed to my having become Catholic. God will make sure that you have what you need as you go through any process of returning… He won’t let you go through a terrible family situation without the all of the Graces and whatnot to do so. Heck, you might not have any problems. Just pray and do what you need to do. God will lead you once you start the process.

Peace and God bless
 
So today I finally had a meeting with a priest. Basically, it is a very simple process and all I really need to do is go to confession. I had some questions I asked and he explained them in great depth (even more that I thought I would get). He took me through what happens during a mass and what not. Also, regarding confirmation, I have two options here: I can join the confirmation class for next year (and I would just be a year older), or I can meet with a priest once a month and do it individually. I think I might prefer to do it individually, that way I can choose when to start the process. Any suggestions? Also, I am having a really hard time coming up with a list for confession… I know they have heard almost everything, but I try to not remember bad things that I have done in my life and can’t come up with much…
 
Jatin said:
So today I finally had a meeting with a priest. Basically, it is a very simple process and all I really need to do is go to confession. I had some questions I asked and he explained them in great depth (even more that I thought I would get). He took me through what happens during a mass and what not. Also, regarding confirmation, I have two options here: I can join the confirmation class for next year (and I would just be a year older), or I can meet with a priest once a month and do it individually. I think I might prefer to do it individually, that way I can choose when to start the process. Any suggestions? Also, I am having a really hard time coming up with a list for confession… I know they have heard almost everything, but I try to not remember bad things that I have done in my life and can’t come up with much…
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At age 17, your list will typically include things like being disrespectful to parents from time to time, mouthing off to teachers, gossiping, perhaps you stayed silent one time when someone was being bullied, maybe you’ve used swear words sometimes, the odd lie here or there, and that sort of thing.

I doubt you have developed any bad habits, yet - frequent use of the Confessional will actually help you to avoid developing any bad habits in the future, too, and your future self will certainly thank you for that. 🙂

Don’t worry - no matter what you have to confess, the priest won’t be shocked. He’s heard it all before, and knows better than you can imagine what seemingly-normal people are capable of doing. He’s there to bring you God’s forgiveness; not to yell at you or make you feel bad.
 
Jatin said:
So today I finally had a meeting with a priest. Basically, it is a very simple process and all I really need to do is go to confession. I had some questions I asked and he explained them in great depth (even more that I thought I would get). He took me through what happens during a mass and what not. Also, regarding confirmation, I have two options here: I can join the confirmation class for next year (and I would just be a year older), or I can meet with a priest once a month and do it individually. I think I might prefer to do it individually, that way I can choose when to start the process. Any suggestions? Also, I am having a really hard time coming up with a list for confession… I know they have heard almost everything, but I try to not remember bad things that I have done in my life and can’t come up with much…
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Confess everything you know to be mortal sins. And do so with a contrite heart. Conceal nothing.

Confession is a Sacrament. It’s purpose is the absolution of sin. It’s not to make us feel better.

Sorry to be so blunt, but “going through the motions” doesn’t cut it. 😉
 
Welcome back to the Church, Jatin. I’ll bet that you have grandparents, either here or in heaven, who are very proud of you now. As to going to confession, there are many prayerbooks with examinations of conscience in them. You can find them in any Catholic book store. When you get in the confessional just tell the priest your situation, and he will help you. Nothing makes a priest happier than to assist someone who has not gone to confession in a long time. I am glad that you have good Catholic friends to help you live a good Catholic life. When your parents see the change that God’s grace will make in you, they may interested in returning to the Church, too.
 
For Confession just tell the priest you haven’t been to confession is a long time. Your a youngster (hey me too) he will help you. When I did my confession to come back into the church my priest basically helped me go over a very thorough examination of consience.

Welcome Home!
 
Jatin said:
So today I finally had a meeting with a priest. Basically, it is a very simple process and all I really need to do is go to confession. I had some questions I asked and he explained them in great depth (even more that I thought I would get). He took me through what happens during a mass and what not. Also, regarding confirmation, I have two options here: I can join the confirmation class for next year (and I would just be a year older), or I can meet with a priest once a month and do it individually. I think I might prefer to do it individually, that way I can choose when to start the process. Any suggestions? Also, I am having a really hard time coming up with a list for confession… I know they have heard almost everything, but I try to not remember bad things that I have done in my life and can’t come up with much…
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Jatin, congratulations on your trip back “home”!

As for confession, your parish may have a publication on the subject, you might start with the parish secretary. Alternatively, there are online sources (including CAF) that give examples. That will help you.

And trust me, once you have finished confession, you will realize that any worries you had about it beforehand were exaggerated!
 
So I had a private meeting with Father this afternoon for a confession. I was quite nervous but he helped me through the process. He wanted to focus more on repeated sins and habits rather than one sin I committed a long time ago once but if I remembered any, to mention them. It was such a great feeling once he said I was absolved of ALL sins. Also, tonight at the five o’clock mass was the first time I received Communion in over 7 years. I felt so great afterwards, no words can even describe it!

I also have the option of either joining next years confirmation class, or meeting once a month or such with Father and doing it that way. I’m not quite sure which I’ll end up doing, but I’m leaning towards the one-on-one since it would be more individual and tailored to me.

Thank you all for you help in this process. I am grateful to have this place and supportive friends and family during the whole thing.
 
Jatin said:
So I had a private meeting with Father this afternoon for a confession. I was quite nervous but he helped me through the process. He wanted to focus more on repeated sins and habits rather than one sin I committed a long time ago once but if I remembered any, to mention them. It was such a great feeling once he said I was absolved of ALL sins. Also, tonight at the five o’clock mass was the first time I received Communion in over 7 years. I felt so great afterwards, no words can even describe it!

I also have the option of either joining next years confirmation class, or meeting once a month or such with Father and doing it that way. I’m not quite sure which I’ll end up doing, but I’m leaning towards the one-on-one since it would be more individual and tailored to me.

Thank you all for you help in this process. I am grateful to have this place and supportive friends and family during the whole thing.
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Congratulations, and welcome home!! :hug1:

I hope you took yourself out for cake and soda pop to celebrate - I know the Angels in Heaven are also throwing a party for you today. 🙂 :dancing: :clapping: :extrahappy: :bounce: :love:
 
Where to start?
  1. Welcome home to the Catholic Church. I will keep you in my daily prayers for your journey in faith.
  2. Always be proud of your faith. The open dialogue you had with those who posted with you, I found very moving and definitely going in the right direction. Stay on this path.
  3. The Eucharist, Holy Communion, is the source and summit of everything that is Catholic. We as Catholics are a Eucharistic people. Go to mass and receive Holy Communion as often as you can.
  4. Avail yourself of the sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) frequently. Certainly not less than once a month. It too gives sacramental graces which will help you in your spiritual life.
  5. Pray daily. Prayer will also help you in your spiritual growth. Start by praising God and thanking him for all he has done for you. Do this first. Then pray for others and then finally for yourself.
  6. Again, welcome home to the Catholic Church.
  7. For Confirmation, you have the two options before you as you suggested. You can do it one on one with the priest as you mentioned. This has advantages. Or you can do it with a class. This also has advantages wherein you will meet others your age. My experience with Confirmation Classes is that those in that class feed off of one another in their journey of faith. There are advantages both ways. Pray for discernment and then choose.
You will remain in my prayers and may our Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, shower you abundantly with his choicest of blessings, now and throughout your life.
Prayers & Blessings
Deacon Ed B
 
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