Questions Related to Planning an Eastern Catholic Wedding

[EqualinHim]

Hi. To explain things in a nutshell I am a protestant helping my Catholic friends plan their wedding. My friend suddenly announced that she would be getting married in a month. The bride is Roman Catholic and the groom is Byzantine. They are following canon law and having the wedding at the Byzantine church since it is the groom’s rite. Bride and groom have opted for a potluck reception and it’s going to be a morning wedding with a simple brunch reception in the fellowship hall.

I am mainly helping the bride with favors and the details of the reception but I have some questions related to the ceremony. Also, I have never been to an eastern church and unfamiliar with eastern weddings. However, I have been to an Armenian apostolic wedding. How similar are the two ceremonies? I know that they crown the couple in each tradition. If anyone could provide me with a general outline for the ceremony so that I and some of their other non-eastern catholic friends know what to expect, this would be extremely helpful. I estimate that at least 2/3rds of the attendees will be catholic and the remaining third will consist of the couple’s protestant and non-Christian friends.

The bride and groom need to buy a set of crowns (they are paying for their entire wedding) and have expressed a wish to donate the crowns to the church so that other couples could make use of them. I think that this is a wonderful idea and very charitable. My friend is a very charitable soul and the type to give you the clothes off of her back. The bride said that she would find this more meaningful than simply taking the crowns home. Does anyone know of a good website that sells crowns and wedding supplies catering to the Byzantine Catholic tradition at a good price?

Bride also wants to provide guests with various icons painted or printed on wood as favors. What is a good source for religious items such as these? I also think that it’s an excellent wedding favor idea because it is very representative of them and their faith.

Are there any particular different traditions that I should be aware of when helping the bride with planning the reception? I am not that familiar with eastern catholic or orthodox traditions. I have attended many roman catholic weddings (as a protestant with gobs of catholic family members) and quite a few protestant weddings (methodist and non-denominational mostly), but my experience with eastern catholic and orthodox churches is limited when it comes to weddings.

This shall be interesting. The bride and I will certainly appreciate your advice. Please help. Thanks.

 

[SyroMalankara]

Where are the couple located and which particular Church do they attend? Customs vary even among Byzantine Church, especially for weddings and celebrations. The priest, his wife and/or and older church lady may be your greastest help

 

[Xystus]

I am surprised that they can have the wedding so quickly. I dont know about the Byzantine church but every Roman Rite church i know of says you need to make arrangements a year in advance.

 

[newlywed8]

The differences in ceremony really depend on the exact church your friend’s fiance belongs to.

For example:

• some sui juris churches use vows, but traditionally most Eastern Christians do not (we are married by the priest, the priest is not a witness to us conferring the sacrament on each other)
• the length-- in the UGCC the wedding ceremony itself is a good hour-- if you do a combined wedding with divine liturgy, you can easily be looking at 1.5-2 hours, some churches will do just the wedding ceremony with the sharing of the common cup for husband and wife
• in most churches the entire ceremony should be sung/chanted
• there is generally two parts to the ceremony, the betrothal and then wedding. The betrothal part begins in the back where the engaged couple pledges that they are free to marry and want to marry their fiance. They then walk down the aisle together (no groom waiting by the alter and the bride walking down with her father)
• there is a crowing and something known as the the dance of Isaiah, which is when the priest leads the man and wife around the tripod.
• there ceremony must be done by a priest, not a deacon (again see the point about the priest conferring the sacrament, not the couple).

I am sure there is plenty more, but those are the big ones that come to mind for me right now.

She should really speak with the priest performing the wedding to learn about the traditions typically incorporated into the ceremony and if there is anything special she needs-- such as a smaller bouquet to present to the Theotokos.

For the reception, this will really depend on the groom and his family culture. I can’t really think of any specific ‘Easter’ reception traditions as much as just Ukrainian, Greek, Russian, Arab, etc reception traditions.

While getting a small icon for each guest is admirable, I could also see that getting pricey for a budget conscious bride if there are a lot of guests and you want quality icons. I would plan on at least $20 each for a small icon. Maybe there are cheaper options out there? I just haven’t seen them.

To be honest, for my wedding we had our florist make crowns for us out of green leaves and they worked great, but they do dry out and would not be usable for future couples. I am not sure where you could get permanent ones.

Hope that helped a little.

 

[EqualinHim]

Update: the bride was able to find crowns online and order them. They will hopefully be here in time for the wedding. Also, I believe the groom stated that his family members will be able to attend. His aunt, uncle, cousin, and mother will be present. His father, unfortunately, passed away several years ago and so, sadly, never even got a chance to meet his future daughter-in-law. The bride’s father also passed away about a year ago. Both of them want to honor the memory of their fathers and grandparents during the wedding or reception. Suggestions?

Also, the groom is making the icons himself. I have been volunteered for the role of chair set-up person and it seems that the bride has an army of church ladies to help her along with myself, and some of our other friends.