Questions re. RCIA / Need Advice re. RCIA / Probable Opposition from Family

[European2010]

Hi,

I’ve been a de facto Catholic for some years now.
Recently, I have been going to Eucharistic Adoration on Fridays and I’m hoping this week to start going to 1pm Mass each day.

After having actually been in a few Catholic Churches recently for services, I feel more and more compelled to actually convert formally.

If I am correct, RCIA is from September - Easter.
The thing is, my parents are very strong Protestants and so is the rest of my family. Although no-one is in any way anti-Catholic vis-a-vis Catholics, they basically do not believe the Catholic Church is very good and in accordance with what Christ wills.

I can go to Mass each day during the week and Adoration on Fridays because there is a Church near where I work and my parents therefore do not know.

So, I’m quite fearful what to expect if I started RCIA and told them I was converting? Does anyone have any advice / experience of family opposition?

The Church I have been going to is about 20 miles from home. It’s convenient because it is near work. They run an RCIA Class. Could I go to this RCIA class or do I need to go to an RCIA class in the Church nearest where I live?

I have heard something about you needing a sponsor for RCIA? I don’t actually known any Catholics!

 

[PJM]

=European2010;6926817]Hi,

I’ve been a de facto Catholic for some years now.
Recently, I have been going to Eucharistic Adoration on Fridays and I’m hoping this week to start going to 1pm Mass each day.

After having actually been in a few Catholic Churches recently for services, I feel more and more compelled to actually convert formally.

If I am correct, RCIA is from September - Easter.
The thing is, my parents are very strong Protestants and so is the rest of my family. Although no-one is in any way anti-Catholic vis-a-vis Catholics, they basically do not believe the Catholic Church is very good and in accordance with what Christ wills.

I can go to Mass each day during the week and Adoration on Fridays because there is a Church near where I work and my parents therefore do not know.

So, I’m quite fearful what to expect if I started RCIA and told them I was converting? Does anyone have any advice / experience of family opposition?

The Church I have been going to is about 20 miles from home. It’s convenient because it is near work. They run an RCIA Class. Could I go to this RCIA class or do I need to go to an RCIA class in the Church nearest where I live?

I have heard something about you needing a sponsor for RCIA? I don’t actually known any Catholics!

The sad truth is that in order for Protestants to exist they MUST defame the CC. Or there would be no need for them to exist.

It’s NOT what others know about the CC that tirns them off; it’s what they have been taught to believe.

Here is a very brief BIBLICAL Proof sheet: 2Tim.3 Verses 16 to 17

"All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. "

Began with Mt. 16:19 Jesus our Perfect God give “the keys to the GATES OF HEAVEN” [all of them] to Saint Peter to whom Jesus is adressing in a SNGULAR fashion
in this verse.

Then mention that “One Church / One Faith” is referenced over 100 times in the NT. [Eph. 4:4-7] is a good example. GOD NEVER ENTENDED MORE THAN ONE CHURCH /ONE SET OF BELIEFS.

The Power and authority to freely govern and rule this ONE Church is given in Mt. 16:19 and again in Mt. 18-18. Loose and bind refer to the power of church governance.

As to the Eucharist being Real; FIVE NT Authors give testimonly to this truth:
Mt. 26:26-28, Mk. 14:22-24, Lk. 22:19-23, Paul 1 Cr. 11:23-29 and John Ch. 6: especially
vs. 47-56.

Ten point out that God Himself both in the person of th Holy Spirit and of Jesus Chrsit Himself remain in this ONE CHURCH to confirm its true teaching and prohit Her to Eoror on all matters of Faith and or Morals.

John 14: 16 And I [Jesus] will pray the Father, and he will give you another Counselor, The Holy Spirit] to be with you for ever,even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him; you know him, for he dwells with you, and will be in you."

And here Jesus Gives Himself as proof of the TRUTH of His One Church:

John 17 vrs. 14-19
I [Jesus] have given them thy word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not pray that thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that thou shouldst keep them from the evil one.They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth; thy word is truth. As thou didst send me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. 19 And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be consecrated in truth.

We can know that Christ is speaking to and about His Apostles as there were NO OTHER Christian Churches in existence.

When the OT books were colleected
When the Entire NT was written By Catholics
When the Canon of the Bible was set and approved BY GOD…

There was ONLY THEE Catholic Church!

Keep going to Adoration and Mass and Let God handle the other details.

Love and prayers,
Pat

 

[Pax]

European2010 in Christ,

Do not fear…the Lord is with you. Just make sure that you know both the Catholic faith and your family’s non-Catholic Christianity well enough to answer their questions. The questions that you cannot answer can be answered later with a little research or even help from people on this forum.

Make sure that your family sees the change in you that the Lord is causing by bringing you into closer communion with Him. Your love of God and neighbor will go far in showing them that you are on the right path.

I will pray for you and your family.

 

[Chopstick]

Your family sounds similar to mine. I’m in RCIA now, and my mother especially doesn’t like it one bit. She believes a lot of the common misconceptions people have about the Church, and isn’t willing to consider that those things aren’t true. So I get a bit of teasing and discouragement from her, and just try to avoid the topic myself. So far we haven’t had any fights over my going, but I haven’t formally announced that I’m for sure becoming Catholic yet, either.

As for you finding a class, you can join an RCIA group at whatever parish you like. The one I attend is by my college, because they have RCIA all year, instead of starting only in September like the one close to my house.

If you don’t have anyone in mind to be your sponsor, they’ll assign you someone in the parish. I got lucky; my sponsor is really nice!

 

[fdesales]

Hi,

I’ve been a de facto Catholic for some years now.
Recently, I have been going to Eucharistic Adoration on Fridays and I’m hoping this week to start going to 1pm Mass each day.

After having actually been in a few Catholic Churches recently for services, I feel more and more compelled to actually convert formally.

If I am correct, RCIA is from September - Easter.
The thing is, my parents are very strong Protestants and so is the rest of my family. Although no-one is in any way anti-Catholic vis-a-vis Catholics, they basically do not believe the Catholic Church is very good and in accordance with what Christ wills.

I can go to Mass each day during the week and Adoration on Fridays because there is a Church near where I work and my parents therefore do not know.

So, I’m quite fearful what to expect if I started RCIA and told them I was converting? Does anyone have any advice / experience of family opposition?

The Church I have been going to is about 20 miles from home. It’s convenient because it is near work. They run an RCIA Class. Could I go to this RCIA class or do I need to go to an RCIA class in the Church nearest where I live?

I have heard something about you needing a sponsor for RCIA? I don’t actually known any Catholics!

A wonderful story of someone seeking out God, no matter where they find Him.

Every year, I see one or two persons in our RCIA formation that undergo the same hardships you are speaking of. Some of us “cradle Catholics” take our positions for granted, not realizing that there is a stigma of becoming Catholic if a person’s family was strongly Protestant. There are going to be issues of mis-understanding. They will feel hurt, since you are “indirectly attacking” their beliefs - since Catholic and Protestant beliefs do not match everywhere. I see this as a tremendous struggle for some, and it is heartening to see people make such sacrifices for the sake of doing what they feel they must. It’s not easy to put aside family for one’s personal convictions newly formed.

The best advice, thus, is to strengthen your convictions that you are doing God’s will. Pray and continue to read. For when we are certain of that, we are at peace. In time, your family will come around. They will see you as a faithful Christian who loves God, and those in Christ who are Protestants will come to admit that and respect it, even if they will continue to disagree with a few teachings. They have to come to realize you are doing God’s will and you feel called by God to continue this process - the evidence will be your actions. Your family knows you best, and they can tell if this is something fake or temporary.

You can go to RCIA anywhere you want.

You will need a sponsor, but if you do not know a faithful Catholic who can act as a sponsor, they will provide one for you. Take advantage of this person to help you out in your walk. There is more to being Catholic than book knowledge.

Hope this helps.

Regards

Fdesales

 

[European2010]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. God bless.

 

[magdelaine1173]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. God bless.

Hopefully by learning about the Catholic faith you will be able to explain it to your family better and some of them may convert. I will be praying for stability of emotions and peace in your household. I know this is hard for you right now. I will pray for your Mother also.

PRAYER FOR OUR FAMILY # 3
Heavenly Father,
you have given us the model of life
in the Holy Family of Nazareth.
Help us, O Loving Father,
to make our family another Nazareth
where love, peace and joy reign.
May it be deeply contemplative,
intensely eucharistic,
revived with joy.

Help us to stay together in joy
and sorrow in family prayer.
Teach us to see Jesus in the members of our families,
especially in their distressing disguise.
May the eucharistic heart of Jesus
make our hearts humble like his
and help us to carry out our family duties
in a holy way.
May we love one another
as God loves each one of us,
more and more each day,
and forgive each other’s faults
as you forgive our sins.
Help us, O Loving Father,
to take whatever you give
and give whatever you take with a big smile.

Immaculate Heart of Mary,
cause of our joy, pray for us.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

Holy Guardian Angels,
be always with us,
guide and protect us.

Amen.

(Author: Mother Teresa of Calcutta)

 

[Bekamom]

I came from a similiar story. but I want you to know that you know what is right for you in your heart and god will give you whatever strength you need. I know he did for me even when I doubted him he was still there and always will be.

 

[Scott_D_1]

I started my RCIA journey in July of last year - Started with meetings in the RICA directors office, then Inquiry class (you get to ask anything you want about the faith and learn from others)

Then the Classes started in September and a few weeks in if they see you are still around they give you a sponser or (God Parent) You will make some good friends in these classes and learn a lot and grow in faith…

and it may look abd on “paper” with the calendar for Holy Week around Easter - but its a real great time and I encourage you to do everything they suggest.

and trust me you are going to miss the Classes once they are over a few weeks after Easter!

 

[Seminarian_Matt]

So, I’m quite fearful what to expect if I started RCIA and told them I was converting? Does anyone have any advice / experience of family opposition?

The Church I have been going to is about 20 miles from home. It’s convenient because it is near work. They run an RCIA Class. Could I go to this RCIA class or do I need to go to an RCIA class in the Church nearest where I live?

Hello!

I would personally recommend starting an online RCIA program to help you start to understand the Faith. After you complete it, I would then personally seek out a parish since you will understand the Catholic Faith in reasonable detail by then. It would also give your family time to accept your desire to convert.

Through an online RCIA program you will receive:

* Readings with commentary and explanations from authoritative Catholic sources.
* Related catechism references from the the Baltimore Catechism, the Catechism of Saint Pius X, and the Catechism of the Council of Trent, in addition to more recent catechisms, such as the new Catechism of the Catholic Church Second Edition, and the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
* Information on the lives and spirituality of various saints.
* Exposure to and practice of prayer - including memorization exercises of necessary Catholic prayers in Latin and English including
      o The most necessary prayers for salvation: The Our Father, The Hail Mary, The Apostle's Creed, and The Act of Contrition.
      o The rosary
      o The Divine Office
      o Mass responses, for both the Traditional Latin Mass and the Novus Ordo Missae.
      o Various litanies, novenas, and devotions.
* Integration: The Readings and the Catechism references are synthesized into a form that consistently makes the link between the two.
* Links to various legitimate Catholic websites that reinforce the lesson and provide additional readings to help your children explore the Faith.
* Activities that reinforce the lesson:
      o Fun and engaging projects and assignments
      o Catholic web surfing
      o Hands on activities
      o Living out the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy
      o Participation in the parish life and community.

We handle the planning, the material gathering, and much of the teaching. You have no more need for expensive book purchases and the evaluating and grading. All you have to do is login and you’re ready to go! You will receive a complete, concise, comprehensive and thorough catechetical lesson relevant to your learning level. And, it’s all automatically recorded within the membership, assuring you of total accountability. Best of all, you have complete control over what you are learning. This daily interactive program is precisely what you need to enhance the total catechism experience.

The Adult Package is our RCIA Program. It is now on sale for almost $200 in savings: catechismclass.com/lessons

 

[Scott_D_1]

I would say while the “online RCIA” class may be a good idea for some, I think for someone converting from a non-christian faith or a defacto and lojng been away from the church that they still take the classes at their local parish. It is more group and you can learn from each other and learn who is around you in the church and get to know a lot of people in your new community.

But thats my 2 cents.

 

[Seminarian_Matt]

I would say while the “online RCIA” class may be a good idea for some, I think for someone converting from a non-christian faith or a defacto and lojng been away from the church that they still take the classes at their local parish. It is more group and you can learn from each other and learn who is around you in the church and get to know a lot of people in your new community.

But thats my 2 cents.

Some of my customers do both. Because many RCIA programs are watered-down because not everyone is at the same spiritual level, it can be hard for everyone to learn the Faith. If there are atheists in the class and a Lutheran, you can see that the class is going to focus a lot on the foundation of God’s existence while the Lutheran already knows that.

For that reason, I recommend that many RCIA goers should supplement their parish education with online education as well to ensure that they are covering the full breadth of the Catholic Faith and its teachings.

 

[Bekamom]

I wouldbe interested in doing an online class as well as a parish rcia class. I think thats a great idea. you get the best of both worlds.

 

[Scott_D_1]

I have to disagree on the “Water down” part - that is why the Inquiry period of the RCIA process is Crucial. that is where you learn about God’s existance, and ask questions and “get up to speed” for lack of a better term. The ones in the Inquiry class should not let you move forth till you and they feel you ar ready to join the normal RCIA class.

My RCIA class had a mix of a lot of different paths - from those lost catholics coming back, those going to be confirmed, and those going for the “tri-fecta” of Baptism, Confirmed and First Echurist. Some came from the LDS, other faiths and the “new age” groups as well. - it focused on what the catholic church beleive and didnt push “God Exits” as that was felt among all since everyone had been either in Iquiry if not a “Lost Catholic” or spent a lot of time with the RCIA cordinator.

I know many had spent 2-3 years in RCIA before they felt they are ready…

I feel the “online / distance learning course” is only best for those homebound. The RCIA groups/class is a great time to bond with a community as that is what you are joining.

 

[Jez1519]

I had similar concerns to you, European2010, regarding my family’s reactions on this matter. Not that their was any real religious formation there in the fair place, but i certainly expected a large amount of disapproval. I must’ve bored my priest senseless, wittering on about how the right moment hadn’t appeared to explain my finding of the faith. He kept repeating that it would happen, kind of in God’s own good time.
I prayed on the matter greatly. Eventually, my mother became ill with cancer, which kind of really brought my elder brother and i a lot closer together after many issues in the past. We were driving somewhere and passed a church. He explained there were many nice churches in the area. Without thinking, i agreed and told him that the one we passed was similar to one i had been attending for some months. A catholic church?, he asked. Yes, i told him.
The he told me his wife, who i had never really got on with, was catholic (though they didn’t go to church). We conversed about it for a while and he raised no objection whatsoever. I felt greatly relieved. After that i informed my younger brother who, being gay, i expected a dreadful reaction from. Similarly, however, he had no problem, kind of joking that it wasn’t for him, though. I told another family member who seemed outraged at first but then she was fine. I related this to my priest yet still desired to discuss the matter with my mother (father had passed about eleven years ago). However, being ill with cancer and ultimately dying at the beginning of July, i never did have that conversation. My priest said to me, well, she knows now.
Every family is different. However, i firmly believe that what occurred in my case was God answering the prayer i asked him. God wants everyone to turn towards him in love and obedience. That much is certainly clear in your case, and i know in mine. This situation is never easy for converts to the catholic faith. I still have reservations about discussing this with work colleagues, for example, as there has always seemed in people’s general everyday chat a generally atheistic and/or anti catholic consensus where i work. However, Christ never promised that it would be easy. Most things worthwhile never are.
Sorry if i may have gone on a bit. I’m new here. But i’d certainly advise you to pray on this. Perhaps ask Our Lady to intercede for you on this issue-once you get used to asking her help (which as a new, almost catholic takes a little getting used to personally) you will find her a powerful ally. Pray for a resolution to the situation that you are in regarding what you perceive to be your family’s prejudices, my friend, and do not doubt that Our Lord will answer it because you know that He loves you and wants you. How He may resolve this matter for you is down to God’s will and in his own good time, and may occur in a way that you may never expect.
God bless you, brother.

 

[sojo]

European - I have been where you are now. The first thing to remember is that you may be building up fears over your family’s response that are disproportionate to the reality. I kept my plans to convert secret for months and months, needlessly worrying. Other than the odd smirk or teasing, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected.

Ultimately, it is your soul and your decision to make. Stay strong! If you are an adult, I don’t think you need to mention that you are attending RCIA if you are still in the exploratory stages. Once you decide you are going to convert for sure, then you can pick the right time to bring up the subject.

You don’t need to worry about having a sponsor - the parish will assign someone to you.

Some parishes may ask you to go to your “home” parish for RCIA. Perhaps they have limited resources for conducting RCIA classes. I was refused entry at my more convenient, near work parish and had to go to my least favorite neighborhood parish. If that happens, you can ask to speak with the pastor of your preferred parish and explain your personal situation. In any case, try not let a minor set-back like this affect your desire to attend RCIA!

Honestly, I was so torn up over little things like family opinions and which parish and not having a sponsor, too! Now after so many, many years (over 25, I think), it seems pretty trivial. I am as thrilled to be a Catholic as I was when I had my first communion.

God bless and enjoy the journey!!

 

[PJM]

=European2010;6926817]Hi,

I’ve been a de facto Catholic for some years now.
Recently, I have been going to Eucharistic Adoration on Fridays and I’m hoping this week to start going to 1pm Mass each day.

After having actually been in a few Catholic Churches recently for services, I feel more and more compelled to actually convert formally.

If I am correct, RCIA is from September - Easter.
The thing is, my parents are very strong Protestants and so is the rest of my family. Although no-one is in any way anti-Catholic vis-a-vis Catholics, they basically do not believe the Catholic Church is very good and in accordance with what Christ wills.

I can go to Mass each day during the week and Adoration on Fridays because there is a Church near where I work and my parents therefore do not know.

So, I’m quite fearful what to expect if I started RCIA and told them I was converting? Does anyone have any advice / experience of family opposition?

The Church I have been going to is about 20 miles from home. It’s convenient because it is near work. They run an RCIA Class. Could I go to this RCIA class or do I need to go to an RCIA class in the Church nearest where I live?

I have heard something about you needing a sponsor for RCIA? I don’t actually known any Catholics!

Talk to the priest near where you work and seek out his advice.

RCIA is a great idea, and an absolute necessity. But it’s just a “crash course” covering the basics and providing one with suficient information to enable them to decide if they really wish to join the CC?

Discuss this next suggestion with the priest before taking my recommendaton.

Learning how to address your parent concerns MIGHT be an excellent way to learn more bout the Catholic Faith.

If you were to “fess-up” and then post one question / concern at a time; there are many of us qualified to share what you need to know. How to defend our faith is not a secret, but is alo not well known.

Love and prayers,

Pat

 

[Charlotte1776]

I was afraid of a negative reaction from my family too, considering my mom is an ex-Catholic who has been telling me how awful the Church since I was a baby, my brother is a gay athiest, and my Dad is a Presbyterian who thinks anyone who isn’t a presbyterian or an athiest is not intelectual enough. They were also a upset that my then-boyfriend now husband was Catholic so I figured they would be similarly upset with me.
I didn’t formally tell them I was in RCIA until a few weeks before easter. They didn’t say much, though that doesn’t mean they were happy. It’s kind of hard to tell with them - they are very private people. Either way, there hasn’t been any conflict over it! Joining the Catholic Church was the best decision of my life (2nd was marrying my wonderful husband!) and I am sure you will be just as glad you went through the RCIA process.
A word of advice, though - not all RCIA programs are as great as mine was. You should consider asking the directors at local churches a few questions about their programs before you decide on one. Ask them things such as whether they think it’s important to believe exactly what the Church believes. If they answer “no” that is a big red flag and you might not learn the truth about the faith.

 

[wwilligan]

Dear European2010,

I have been a teacher in our parish’s RCIA program for the past four years. Based on my experience I offer you the following advice.

I have had many protestants go through RCIA and some of them had objections from family members. From our discussions I have learned that most protestants do not understand what the catholic church actually teaches and base their objections on mis-information.

I suggest that you read the books by Thomas Howard entitled, The Road to Rome and Evangetical Is Not Enough. Here is a link for an article by Howard on Catholic Spirituality that will help. Howard was an evangelical protestant who became a catholic. He is a gifted writer.

ignatiusinsight.com/features2007/thoward_cathspirit_mar07.asp

The catechism of the catholic church, available on-line, is an excellent source of what the catholic church teaches.

I suggest you tell your family that you plan to attend RCIA classes so that you can learn the details of what the catholic church teaches. You should tell them that you are doing this because it is Christ himself who is calling you. As part of the RCIA process I also suggest you tell your family aboud you visits to mass and other adoration so that you maintain a good trusting relationship with them.

Don’t worry about a sponsor as you RCIA coordinator will find one for you.

 

[PBP]

Hello
As a member of an RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) team, first remember it is a journey…a continual process of conversion. This is relevant to all of us on the journey. While typically the time frame you asked about is the most popular, there is no mandate to time constraints.The very early converts to the faith had a process which lasted years before they were in full communion, so you should not be pressured to make any commitments you arent ready for. You may have to tighten the reigns on your RCIA director if the person is more zealous for you than you are, and thats ok too. As you go through your process, you will come to understand the Catholic faith is entirely about a personal relationship with Jesus. The sacraments are all about being in communion with Jesus. This would be my advice on explaining it to your family.
Peace**