Rap music in general

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lukefan

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I am battling a culture that I call the “rap culture” in my home. My 15 year old loves rap music. I hate the message that the lyrics are giving these kids - sex, drugs, guns, violence - not to mention the way my son talks, dresses and acts. He has a particular friend that he will hang with periodically and now that it is summer break he is hanging with him more (they go to different schools). It came to a head on Friday when I saw just some of the titles of the songs they were listening to. Cell phone, playstation 2 were taken away, he has been in the house all weekend except for going with me.

My son has a lot of potential both academically and athletically. He is being pulled in a direction (which I truly believe is Satan himself) that scares me.

Has anyone ever dealt with this before and found anything that works. I told my son that I plan to talk to the mother of this boy to explain that this type of behavior will no longer be tolerated in my home so if her son wants to hang with mine, it will be on these terms. But after that any suggestions?
 
Lots of kids are dressing up in this so called ‘urban wear’. They imitate the rap culture and talk the talk. I would demand proper English for starters at all times while at home. The trick is to show them that they are thinking it’s cool when they sound ignorant.

This gang land imitation thing they do is getting worse and worse. You might want to explain it’s roots and try to get him into some other music. For all of it’s faults some rock music is fine. At least it involves some actual talent and use of actual musical instruments. Ask him how he’s going to land a good job when he walks into an interview someday and says to the boss “holla back dawg”.

The big thing is to make sure he at least knows how to act at home. This way it might only be a phase verses some perminent trate in speach and attitude.

-D
 
Why not compromise on the music. I know lots of rap is bad stuff, but some rappers aren’t so bad.

For example:
Atmosphere
Jurassic 5
Deltron
All Natural

They aren’t perfect, but they aren’t nearly as bad as some of the mainstream rappers. There are also some Catholic and Christian rap and hip-hop artists. Take a look at musichristian.com for ideas. Even if you don’t like rap (I do agree, much of it is very very bad, but there are a few that I like listening to), try to compromise instead of forbidding it flat out.

But, I like the suggestion of the above poster. Make your son understand how he comes off to others. That was my biggest motivation to stop cussing (I was sitting with friends one day, and I heard my friend go off cussing about something, and realized how uncool saying f*** every other word made me sound uneducated and immature).

Eamon
 
Check out the thread in the Culture of Life forum on rapper Nick Cannon’s new pro life video!!! Your son does not need need to give up rap entirely… he just needs to see that you can still like rap, dress hip hop, but not be offensive.

Also, vote for his video to air on MTV to get the message out!!! (same thread). It’s posted by Pro-Life teen. Sorry I don’t know how to post a link from here… do a search and you’ll find it.

Malia
 
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lukefan:
My 15 year old loves rap music. I hate the message that the lyrics are giving these kids - sex, drugs, guns, violence - not to mention the way my son talks, dresses and acts.
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You’re the parent. He’s the child. You don’t want rap “music” in your house, then that’s the bottom line. You don’t want your son dressing a certain way, then that’s the bottom line. Et cetera.

– Mark L. Chance.
 
I agree with MLChance. When my youngest boy was a teen, I cleaned his room one day and found a few heavy metal albums; Ozzy, Judas Priest, etc. I just tossed them in the trash.
Boy, was he mad! Tough beans sez I. My house, my rules!

I live in a very small town now and I see these kids going and coming from school. They all look alike, boys and girls. The baggy jeans, huge oversized sweatshirts, underwear sticking out of the pants, everything black, no color. It’s depressing to look at.

Toss the cell phone you took and pack up the Playstation. Have him use the “house” phone and replace the Playstation with books. Sure he’ll be mad…for awhile.
Just remember, your house, your rules!
 
I understand the “my house, my rules” concept. Although I do not yet have children, I was a teenager not that long ago, lol.

But I think that parents need to be careful not to be too strict. Pick your battles, you could say.

What are the most important things you want your kids to learn? Focus on those…they need to know that rules are non-negotiable.

But they need to know that they can talk to you and that you can be reasonable with them too. So before making a rule, be absolutely sure that it is where you want to take a stand. And remember, not everything is black and white…

instead of “there will be no rap music in this house”… maybe it could be “there will be no music of any type in this house that is offensive to myself or God”? If they like rap and choose artists who are not offensive, where’s the harm?

Think back to when you were a teen… did your parents like your music, way of dressing, ways you spent your leisure time? Probably not. Just because there is a generation gap does not automatically mean that there is a moral issue.

Malia
 
I think it is also a good idea to let your son know that what is being said in these songs, is not how life actually is. Try to make him understand most of those songs are just there for shock value, most of the artists don’t really act the way they portray themselves in their music. Your son needs to know the difference between reality & this fantasy life people are portraying. If you feel he doesn’t understand that, then he shouldn’t be listening to it.
I also agree that there are other artists out there who are not as bad as you might think. ( I LOVE the Nick Cannon song/video “Can I Live”). What an awesome message to get out there to young people. How realistic & such a breath of fresh air compared to alot of the other music out there.
Good luck. 😃
 
Chances are your 15 year old does not really understand what the words of these songs mean. I understand the appeal - I am 24 and I love rap music though I don’t like the lyrics. Thing is at 15 it’s hard not to think that because you like the music you have to like the artist.

Have a conversation with him about the lyrics. Tell him if he wants to hear that sort of music then he needs to have this discussion with you. Ask him what he thinks of the lyrics. Let him see that you are not assuming that he is stupid. Discuss the concepts with him and ask him what he thinks of the behavior described in the songs. Then tell him how YOU feel about the lyrics. Ask him if he understands why it offends you. Tell him that you know that he is not that kind of kid but it disturbs you to hear that sort of music and talk in the house.

If you storm in and confescate the music etc then you will only encourage rebellion. He will think that you are ignorant, out of touch and that you assume that he’s a bad kid.
If you approach him in an adult fashion then you will encourage the same response.

Make it clear that you understand that he enjoys the music but he has to be sensitive to others in the house. You don’t want to hear the music blaring and you don’t want him to speak to you in way.
As for the way he dresses - well you may just have to let him go through the phase. Just make sure he dresses appropriately for church and let him wear his urban clothes around the house and on weekends etc

Good Luck!
 
Not all rap music is bad, here’s the thing I posted on another board about this awesome song, for example (sorry I don’t know how to make a link, so I just cut and pasted).

Also, check out Fr. Stan Fortuna at www.francescoproductions.com . I KNOW this sounds weird, but he is a rapping priest (he also sings a lot of other genres too). Yeah, at first I (and the hundreds of other teens at a retreat) were like “ummm, sorry but NO, you can’t be a rapping priest. that’s just weird.” even though I don’t really like rap, he is so good and soon everyone was clapping along and his lyrics are awesome and totally ORTHODOX, he has songs on the Real Presence, two pro-life rap songs, some pro-chastity songs, etc. ;you wouldn’t realize it if you were just “background” listening but when you pay attention its like, whoa, that’s awesome!!! Check out the CDs sacro song I and II​

Here’s an incredible opportunity to get the pro-life message on MTV. Even if you don’t watch it, millions of young people do and you have the chance to get a video on Total Request Live that shows strongly the pro-life message. It’s already been shown on BET.

It’s called Can I Live by rapper Nick Cannon. The lyrics are down below. It’s a true story about how his mother wanted to abort him, but chose life. The video shows his mother lying in the abortion clinic, next to all the instruments, and Nick pleading (sort of like he’s a spirit) for her not to kill him, saying “that’s a life inside you, look at your tummy/what is becoming Ma, I am Oprah bound/ you can tell he’s a star from the Ultrasound.” In the end, she jumps off the table and runs out of the clinic, with Nick thanking her for the gift of life.

HERE’S WHAT YOU DO! GO TO mtv.com/onair/trl/vote/ AND SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM, WHERE YOU HAVE THE OPTION TO TYPE “OTHER” VIDEO. SELECT “OTHER” THEN TYPE IN UNDER Artist Name: “Nick Cannon” and UNDER Video Title: “Can I Live”

VOTE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE (YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT), AND PASS THIS ALONG; WE NEED THOUSANDS OF VOTES TO GET IT IN THE TOP TEN, AND IF WE DO, IT WILL BE AWESOME!
here’s his website if you wanna see the beautiful video www.ncannon.com
Here are the lyrics:

NICK CANNON (f/ Anthony Hamilton) LYRICS

Can I Live

[Talking]
Talking Ma
I know the situation is personal,
but it something that has to be told
as I was making this beat
you was all I could think about;
you heard my voice

[Verse 1]
Yeah Just think Just Think
what if you could Just
Just blink your self away…
Just Just wait just pause for a second
Let me plead my case
Its the late 70’s Huh
You seventeen huh
and having me that will ruin everything huh
its alot of angels waiting for their wings
you see me in your sleep, so you can’t kill your dreams
300 dollars that’s the price of living, what?

Mommy, I dont like this clinic
hopefully you’ll make the right decision
and don’t go though with the Knife Decision
but it hard to make the right move
when you in high school
how you have to work all day and take night school
hopping off da bus when the rain is pouring
What you want morning sickness or the sickness of mourning?

[Chorus]
I Will Always Be a part of you
Trust Your Soul Know His Heart Is True
If I Could Talk I Would Say To You
CAN I LIVE
CAN I LIVE
I Will Always Be a part of you
Trust Your Soul Know His Heart Is True
If I Could Talk I Would Say To You
CAN I LIVE
CAN I LIVE
[Verse 2]

I am a child of the King
ain’t no need to go fear me
and i see the flowing tears so know that you hear me
when i move in your womb that’s me being scaring
cause who knows where my future holds

yo the truth be told you ain’t told a soul
yo you ain’t even showing I just 2 moths old
through your clothes try to hide me, deny
me went up 3 sizes
your pride got you lying saying ain’t nothing but a migraine
it ain’t surprising you not trying to be in WIC food lines

your friends look at you funny but look at you mommy
thats a life inside you, look at your tummy
what is becoming ma I am Oprah bound
you can tell he’s a star from the Ultrasound
Our Sprits Connected Doors Open Now
Nothing But Love And Respect Thanks For Holding Me Down **She Let Me Live…**Chorus]
I Will Always Be a part of you
Trust Your Soul Know His Heart Is True

[Talking]

Its uplifting for real y’all
I ain’t passing no judgement
ain’t making no decisions
I am just telling ya’ll my story
my love life
I love my mother for giving me life
we all need to appreciate life
a strong women that had to make a sacrifice
Thanks for listening
Thanks for listening
Mama thanks for listening

PLEASE PASS THIS ON AND VOTE!!!

Sandra
 
Feanaro's Wife:
I understand the “my house, my rules” concept. Although I do not yet have children, I was a teenager not that long ago, lol.

But I think that parents need to be careful not to be too strict. Pick your battles, you could say.

What are the most important things you want your kids to learn? Focus on those…they need to know that rules are non-negotiable.

But they need to know that they can talk to you and that you can be reasonable with them too. So before making a rule, be absolutely sure that it is where you want to take a stand. And remember, not everything is black and white…

instead of “there will be no rap music in this house”… maybe it could be “there will be no music of any type in this house that is offensive to myself or God”? If they like rap and choose artists who are not offensive, where’s the harm?

Think back to when you were a teen… did your parents like your music, way of dressing, ways you spent your leisure time? Probably not. Just because there is a generation gap does not automatically mean that there is a moral issue.

Malia
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Great post, I completely agree.👍
 
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rayne89:
Great post, I completely agree.👍
Click to expand...
thank you… it’s amazing how 5 words from a cyber stranger can make me feel like I’ve done something worthwhile.🙂

Malia
 
Also, along the lines of “my house, my rules”, I would be careful who he’s allowed to socialize with. I wish my parents had laid down more rules about my friends. It was made known who they liked and didn’t like, but my access to them was never restricted, and if it had been, my teen years would have been much different. Harder on my parents at the time, yes, but better for me in the long run.

Bottom line, whatever you choose to do won’t be easy, but it will be right because you’re the mom and you know your son and what’s good for him.
 
Not all rap music is bad. And it is music, considering the songs are big poems that have a beat behind them and are rapped very fast. You’d be amazed how talented many rappers are. Though I disagree with alot of things that are said in some rap songs, I still like the beats and the flow of the words-though not necessarily what the words mean. There are many rappers who rap about things that many people here would agree with, Nick Cannon, already mentioned, has a pro-life song, as well as a Muslim(I think he’s Muslim, not sure though) rapper, named Common, who has a pro-life song as well.
I’d advise telling your kid about the meaning of the songs, as there are many disgusting songs out there. Make sure that he knows that if the songs have messages that aren’t good, he shouldn’t listen to them.
And please remember that you don’t have to speak in perfect english or dress with non-baggy clothes to be a good Christian. I have a black Catholic friend who dresses with big clothes and speaks with more of an accent, though he is a very good person and 100% pro-life as well.
 
I’d agree with those that said, you should probably sit down with them and talk about the lyrics. They want your respect especially you show you respect them. I used to listen to the rap radio station at work, and I remember at times being embarrased having it on, and knowing what they where saying. I think there is just a sort of disconnect with the lyrics, though there is always that connection there. Making things seem more acceptable. Once I quit listening too it, listening to it now, I’m a lot more sensative to hearing the message.

Of course you’ll need an alternative, so try to build up their music of good stuff. All in all if you listen to music long enough, one will open to it more. Good chance they’ll still listen to rap when they are with their friends, but atleast you let them know the message is bad and atleast at home they are listening to something good.
 
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